Yoga and paleo AIP panic rant

General Support
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I did an hour of sitting in a chair yoga… (I found it on this forum somewhere?) And I did at least 90%of the excersise (if you don’t count the little smuggling she suggested if it was too much) the full length of what she did…

I don’t feel better… but I don’t feel worse either (except for my thumb… it seems to be impossible to move my hand without hurting that tendon…)

I feel stupid for feeling proud… And the only reason is because if I tell my bf he’s like you should just do normal yoga! Don’t smuggle! Just do it 100% what’s the point of doing so little…

I spend the rest of the morning looking up what diet to try… And mostly people suggest the very strict paleo AIP for at least a month and then adding back things one by one to see what does and doesn’t work for you… And that there’s no point in not doing it 100%…

I’ve checked out some of the things they suggest you can eat… and I hate most of it… And my bf will hate even more! They say eat fish… He hates fish he’ll never eat fish… So that means I’ll have to be cooking 2 separate meals… one that I would love to eat as well and one that I hate and have to eat anyway… And I don’t even have energy to cook easy meals that don’t require thinking… I have such trouble with following recipes… Even simple once! I have to read the instruction 3 times… And make sure I did the one before it already and then again because I already forgot what it was… And then the previous step has been cooking for too long already and it’s all messed up…

Just cook everything on 1 day and freeze it so you can heat it up during the week…
Just get a kitchen machine (cutting machine? One of those things that can do everything)

Those are all people who could run a household without trouble before they got sick… I’ve never been able to do any of that… especially cooking…

And then I think: I’m still trying these new meds… What if I try this super strict diet and it seems to work… But then it was the meds all along and I waste all that time and energy on gross food…

What if I try it and I can’t keep it up fully throwing away all the efforts of what I did before I screwed up…

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@Cynthia while you are definitely in a very tough and dark place right now, it’s important not to get bogged down in seeing the failure ahead of you as the only possible solution.

The new diet may help. It may not, but you won’t know unless you try. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend going all in on a diet like a Paleo AIP, especially as it will be full of foods you say you’re going to hate. There’s a lot to be said for quality of life being just as important as taking care of said life.

I eat healthy, watch my calories, and avoid fatty foods. I do find a way to make sure that those foods are palatable, and that they work for both my wife and I - that way, whichever one of us ends up doing the cooking (usually her, to be honest - she has a 7-4 schedule where I have an 8-5), we’re not stuck with something we hate.

Heck, some of those recipes have been duds, which then leaves us with a sub-par casserole for days, but it’s never been comprised of something we don’t like to eat.

Try reducing the foods first, start of with some easy cooking, and then, if you still feel like it’ll help, move onto the complicated and restrictive paleo diet.

As for being proud of doing chair yoga - good for you.You should be proud of doing what you have of it. Keep going and you may get to 100% of it, even - just careful not to push too far.

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I need to be running at full speed if I want my bf to stay with me… no half as trying but full on…

Everything I say he has a counter… he knows I’m lazy because he’s lived with me… he knows every reason I do things because before I said that’s why … and now realising it might be different is just more prove of me being lazy grasping at every straw just to do nothing…

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So I’m going to say the same as diLorenzo. But in my wordy way.

TRIUMPH! Good for you, doing that chair yoga. But you did the whole thing??? Petje af! I would have thought that doing half of it (sitting out the last half of each exercise) would have been a good start. But if you’re OK after that, continue! But don’t be tempted to push yourself too early. When it gets ridiculously easy, that’s the time to start thinking about kicking it up a notch. But do it slowly.

Paleo. Yes, well, many people here have found that a restricted carbohydrate diet really helps. I’m one of those. Paleo is on the extreme end of that: I’d say start by reducing your starches and sugars. If your “household” (LOL) hates fish, why flog it? Lowering carbohydrates is the easiest of all diet dance moves. Lots of vegetables, as much meat as you feel you want, some fruit, and strictly no sugar. When you start, you don’t have to do a shocking switch. Half a sandwich, but with double the insides (beleg). Toss half the hamburger bun, but have twice as much salad. Gradually your body (and your mind) will be happy with fewer carbs, and then you can ramp it up from there.

Thou shalt not cook two meals. You will cook one meal of food that you both like, and from which you can reduce the carbohydrate. PM me if you want coaching doing this. (I spent a lot of my career teaching food prep and I know a thing or two about food that you Dutchies eat.)

What’s with the “whole hog” or I’m out of here approach? Is BF setting you up for failure? Is he keeping score in a game that he knows you are going to have difficulty in? Collecting small wins is the way to start, and the way to keep playing so that eventually you be strong and skilled enough to play the full game. I’m sorry, what you say about his attitude strikes me as being mean and unsupportive. But what do I know: I’m not there in your flat as a fly on the wall, and I hope I am wrong.

For years I thought that I was a lazy slug as well. I did everything slowly. Avoided as much work as I could. Couldn’t exercise, despite knowing that I should. All kinds of good intentions, no follow-through. When I started feeling better, all that changed. But it took a lot of patience on the part of my nearest and dearest for me to get to the point that I am now. And what started the ball rolling was a team of health professionals who decided on a course of aggressive treatment, both physical and mental. I won’t say the rest was easy, but I at least I knew I could. And I did.

Cynthia, look after yourself first. Listen to your body. Reach out to professionals who are prepared to help you. Learn new habits gradually, so that you give yourself a chance of succeeding. Ask those around you to support you in your good intentions and attempts.

We’re with you! Lean on us.

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Thank you!

I can’t see my whole life… I can’t see all the little things I need to think about to change… My bf keeps telling me “just tell me what to buy and I’ll buy it” I have no clue! He just got angry with me because I asked him if he wanted to eat spaghetti tonight… I should have just send a message with a shopping list…

He does so much for me… and he wants to do everything for me… But he doesn’t know how either… And he gets frustrated if he’s not perfect… He ends up crushing every small thing I do and then yelling at me for not doing all the big things… I’ve tried to explain this to him but I can’t get it through… And mostly that’s because I don’t communicate well… I shut down when I’m talking about myself… Or I feel like I’m totally getting my point across and the other person only hears something else I didn’t even realise I said…

I want my flu back… I feel terrible… My pain is back and the brain fog … And depression…

I feel like I am actually lazy though… Even beneath the pain… Or it is completely subconscious… I never think I’m not doing that because it hurts… I am not doing that because I don’t feel like it… Because sitting here is easier… Whatever I’m doing is more fun…

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I tell you, this disease wrecks your body and messes with your mind!

It seems to me that you communicate rather well!

C

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Written and in English is so much easier then Dutch and speaking…

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A good diet is important, Just remember cavemen were lucky to make it into their 20’s and everyone that has ever been found shows signs of malnutrition… (I say as eat fried chicken for lunch)

Nobody can run at full speed no matter their health condition. Humans aren’t built that way. NOR can we be expected to make anyone else happy if we first can’t make ourselves happy.

Many of the flares we experience are self induced from stress and trying to meet everybodies expectations but our own. When we get stressed sends a message to the part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH). CRH then tells the pituitary gland to release adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which tells the adrenal glands to produce cortisol. The result? Inflammation and pain.

Exercise reverses this trend but what really makes a difference is a frank self examination of what is important and what is having the biggest effect on our lives and making appropriate decisions and some hard ones. Yoga is a great thing. I do mine in the evening. it gives me an opportunity to unwind reflect and relax. Its more than just mechanics. I have had to change friends, activities, and even some interests. It is all worth it not only for me, but those around me. When people are in sync, it doesn’t take a lot of talking Understanding comes naturally.

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Fish: tins of tuna (shouldn’t have too much 'cos it it’s a bit of a mercury magnet, but some is okay I believe), smoked mackerel ready to eat cold form the supermarket, tinned sardines (or dutch equivalent), tinned anchovies with hard boiled egg in salad … etc. etc. There’s loads of ready-to-eat fish out there that you could add to whatever you’re eating e.g. having a bit of tuna with a baked potato while your bf has cheese or whatever. Are baked potatoes a dutch thing? I’m so ignorant!

Yeah I like cooking. But these days I only have a kitchen sometimes and other times we move out while stuff gets done to our madhouse. Funny thing is, the simpler I have to keep the meals we eat, the easier and even nicer they are. And I’m very keen on veg (salad with everything, a bit of fruit with the toast at breakfast, you get the picture). You’re having a tough time you are, might be worth experimenting with really quick meals anyway … but loads of veg and fish need not be a trial.

And congrats on the chair yoga! I reckon the benefit really kicks in after a few weeks of any new form of exercise. Keep at it!

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Don’t processed/canned foods all have way too much salt and sugar and preservatives?..

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So write it to him. In English or Dutch, depending on what he can read. Honestly, it’s the best way I’ve found to communicate my thoughts (both dark and light) on the disease with my wife. It’s easier than saying it, and I’d like to think I’m a deft hand at the written word, so it helps in that way too.

We talk about it face to face occasionally, but mostly via emails throughout the work day, especially when I’m in a hole pain wise. If you find it difficult to verbalize it, seriously, write it down and give it to him. Explain what it’s like, and explain how it feels when he belittles the honest to goodness successes you have.

Some do. It’s just a matter of paying attention to the labels, really, keeping an eye out for high salt content and the like.

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I don’t know what to do or how to do it…

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Um … I think tinned tuna is just tuna and oil (olive oil seems good to me). Same with sardines. Anchovies may have salt, I don’t have a tin to check right now. I am convinced by the arguments in favour of eating more oily fish, which is why I mentioned these particular ones. It’s a big hassle changing your diet at first, but once you find things you like and which fit the bill they become your go-to staples and it gets a whole lot easier.

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Its really a simple (and thats why its so hard) matter. What in the relationship makes you BOTH better and what doesn’t. When you know that, ask what CAN you both do to make things better. If you can both do it then do so if one or BOTH of you can’t then other things need considered. If a relationship doesn’t mak both of you better is there really a relationship? Or is it something else. My wife and I have been at it 42 years and are still working at it… In a good relationship you both have to celebrate the successes and move past the failures (which is what I try to impress on my grandchildren who are your age…)

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Seconding @tntlamb here. 11 years of marriage for me, and even before this nonsense started, we’ve definitely had to work at that marriage, whether it’s via the emails I mentioned, or face to face through the various ups and downs we’ve had throughout the years.

That work means there’s been more ups than downs.

Why not try this? Write a letter. Either on the computer or by hand. You don’t even have to give it to him. Just write a letter detailing the issues you’re having, how they make you feel, how you feel if he tells you you should be doing “more” when you’re proud of what you’ve already done.

Then, edit it, rewrite it, go through it again and again. And if you still don’t feel like giving it to him is a good idea, don’t. However, it may provide some clarity on the situation, even if only just to you.

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