You sound very like me. I manage a team of staff and I am much kinder to them if they have a cold or cough than I am to myself.
The problem is I am a people pleaser. I also survived abuse and I was made to feel like I had to protect that person. It has left me feeling I have to please everyone. So I know what you mean, exactly. My heart goes out to you.
To lighten things up and make you laugh a bit. When I was 20 I lived outside Utrecht for two years, in a very pretty area - but quite remote. My boyfriend was working in the Netherlands. I had to learn the language and so a tutor was hired. She travelled every week from The Hague. She was lovely but she could not teach me. Every time I went to the village, all the people would speak to me in English because they wanted to practice. So I never really got to converse. I learned to read and write, but Iām out of practice now, though I can still read a bit, 30 years later.
Back to the original topic. Iām impressed with you Miss Cynthia. You remind me of a golden retriever puppy. Thatās a good thing. If you canāt play with it, or eat it, you pee on it and move on.
FWIW back when my daughter was in the mental health field she would advise her clients going through a tough time who were told by those who werenāt getting it and were told by their āfriendsā just to do it (far different than doing a piece at atime as your friends here suggest) to answer with how about id I break both your legs and just tell you to "walk it offā
Thank you! Yes!.. itās the same the other way aroundā¦ I have no clue how to translate anxietyā¦ anything I think off or find sounds stupid and equivalent to saying ācrazyā which is also much nicer in English then our āgekā
I tell people that or something close but they still donāt get itā¦ For them if they feel bad they can just look at a puppy and smile and feel betterā¦ That must mean itās the same for everyoneā¦ just like if I broke a leg I canāt walk and when they break a leg they canāt walkā¦
I even tried: if we both fall down some stairs together and I just have a few bruises and you broke your legā¦ I wouldnāt tell you to just get over it and stel je niet zo aan! (go back to @Seenieās lesson if you forgot ) Iām fine so you must be doing fineā¦ It doesnāt stickā¦
A friend re-built his lovely, ancient house almost stone by stone. Then he got MS. The bathroom down some rickety steps was pretty inaccessible for him. I suggested he use a shute, to get down there anyway, not sure how heād get out. And he said how about I break both your legs & you can use a &*^&&y shute. That stayed with me somehow. Definitely worth it, that one.
I thought it was lovely. What does the title mean? The line she repeats the most? I loved her voice too.
And you know Cynthia, just resting a while on a comfy ledge is good. Sometimes it doesnāt matter how far up or down it is either. Once you can stop a while and give yourself a breather. My guess is thatās exactly what most of us do at any given time as well. But you decribe it much more eloquently.
Cynthia, I think itās often hard to see yourself from the outside; a few others have said it, and Iāll join in.
You are doing an amazing job in pretty challenging circumstances. You might feel that you canāt talk well about emotions, but Iām overwhelmed how eloquently (yep, stolen that from Poo) you speak about feelings, in a second language, no less.
I really struggle with that, which is one of the reasons youāll find me off discussing epigenetic changes, meds, or wheat packs I realise life hasnāt magically transformed for you, but Iām pleased that the last few days have been better
Hard to translate reallyā¦ itās asking for shelter with you ācan I then with youā is litteral but it sounds wrongā¦ she sings about scary things and asks if that happens can I come hide with you or get under your wingā¦ and if thatās the case you can always come to me, Iāll leave a room free just for you.
Sheās a gay comedian/radio maker/columnist
When thereās a club I donāt want to belong to
Can I then with you
When thereās a rule I canāt comply to
Can I then with you
Itās so much easier in a second language! Dutch comes from the heart, English from my mindā¦ Dutch is way too closeā¦ itās like talking about someone elseās feelings in Englishā¦
As long as I keep sitting without trying to rock the boat (like drinking way too much last night and suddenly wanting to go to the 14th floor of my building just to see how it would feelā¦ getting out a razor and putting it close so itās there if I needed itā¦ because it felt comfortingā¦) Iām fineā¦ I actually felt pretty good yesterdayā¦ I didnāt have anything nice to eat in the house so I had some honey rumā¦ and then anotherā¦ and anotherā¦
I fucking hate thisā¦ I love the taste of it and feeling a little woozyā¦ And now I need to be scared of itā¦ I donāt think it ever got this bad beforeā¦ and it wasnāt even too badā¦ I had a bit of a headache when I woke up but now Iām fineā¦
Anyway that wasnāt the pointā¦ the point is that not worrying about having to feel better actually made me feel betterā¦
It is hard to translate, again, because of the nuances. Iād lean more towards "Can you give me shelter?" because of the connotations of safety and warmth.
The other day I was reading about diplomacy and politicians. They almost always use interpreters, even when thereās a common language that both diplomats speak really well. Thatās because the interpreter can get the connotations and nuances right.
I guess the same could be said for all of us here: when we talk about our experiences with PsA, we all understand the connotations and deeper meaning of what we say. If I say āoh, the pain in my knees is keeping me awake at nightā. You, Stoney, Janson, Sybil, random ā¦ everybody knows what Iām feeling. Say the same to one of your friends, and youāre likely to get āYeah, I remember the time I twisted my knee playing soccer owweeeeeeā
We speak PsA here. And thatās the beauty of a support board like this.
itās automatic thoughā¦
) Iām fine so you must be doing fineā¦ It doesnāt stickā¦
I realise life hasnāt magically transformed for you, but Iām pleased that the last few days have been better 
