Hi all,
I’m wondering if anyone out there deals with any family members that are over protective because of the condition? I love that my fiancé understands and helps out when I’m having a bad day, but sometimes it makes me feel worse about myself. I have always been self sufficient and really active. Heck, we even met at a gym a few years back. I understand that I have some limitations, but I want to live my life to the fullest while I still can. Does anyone else tend to have these problems?
Not a bad situation to be in. I don't know just how recently you've been diagnosed, but it may just take some time to sort itself out. It's not uncommon for people to not ask for help, even when they need it.
I've always been very self-sufficient also, but have realized some things need to change. My hands are starting to warp, mostly from osteo, and I've realized I have to protect them. I now am much more likely to pass things to someone to open for me, or whatever it is. And when my husband is being over-protective, it's balanced out by my kids being completely oblivious.
I have to say, at least he is understanding that you're having difficulty. I also understand that it can make you feel worse, like you can't look after yourself.
It's been hard for me to not only let other people do things but trying to get across, especially to my son, how much pain I am really in and that I need help.
Lucky girl! I have a very supportive family. We are a mixed bag though, I am the only one with PSA and I also have RA and Osteo, some have RA, some have Osteo and some MS. I am so thankful that those in the family who don't have one of these diseases supports those of us who have one but I do get annoyed when my family tries to baby me or some of the rest of us. I know they mean well, but if we are having a good day then let us have one, don't try to cuddle us when we don't need it, save it for when we do! There are times when we need help and days when we are good! I am also fortunate to be married to someone who understands and lets me be me. Don't hide it when you need help, ask for it. Pain is real
I was only diagnosed about 6 months ago, and I understand why he's so over protective. His mother has severe RA and osteo. Her hands are completely gone at this point, and there are a lot of things that she can't do. It's even worse because the doctors told the family that her RA was sped up by a bad car accident that she was in years ago. Believe me I understand how lucky I am to have him. He comes home after working over time and wants to know how to take care of me. He even reminds me to do the little things that will help me, like stretching out before bed so I can sleep better.
I also understand the flip side. There are a lot of people in my life that can't see that there is something wrong, so obviously I'm fine. It happens a lot at work. On good days, I'm one of the best at my company at what I do, and the managers know it. However, at my age, on bad days some things may take a little longer. My mother has issues seeing it as well. She says it's just mind over matter. I wish it were that simple.
I have to say, I'm getting better at asking for help, but it's still so hard for me.
I understand completely.My teenage daughters are always there to help me. At first I resisted any help. It was my pride. I have always been extremely independent. But I learned I had to accept help if I wanted to avoid flares. Be gracious and accept help when it is offered, so that you will remain strong, longer. After all wouldn't you be doing the same for someone you loved if the shoe was on the other foot.