Living life day by day

So I actually got a good nights sleep last night - it has been a while. Yesterday I paid close attention to what I ate, no potatoes nor tomatoes which seem to slip into my diet on an endless basis. Since these two items make up a good share of my caloric income, I figured they should be my first items to test. So far today, I woke up with a little stiffness - I would give it a 2 on the stiffness scale in my mind - and it was gone by the time I drove to work. Even though I got decent sleep, I am still finding myself feeling really tired. Thank goodness, I have some little breaks built into my day. Even a 10 minute sit down to clear my mind for a moment is better than just plowing through. This week does have a lot of meetings though and my day will last longer than usual so I had better try to get breaks in when I can.

Third marking period is when I have students jump into instruments and requires my hands to be going at all times. Guitars were first this morning, and my hands did quite well. Left hand moving pretty good, but then again that is the hand that still has a pretty good range of motion and hasn't been hurting. Right hand ended up doing quite well, too. Recorders for the rest of the day. So far, no major headache from it but we'll see how the rest of the day goes. The fingers seem to be working ok for recorders, too, well today at least.

It was two years ago that I had to go for my first cortisone shot in my right hand. Guitar time had made it act up enough that the pain wouldn't go away. I didn't know then about the PsA and just thought I had over used it or something. Last year during this time was when the right hand started to go numb but have pain at the same time. When the pain and numbness continued into the summer (had started in January) and the knuckles started changing colors, my GP realized there was something more going on and the tests began. First it was to a specialist for a carpal tunnel test. Results were yes, there is just a bit of CT issues but not enough to be causing this much inflammation and numbness. More tests were done with no results. Next stop was the Rhumatologist but I had to wait until October to get in to see him. Even more tests happened this time, including x-rays and blood tests. My brain was seeing dollar signs adding up with each visit but my body was saying keep going - we need to find relief from the pain.

Quite honestly, this instrument time is what some of the students look forward to all year. For me, it is the time of the year I really enjoy but also take day by day since I don't know how my hands are going to feel from one minute to another. I am still learning so much about this disease that I still don't know what or when to expect anything thus leaving me to take living one day at a time. I am worried about how I am going to be able to plan things or do any shows because I don't know if I will be able to. By my contract I have to do a show for each grade level and lucky for me they are at two different times of the year. The first show this year left me hurting so badly that I had to take the following day off (and then the weekend) just to recouperate enough to get back in my normal routine again.

I understand that I am still quite early in my diseases progression, but I plan to be here for these kids as long as I can. I also realize that as meds increase, my immunity will decrease and being in the public school system may not help my situation. For now, I will live life day by day and take things as they come. I will enjoy the time I am spending with my students and encourage them to be the best they can be by being the best I can be. That may mean I vent on my blog at times and may even come across cranky to you all on here but to my students I will be strong and take each day one day at a time.