Hi everyone,
I’m going to come right out and admit I’m having some adjustment issues since I finally got diagnosed and I asked my rheumatologist about specialised counselling.
Much to my surprise there is such a thing in the rheumatology department. Two days later I’ve received an opt in letter.
My problem is that I feel like an imposter. I have all the PsA problems, plus cardiac complications and I feel like… I don’t know… sort of like I’m not entitled to be as I am.
I don’t know whether to consider myself incapacitated or whether I’m even ready to think this is forever. I resent it.
I’m guessing this is some type of “normal”. I’m surprised I’ve got that off my chest so easily. Maybe I don’t need counselling at all 
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To cut to the point. Without being nosey, does anyone want to share if they’ve found specialised counselling useful?
I was not offered specialized counseling, but I’ve found generalized counseling (mostly CBT combined with a little general talk therapy) to make a huge positive difference, I just wish I had done it sooner 
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I would grab that offer with both hands!
Of course its normal and yes its useful. Not only for coping with the “adjustment” of the disease. But its also important to know that without out exception the physiological progression of the disease because it is the autoimmune system that is effected and the autoimmune system regulates a number of other systems including the opiod centers (pain) nucleus accumbens of the brain (pleasure center) serotonin (depression) and endorphins (pain control)
Knowing this, you can quickly figure out “some” mental health issues are physiological/auto-immune and the certainly some (especially depression) that are part and parcel with PsA.
Know its not just the chemical imbalances that cause those issues. The best example I can think of is a simple headache. A couple of aspirin fix it. It doesn’t mean your body is short of aspirin. The same with some of the depression issues just handing you a handful of antidepressants making up the seratonin, isn’t enough.
Its been helpful to me and I’m sure others will chime in.
I’ve not been to a counselor as yet, but am thinking that a specialized counselor might help with understanding that you are NOT an imposter… yes, I think “adjustment issues” would be fairly “normal” and am sure that a specialized counselor would be able to help you through that, and would definitely be useful in teaching you tools to deal with many things that come up from both getting the diagnosis and dealing with the effects of the PsA too.
Oh, and there is nothing to be lost IF you find it not so useful, and everything to be gained if you do find helpful… you won’t know how it will go for you until you try 
@janson @tntlamb @Jen75
Thank you all for your thoughts. I think yes, it’s an opportunity I may not get again in a hurry, so will give them a call and get the ball rolling.
Thank you.
Hi Joy, yes, I think that is the wise thing to do!! I wish you all the best with it!! Any help we can get to navigate our way through all of this has to be a good thing 
Best of luck!!!
I wish I went to a counselor before I stopped feeling like an imposter and went to were I am now… Not saying your heading there… but I’m sure if I went 10 years ago I wouldn’t be in the mess i am in now…
It’s much better to go now when you might not need it (although I think it’s always helpful) then having to wait 8 months (until now I’m not being treated yet only had tests… and on a new waiting list now for actual help…) when your at rock bottom…
Oh I’m so sorry Cynthia - I do hope you will get that input VERY soon. I’m grateful to this group - not been in here long but I do find everyone is incredibly supportive and that’s a great help too xx
I didn’t have specialized counseling but after a number of things–dealing with PsA, unsuccessful shoulder surgery in 2013, a cancer scare in 2014, multiple work issues as a result of PsA and the cancer scare and some untreated stuff growing up (scapegoat child among them)–boiled over into sabotaging myself at work multiple times, I saw a psychologist for about six months last year.
He gave me a new way of looking at how the damage from my childhood affected my responses to PsA, the cancer scare and the work stuff. I still remember the things we talked about. In fact, I’ve been a bit triggered by something this week–I didn’t commit sabotage but had a conversation with myself about whether what happened has any real impact on who I am and my worth as a person. I also use his techniques for other issues.
I’m happier at work–everybody has seen it and mentioned how much better I look and act. I’m happier all the way around.
I would still be going but my psychologist got offered a job doing PTSD research at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base here in the States. Veterans issues are close to my heart because my husband is an honorably retired veteran, including service in Kuwait/Iraq. He left the practice with my thanks on several different levels.
That’s a very long way of saying finding someone to talk to is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Sounds like a huge benefit to your overall wellbeing- it’s good to hear. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences @sixcatlawyer
I’ve gone 3 different times in my adult life, all for “adjustment” issues. I saw it as hugely beneficial the first 2 times, as it provided tools that came in handy for the next 15-20 yrs. Those first two stints didn’t involve any physical issues though, so I never gained any tools in dealing with the joint problems that began in my mid-20’s.
I went a 3rd time after my father died 3 yrs ago, as I was stressed with taking care of a 10-yr old son with many medical issues, plus my elderly mom who lived 4 hrs away, PLUS my own worsening knee/back problems. I was surprised to see a common thread popping up: I never think I’m “bad off enough” to justify not being like everyone else (working full time, acting like my body works perfectly, standing with other people when my back/knees are screaming at me, justifying ANOTHER knee surgery).
Honestly, I guess I felt like an “imposter” too, even if it’s not the sort you were discussing. At that time, I had a probable PsA diagnosis, which was eventually confirmed within 15 months (last November) when other joints starting swelling up too. It took my bad knee totally falling apart in the middle of all of this to realize I’m NOT like everyone else, and maybe I need more coping skills. My problem now is how angry & defensive I get when others say I look too good to have anything wrong with me…because it sounds like OTHERS are calling me an imposter too.
So yes, I think counseling can’t hurt. Assuming life hasn’t totally gone south on you yet, I think it’s great to have coping skills and someone in place who can help, just in case life DOES start throwing one major curve ball after another at you, with no rest in between. I think I need to go back and learn to handle the anger/defensiveness at others, not necessarily my body. I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and I applaud you for being willing to even consider the subject of counseling. My parents thought it was all trickery and fraud, and I’m glad I have a completely different view.
–Lisa
Coping with this disease is more complex that we sometimes think, and if they offerred you counselling immediately, it’s obvious that they do not think you are an impostor. I’m guessing that their assumption is that if someone asks, they are ready for it and they are most likely going to benefit from the process.
I wouldn’t mind some counselling myself, but I’m not quite sure where I’d go for that. The counselling offered within our health care system is overwhelmed with clients, and private counselling is damned expensive. I rely on my friends, but if you are offered a professional service, jump at the chance, Joy!
Thank you @Seenie . I was sitting with the other half earlier when I heard myself say "I wonder what would happen if I came off all the meds, other than the heart drugs’. I’m always full of doubt. He reminded me of how long it used to take me to walk up the road. He says my counselling can’t come soon enough I think he was trying to be kind 
My husband had a similar reaction. I remember the summer Friday when the straw which broke the camel’s back happened and I blew at work. I still have the private e-mails I sent. I also remember the very difficult conversation I had with a co-worker who received one of those e-mails.
We live about 15 minutes from my office. We were driving home when I told my husband I was tired of blowing and I needed professional help. I had been talking about and around it for months. My husband’s only response was FINALLY. I remember we were at the on-ramp to the expressway when I told him.
Over that weekend, I looked at our health insurance database and picked one. That Monday, I called. By the time we quit talking, I had an appointment for the following Friday.
When my husband walked in for lunch, I gave him the whys and wherefores. He knelt down on the floor, grabbed me and said he was proud of me because he knew it was a big, hard step.
Do it. Do it. Yes. Yes. Yes.
What lamb said about the psych/physical in inflammatory diseases shouldn’t be ignored. Counseling saved my relationship, my sanity and gave me coping skills for this disease. And the simple knowledge that if things get icky I can go back for a tune up really helps, too, even if I don’t go. The reassurance is enough. Good luck!
Contacted the hospital today to trigger the opt-in referral. There’s a 7 month wait, but at least I’m in the system.
That’s a start. This is the book I recommend (available via Amazon.co.uk but also at other fine booksellers, I’m sure!)
7 months? Gordon Bennett. Let’s hope it’s not urgent then. I’m finally acknowledging that I get anxiety. For me that’s quite an admission. Just cleaned my bathroom, it helped.
If your bathroom is causing anxiety, it prolly did need cleaned. My teens cause me that kind of anxiety daily… LOL