I have decided not to have biological children do to my PsA (it's in my spine and feet predominantly).
My husband (he is extremely supportive and understanding) and I are planning to adopt, but with the lengthy process and concerns that go along with adoption I find I have ample time to think about it...over...and over...and over again some more. I sometimes feel I am being selfish or wimpy and should just have a child biologically. And, then I get a bit of a flare or have a bad day and think, "oh, yeah - that's why!"
I am wondering how many other people have also made the choice not to have children biologically because of PsA?
I being selfish and wanting lots if kids had 4 children. Part of the selfish part was remission with each child, last one lasted 4 years. The odds that they will have an autoimmune where the same that we each have. …
We each have to look at our own situation to do what is right for us.
Good luck in your decision
Oh my gosh, you are not selfish or wimpy!! Deciding to have a child (adoption or biologically) is deeply personal and there are so many things that only you and your husband can consider and decide. I am sure that you will do what is best for you and your family.
I had originally considered having three children, but after my second I developed PsA. Clearly, having another was not a reasonable option at that point, as I had to be on meds, and felt that having more would be overwhelming. Adopting a child is a very selfless act. I salute you!!
I have two sons, one adopted and one of mine own. It makes no difference to me I love them just the same.
I did not get a diagnoses until a few years ago for my PsA and my P didn't show up until my forties and I already had my two sons and by then my eldest was a teen. My natural son now has P which showed up in his late twenties and so far he has managed to control it with a very healthy diet and no dairy. My adopted son in his late thirties was diagnosed with ADHD and suffered from Asthma as a child and as an adult has suffered from mental illness and still has ADHD which he has learned to cope with and in the workplace he is always faster than the others.
There are no guarantees that you won't adopt a child that will develop health problems. The only information we were given was that there was asthma on the maternal side of the family for my adopted son. You have a one in four chance of passing P on to the next generation and one in ten for them to get PsA.
My adopted son does feel he is the odd one out and yet he is so loved and accepted by all his family. He has tried finding his natural mother with my full support but she wants no contact as she has another family and she never told her husband about having a child and adopting him.. No fathers name on the original birth certificate and no way of finding out any information without information from his biological mother. We were told at the time he was an apprentice and both were very young with her only 15 years old.
I would not change my life or relationship with my sons as there is so many wonderful things about it which outweighs anything else.. Just thought I would pass on my personal experience to you to think about.
Always tell yourself that whatever your decision. It was the best decision I could make at that time in my life and don't have any regrets.
it is a personal decision and only you and your husband know what is best for you. Like someone else mentioned, even if you are not passing anything on to your adopted child his/her genes could also “give” them a disease. For all you will know, they may even have a risk for PsA already or some other autoimmune disease. The only point I would like to share is that nothing is a given. Just because you dont have a biological child does not mean they will not have a disease. Just because you do have a biological child does not mean they will have PsA.Good luck with whatever you go through with
Thanks xvanex. What I am concerned about with having biological children is my physical health (would the PsA get worse and could I then manage as well as I can right now). I am not overly concerned about the child getting PsA (although it would be horrible), but I realize that no one's cannot health can be guaranteed. Similarly, I realize that I could adopt, but still get worse.
I was just looking to see if others have gone through the same quandary. Thanks.
I dont have children but from what i have heard from other people with PsA and other forms of autoimmune arthritis is that a lot of the time their arthritis and pain actually gets better during the pregnancy. So many women go through a short remission during & a bit after pregnancy. Of course it would be a concern once the baby is born and you still have to deal with your PsA while caring for the baby. But the care and late nights are going to come with any baby biological or adopted. Unless you adopt an older child i guess.
I have had two biological children. When I had the first, biologics weren't around, and the post-pregnancy flare put me down for about 2 yrs. With the 2nd, he was a year old when Enbrel first became available to general patients (not in a study). I started on it and went into remission. I was not working outside the home so was not juggling that extra stress.
Most people have reduced symptoms during pregnancy. Most people also have a post-partum flare. However with biologics and so many other meds out now, you might be able to weather that storm. My husband helped a lot, and it has made him a better parent and closer to our children because I couldn't do as much with my disease. Regardless of whether you adopt (my mom was adopted! :) or have children biologically, it will be hard, but with an involved partner it should be doable! :) Best wishes!!
Holly5 said:
Thanks xvanex. What I am concerned about with having biological children is my physical health (would the PsA get worse and could I then manage as well as I can right now). I am not overly concerned about the child getting PsA (although it would be horrible), but I realize that no one's cannot health can be guaranteed. Similarly, I realize that I could adopt, but still get worse.
I was just looking to see if others have gone through the same quandary. Thanks.
