‘This too will pass’ is for me one of the most intensely irritating phrases but also the most true. And when I get overwhelmed especially by what PsA throws at me as well as just life, I repeat to it myself constantly. And it helps because it puts me in ‘waiting mode’ emotionally and that than lessens the panic issues.
And if it helps every time I think I’ve got PsA behaving well, something always happens. I gashed my shin one September it took 7 months to heal, 7 months of attending my GP nurse for dressings weekly, sometime twice weekly. It got infected twice so two lots of antibiotics and I had to shower in a plastic boot thing for the entire 7 months. But it passed, leaving a scar behind, but it passed.
However two months before that I discovered I had spontaneously developed two fractures in my pelvis. Massive panic over osteoporosis from steroids and being past the menopause etc but it turns out I don’t have any osteoporosis, certainly not in my hips and very mild osteopenia in my neck which is fairly standard for post menopausal women. And that passed even though I spent the entire summer on a walker feeling so fed up because I couldn’t do anything.
The following year I spent 8 long weeks having persistent diarrhoea, which eventually landed me in hospital for IV antibiotics and rehydration. The cause - sulfasalazine threw a temper tantrum because I started on a biologic. It’s apparently rare but at least known about. 24 hours after stopping the sulfasalazine I stopped being resident in my bathroom. So that ended just before Christmas just gone. It passed.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, and I had been doing so well generally, I was literally skipping for joy so I decided to do some gardening - roses desperately needed pruning. Did about 5 roses, sorted out some brambles, decided that was enough went inside for a shower and when getting dressed, my back went into spasm for the very first time in my life. So I’ve just emerged from spending two weeks in tears lots of the time due to pain, taking muscle relaxers, not sleeping as bed was the worst place I could be with this back and finally I think it’s easing. So this too is passing.
The thing is we can try our heardest to do everything right, to try and keep our PsA nonsense behaving but it still likes to throw curved balls. And that’s not because we’re doing anything wrong, that’s simply, in my view anyway, just the way it is.
So the more I think that, the less I beat myself up. And the more I sit there sometimes and think to myself ‘well this disease is certainly teaching me resilence, isn’t it?’. But learning resilence is a good thing too so you’ve got to grap the positives as they trot by. And believe me my personality type has little or no patience either, but I’m certainly learning it now.
I think you’re you doing a fabulous job with all the life challenges you’ve face recently. This is just a PsA blip or a blip not helped by PsA. Either way it will pass, believe me it will. Be gentle with yourself sometimes. Give yourself time to just scream ‘unfair’ and have a crying jag and then say ‘this too will pass’ and just wait. Often you need several of those as well. But believe me it passes. Huge hugs xxx