I hate it when I think too much. I think when I'm in pain mostly. I think to myself, why me? Why now? How much worse can this get? Will my future children get this? Will my husband get sick of this and leave? I sit and just want to cry but can't. I sit here at work on a slow day and think and just want to call it quits to the world. I have too much to do to have this but I still push on. I have a large painting due Sunday and a cake order due Saturday and still work. I know it's too much but I don't know when I'm not going to be able to continue to do such things. I guess I should just pull my head out of the dark cave of depression that I feel and get over it.
First remember you are not alone and this site is here for you for most of your answers. The people here have been here for me and I know they will be here for you.
Second, find the right medicine combination and you will feel a difference. But, you have to be patient for it can take a while or it can come quickly. Just remember to never give up!
Third, you cannot dwell on the future for NO ONE knows what their future holds. NO ONE. You have to take one day at a time and go from there.
Fourth, seek a therapist. S/he will be able to help you gain the strength to fight.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I do have to remember I'm not alone. I'm starting Methotrexate soon to suppliment my remicade. So hopefully that will help. I really do need to find a therapist. I have so much anger towards myself because of the arthritis and I lash out and it's not healthy. Thank you.
I was feeling the same way until I joined this group. It was good for me to find people who have the same fears and pain as I have. I'm not so depressed as I was, but I still have the fears about my kids and husband. I wonder when the pain will go away and which joint is going to hurt today and I know I was overdoing it. I'm trying to find time to relax a little now and not take on so much, but it is hard for me because I have always been an over doer. I worry on how much longer I can do the things I enjoy too, but try not too much to think of the future. Just live one day at a time and don't worry about asking for help when you need it. You may find that husband and family are more understanding and helpful than you thought they were going to be.
I totally understand your thinking and I used to think that way once. We all move on in our own time once we work out how to. Do get some help with your depression with a doctor and a counsellor and that will help you cope better and come to terms with living with this auto immune disease. You need to do this for the sake of your family.