Thanks for the support everyone, I feel reassured that I’m not the only one who does it! Let’s hope the newly prescribed enbrel makes a difference otherwise I’ll be moving through the grief curve to angry!
I cried in my first appointment with my Rheumatologist when my diagnosis was confirmed. I also cried in a follow up this week as methotrexate is clearly not working for me and he suggested adding in Leflunomide - which i know has quite severe implications for fertility (need be off 2 years before even start trying) - I'm 36 and childless. In the end we settled for adding in Sulfasalazine.
However, I also see it from the other side. I am a GP and people cry in my consultations all the time, in fact if I don't have a couple a week I fear I'm not doing my job properly or not being empathic enough and not communicating properly with my patients! Its really not a bad thing, its good to open up and tell your doctor how you are feeling and how this condition affecting you, better to shed a tear than bottle up your emotions. Doctors are used to this I promise.
Aimee, thank you for a Drs. prospective! Your patients are lucky to have you!
It's ok to cry. It's understandable. I have cried too. Having this makes you nervous, worried, and frustrated at times...it's a bunch of emotions all at once. It also affects your family and friends (they worry about you and then you worry about them worrying if you know what I mean)...it also affects your social life too. Time with friends etc. Also some ppl dont understand what you have or dont think much of anything as if it's just a cold..they have no idea...my pain, what I can and cant do is not always visible to other ppl. That can be frustrating but nor do I want to have to explain the things I can , can not, or should not do. Anyways I hope you find relief soon. Just remember it's ok to cry. You are releasing a bunch of emotions and that's good for you, keeping it in and letting it build up. Take care! .....ps) Today I dont feel like crying, instead I feel like yelling at my dr. He wants me to go onto Enbrel and I agreed after talking over my concerns with him. He reassured me like many on here did. So I agreed. The process of starting it has started. I still have to get the approval from my insurance provider. BUT the problem is my dr is taking almost 2 weeks to fill out the insurance form. After he's done filling it out, the secretary is supposed to call me in... I'll have to go back to his office and sign it before they fax it to my insurance company. I dont know what is the delay. The secretary - it's like talking to a wall and doesnt seem to care. In fact Enliven faxed the form to my dr's office twice cuz secretary said she never rec'd it the first time. I dont know when I'll be starting enbrel. Actually never mind this I dont know if I will start it...cuz the insurance company needs to approve of it. Worse is my dr told me to go off mtx and I did...that was almost 3 weeks ago..but I dont know when I'[ll be starting enbrel. It's so strange. It's not like I asked my dr for it. He is prescribing it for me yet he is sitting on it. What's he waiting for!!!! kidding. It's so frustrating. The secretary acts like Im bothering her.... the 2 times Ive called in 2 weeks about the status. What's with her? I cant say I dont want it anymore as it's a sweater. . It's for my health. I will suffer. If this was a sweater I was ordering online, I would just cancel my order lol.. but this is different...So all I can do is wait for the dr. But Im serious he's acting like or should I say the secretary is acting like she's doing me a favour. This is Canada's health care system. You wait for everything!!!
libby said:
I have cried so many times I have lost count ! Last night I cried with the insurgence rep. , the insurgence company denied my claim for an MRI , which I need to get off methx and start on the next med. have a better day !
If the worst you do in a week is PO a secretary, then its a pretty good week.
Were it me Beecreek, I'd show up at the office and let them know I've packed a lunch for while I wait for the paper work. I would then sit down near on of the tables for magazines, clear it off, put on a table cloth, set may place and then bring out my lunch. Be sure and have something that needs warming and ask the receptionist if she could zap it for you as you pass out without food ever so often.
Heeee,I’m happy a bad day but you just made me laugh, you are too funny Mr Lamb 
Make sure you take an aromatic type meal though - curry is good for wafting around the office.
It just goes to show what a bad day I’m having,I didn’t check auto correct!
Aromatic curry hmmm,with lots of garlic
I did that once when I had a miscarriage. The secretary kept insisting the "earliest opening is ...." I told her I would be down and wait in the waiting room until someone could see me. And then did so. I didn't even bring lunch and they got me in very quickly. I never lost my cool I just spoke very sweetly and held my ground. Maybe they had new carpeting........
Perfectly handled...Awesome. I'm sorry for your miscarriage...Good for you, for being insistent, and reminding us to do the same, with dignity and class.
michael in vermont said:
I did that once when I had a miscarriage. The secretary kept insisting the "earliest opening is ...." I told her I would be down and wait in the waiting room until someone could see me. And then did so. I didn't even bring lunch and they got me in very quickly. I never lost my cool I just spoke very sweetly and held my ground. Maybe they had new carpeting........
Oh my you are funny . Well we (my family) lives 1 hr+ away frm the dr ( Rheumatologist) office so it's not so easy to drop in & if I walk out with nothing I wont be a very happy camper. but my husband works in the city so it would be easier if he dropped by to check the status. I'll see. Yes, I am having a pretty good week & I am going swimming tonight =)
tntlamb said:
If the worst you do in a week is PO a secretary, then its a pretty good week.
Were it me Beecreek, I'd show up at the office and let them know I've packed a lunch for while I wait for the paper work. I would then sit down near on of the tables for magazines, clear it off, put on a table cloth, set may place and then bring out my lunch. Be sure and have something that needs warming and ask the receptionist if she could zap it for you as you pass out without food ever so often.
Oh good for you! Keep to the water, there is nothing like it for PsA. I will walk in the heated pool 88-92 degrees tomorrow, then the hot tub then a massage. Pure Bliss! I can be pain free for 24 hours. Yum!