Ice & Snow, only 20 below

Well, it's been a while since I blathered on my blog, which isn't surprising since I'm pretty boring. My last post was in July, and the weather was warm and nice.

The weather isn't so warm or nice now.

If I'm honest then winter hasn't been too bad, meaning that on Dec. 27 it was warm enough to be out in shirtsleeves and I was putting junk in my spiffy new shed. We'd had some snow, a couple feet now and then that melted off. Then January came and had a field day. Lots of deep cold, lots of deep lake effect snow. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to go out and snowblow, or shovel, when it's 0 out and windy. Sadly, I live in a snowbelt and I have to go out and do both with depressing regularity.

We usually get at least a bit of a warm weather to break up the monotony of snowfall and freeze. Not this year. I clomp around like an old mule, puffing and blowing, cursing the gods of winter, wishing the snow away. Might as well wish for a pot of gold.

This year there's been no melting of the ice or snow on my roof, so even with it being a nice slick metal roof it's piled up with snow, taunting me. Stupid Winter gods. Today it was actually above freezing for the first time in weeks; I decided I was going to try clearing some of that white crap off my roof while my stepson snowblowed the driveway. He was taking way too long, like normal, so I headed out alone. Grabbing my horribly heavy old steel shovel I went to face my frozen enemy. The ice was laughing at me, I'm sure, watching as I ambled around the yard, looking to see which way was going to be easiest to get to where I could knock some of the 8 to 10 inch deep ice loose. Finally I decided to sneak up on the roof from the east, because I bet it was expecting a frontal assault and not a sly circling in.

Slogging through deep snow is never fun, especially when you have to pack down every step and knowing you are standing on 4 feet of snow. Some spots are even deeper, from where the wind blew some mighty snow dunes. I was undeterred, I can handle this. I bet I looked like Godzilla facing Tokyo as I stomped my way toward the house. I did much stomping. After I got to the house I managed to knock loose a lot of ice and snow. I felt all proud of myself, lookit all the work I did and how much I accomplished! Take that, ice & snow!!

Tired but victorious, I started back the way I came, staggering slightly from fatigue, but still glowing with pride due to all the awesome snow battling I did. Logic dictated to go in my already stomped steps, so off I plod, realizing as I did so that hey, maybe I should've taken some of my pain pills before heading out to do this (my shoulders were throbbing), but I'll take 'em when I get in the house. No big deal.

Bouyed by the prospect of hot coffee and some nabumetone I figured the 20 foot strip of deep snow wasn't going to be a big deal, especially after all I'd already done. I was mistaken. Taking a hurried step I missed where I'd stomped the snow down and sank...deep. Like boob deep! OMG! My other leg twisted weird and I flailed around, suddenly trapped in a stupid snowbank like a moron. Of course my stepson was still in the house, and Mr. Chicken was, too. Thank god! No one to see how totally dumb I am!

I gotta say trying to use a heavy old steel shovel to dig yourself out of a snowbank that is up to your boobs with one leg twisted up funny is hard. The constant giggling over your own stupidly tends to slow you down, too, but the cold does help numb the pain in your hips and feet so that's a bonus. You also can just hear Winter laughing at your plight, filled the mirth and malice at your woe. I was concerned parts were going to freeze and fall off for a while, and I'm sure they wouldn't be parts I could do without.

After much digging, cursing, and flailing I freed myself, but it was a very slow go of it. I was soaked through, cold and no longer as full of pride as I'd been 20 minutes earlier. When I finally stumbled in the door I'd decided I was done playing in the snow for the day; I think winter and I are at a draw at the moment. What a day.

There is a bright side after all this! Only 37 days until April, and officially only 25 days til spring!

Nice short story about a day in the (winter) life of oh look, it's a chicken! Why am I not surprised a person with a name like that is a good story teller?