On Saturday, hubby and I went out to volunteer for a local nonprofit organization's event for single moms. Single parenthood is tough and I was one of those for 9 years, so that cause is near and dear to my heart. I'd like to be able to say that I went for completely altruistic reasons, but that just wouldn't be true. I needed to get out of the house and stop moping around feeling sorry for myself! So off we went. While we were there I was able to interact with people and really listen to their stories. Sometimes that's all that is really needed to help people feel better. I heard a lot of stories that really resonated with me - many of these women had been in horrifyingly abusive relationships with the fathers of their children. I spent 10 years married to an abusive alcoholic and drug addict, so I could relate. They loved to see my (newer) husband and I together (he looks remarkably like Santa Claus), and seemed to take heart that the possibility of love and lasting friendship in a relationship was not only possible but could happen for them as well. That being the victim of domestic violence was not a life-long sentence, but rather, a set of experiences that, while painful and terrifying, did not define them.
I know you all know how difficult getting out and doing stuff can be, especially when large joints are affected (like knees and hips, and spine). I have slowly found myself getting increasingly isolated and depressed. My husband, (bless his pointy little heart) usually works 7-7 (or later) Monday-Friday, 9-5 on the first Saturday of the month or 9-3 the rest of the month, and sometimes even on Sunday. My son goes to school from 7:30-3:45, and often stays after school until 5 or 6 for after school activities. That leaves a whole lot of time for me to sit and brood. There are lots of things I would like to be able to go and do on those weird days when my husband comes home early or has a Saturday off, but because of the PsA, we usually sit at home and watch T.V. Its just too painful and too physically daunting to go out and do things that I know I'm going to end up paying for in terms of pain, stiffness, and fatigue. So we usually don't go out and do anything. blech!
BUT...
While we were at the event, I happened to notice that the event was happening in a place that had what looked like brand new wheelchairs, walkers, and scooters at every doorway for people who needed them to use. *LIGHTBULB moment. I wondered what they did with the OLD wheelchairs that have gotten worn out and were no longer in use. So I asked someone, who asked someone, who happened to find the right person to ask and they sent me home with a wheelchair. For free. The most amazing part of this story is that the wheelchair they gave me - one of their "reject" wheelchairs looks (and rides) like it is practically brand new. whoo hooo. Now when I want to get out and do things that I have avoided in the past because of mobility problems, I CAN GO AND DO!!!!! My husband is an artist, and Oklahoma City has a huge arts community. Every weekend there are things to do for free that we simply haven't been able to do because they require too much walking (parking in downtown OKC is ugly). So...first Friday of every month, we can now go to the Paseo Arts District and go on the free ArtWalk (where they feed you and ply you with wine at every gallery for free). Second Friday of the month we can go to a different arts district in Bricktown for THEIR artwalk. Third Friday of the month they have free outdoor concerts (weather permitting)...and we can go now. Starting to see the pattern here? :) Granted, the wheelchair is a pusher, not motorized, so my independence is still somewhat curtailed, but I wouldn't want to do these things without hubby anyway, so it works out nicely. I am starting to feel human again, and it is a GOOD feeling.
