Good Morning.....First, it took me awhile to put into words all that I am feeling....and then into the Discussion title!! Coming to terms with PsA and how it has and is affecting my body, mind and spirit. I read this website frequently and have to to realize that each of our life PsA stories are varied, but we all share one truth.....our lives have been affected/changed by this autoimmune disease.
I believe that with each new symptom or change in my body, it brings me back around to going through the 5 stages of grieving for a life threatening or life altering event which was introduced by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in the 1960's......Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Not that it is a daily occurance, but I have become aware that there might/will be times when I will have to go through the process to reach a new acceptance.....of the PsA diagnosis, inability to take walks with my husband, using a cane, inability to work, having to go on social security disability. Loss is never easy.....but I know that if I look at the reality, speak about it with someone and know that I still possess what defines me....such as my faith ....I will prevail.
Because I have reached acceptance with many things, I have changed for the better....I am more compassionate, patient, very grateful for the simple things, I can laugh at myself alot more and I am a much better listener!!! I seem to be more in tuned to people (and myself!). I think it is because when I was struggling in the early years of my illness, all I wanted/needed was someone to take the time to sit and listen....no interruptions, no judgement...just listen, so that I could say the things I needed to say...out loud....and then go on.
One of the biggest things I have come to realize is that life, this illness will always have it's twists and turns.....and I am learning and have been given the tools/wisdom I need and will need to continue to accept and grow as a person.
Thank You All For Listening and Being A Part of This Website!!!!
I have had the same experience, learning to accept this. I think I'm starting to.
One of the toughest things is not being able to explain to someone what's happening because it's a wasted effort. In addition, I would rather have something that I could hide better. It's one thing to have this disease to deal with but another to everyone see that I'm having trouble.
I definitely see things differently since starting this struggle.
Very well said! And how true that coming to terms with PsA isn't a one-time thing. Our disease changes, our treatment changes, we develop new symptoms, or we regain some sense of normalcy...and have to come to terms with our new selves once again!
Hi Susan. You’ve done a lovely job capturing the difficulties that go along with this disease. I have been seeing a therapist to help me cope and she introduced me to ACT therapy (acceptance and commitment therapy) which starts from the point of view that as humans we all deal with happiness and sadness, wellness and illness. So instead of striving for happiness, it teaches you to learn to cope with whatever is. It has been really helpful to me for seeing things for what they are: although I’m sick, I’m not broken.
Glad to see you getting your head wrapped around your illness and seeing it for the moving target it is! Thanks for sharing your beautifully expressed understanding with us all.
Good Morning.....It has been 24 hours since I wrote this Discussion post, and have thought alot about my words, where I was at when I sat down to write them out and push the Post button.
As I said yesterday, I read this website and use the Search function often.....which has helped me become an advocate for myself. Educating and filling in the blanks of ongoing or new symptoms which appear/disappear in a heartbeat!! I am so grateful!!!
But what I wrote yesterday was different....on a different level. This was coming from a place deep in my heart which I hadn't been able to put into words.....due to fear, feeling vulnerable, misunderstood, or pitied???....I don't know. But I realized that Health is a Great Equalizer....When we are struggling with a health issue, it doesn't matter where we live, how long we have been ill, how much money we have or what we do for a living.....we are all brought to the same level. And this level is from where I wrote.....my human heart. I have found thru the years that it is much easier for me to share symptoms, info on PsA to family and friends....but formulating into words what was deep in my heart was difficult. Yesterday, I knew that I had the ability to do this.....via this website. The people that would read it, would understand and not judge.
This level we get to when dealing with an illness can be very powerful. I have found that if I can say the negative things that are bothering me out loud, I feel like I am releasing the negative power it has over me. I visualize this negativity dissolving into the atmosphere!!! There is also a very positive power....wisdom. Wisdom from life's trials. I was with my 89 year old mother-inlaw a couple weeks ago. She was speaking of how her life has gone upside down due to health and her inability to no longer do the things she wants to do. I listened.....After she had finished talking, I shared with her that I truly understood. She started to cry....relieved that someone understood her loss. I see this wisdom of being able to relate to others difficult situations as a positive aspect of our chronic illness.
Oh My.....I hope this all hasn't sounded too deep!!! I am just coming from my heart which I needed to share with people that would understand .....Is anyone else at this place ??? Thank You all....
On some days I’m there. On others I’m in a different place. It might me pity, or anger, or hopelessness, but if I can stop and breathe and feel into my body, I can often get back to that feeling that you describe. Equanimity? Connectedness?