Hi, I was diagnosed with Psoriasis when I was 2 and then PsA when i was 8...then when i was 23 I was diagnosed with crohns. I have just found out that my bone density tests did not come back good and I will have to go on medication for that as well. I'm 27 now and when people ask me if I want kids I say no. It's not true...I do want them, but I cant possible imagine how I could do it because I am so sick. I don't want my kids to have to look after me, I don't want them to see me hurting, and I dont want to pass my illness on to them.
At the moment I am working full time and the healthiest I have been in a long time but I can shake the memory of when I couldn't get off the couch, or out of bed or didn't know what was going on because I was living on painkillers. I guess my questions are, is there anyone out there that feels the same? or has done it? Is it really possible? How hard is it?
Oh I haven't found mr. wonderful yet lol....it's just something that I think about alot.
Wow, those are hard choices, and sometimes we can struggle so much just trying to find the answers. Let me tell you alittle about my story, it may help you ok. I was 21, when I had my first child, not really knowing that I had PSA, I thought I only had arthritis.....thought to myself ...everyone has arthritis ...ya right!!!!! Within that year I had a major event happen, and bam...proriasis came, I was able to care for my son and work, then at age 23 I lost one, then at age 25 I had twins, then experienced my first full blown flare up, I could not get out of my bed in the mornings, my husband had to do it for me, I could hardle get up from a chair because of the pain and I would have to learn different ways of doing everyday things, like using my teeth to take off diaper tapes to change them. Then had another miscarriage.
No one can tell you to have or not have children, that has to come from God and your heart, but, if I had to do it again, I would in a heart beat, they are my life, my light, my joy. Yes they see the bad days, and have helped Mom along the way, but none of us know what tommorrow brings, but I know that they bring me laughter, joy , fear, pride, and love beyond measure, and never have they said "We think of you less because of your illness" , it is the day to day struggle and mountains that make my children proud of there Mom!!!!!! Most importantly they make me want to live and go on each day! That to me is a blessing in itself! I hope you find your answers, but do not give up.
I hear you on this.. In the past year, I really felt like i was ready for kids. Unfortunately, PsA had other plans for me. I had a ton of health things going on and no one could figure it out. My husband said no kids until you're healthy. I got sad. Finally, a doctor figured it was PsA and wanted to put me on methotrexate. I didn't want to take it until after kids because I was like, I want them now! I talked to my doctor and she said I can't even think about kids until the meds clears the PsA and inflammation up enough. I was heartbroken. But I know it will happen eventually. Just sad that this stupid disease takes over our lives and tells us what to do. I definitely think that you can have kids with PsA.. you have to make the commitment to take care of yourself though, religiously. I have a bad habit of missing medicine and saying eh.. I'll be fine. But you can't do that with PsA I'm learning. I think if you have a great doctor, get on some medicine to get the PsA under control (if you aren't already) they will help guide you through what you need.
I agree 100% with SunAngel. I don't have kids yet, but I have my dog who is like my kid. They are your life. If kids are what you really want, go for it. Get yourself in good shape and healthy with meds if you have to before you get pregnant. Really-- for those of us who want kiddos, we don't want a life full of PsA alone (or with just a spouse). You will have bad days with pain. You will have awesome days. But the good and bad is what your spouse is there for. Through sickness and health. :) If you are going to have some pain.. you might as well have some pain with kiddos who bring you all the joy in the world. Just take it easy and accept help where you can get it from family and friends. so many people will be willing to help! :)