Paul and I found out that you can pick up a LOT of speed going down the driveway from my office, at least wheelchairs can.
We have this procedure for leaving. While I’m getting situated in the SUV, Paul is putting my book bag, whatever we have and the wheelchair in back. When we left about 6:30 one evening recently, as usual, he was making me laugh and we weren’t paying attention.
As I’m getting in, I hear a noise and look to my left in time to see my wheelchair rolling down the hill, gaining speed as it goes.
Part of my brain thinks damn, that thing is flying.
A second part of my brain thinks it’s going to roll all the way to the road and end up in that little rill.
A third part thinks SAY SOMETHING!
The fourth part of my brain laughs like the loon I am.
Guess which one is the strongest? The part watching the train wreck.
I finally get my mouth in gear but the only words I can enunciate clearly are HEY! $h!t! HEY! $h!t! HEY! LOOK!
Paul looks up, his mouth falls open, his eyes get wide and everything in his hands goes SPLAT! He takes four steps and realizes the only thing to catch THAT wheelchair is The Flash, which he is not. I have this hee hee hee laugh I inherited from my dad when I get really tickled. I’m laughing so hard I’m snorting and hee hee heeing all over the place.
There must be a divot in the edge of the driveway because all of a sudden, the wheelchair takes a steep left and hits the curb outside the building down from mine. If you’re in the US, have you ever seen Berke Breathed’s comic strip, Bloom County (we love it, always have)? That thing looked like Cutter John and the gang were riding his wheelchair, three feet off the ground to boot. Mine goes airborne and ends up in the grass, one wheel spinning round and round and round.
The two loons? Paul is in the middle of the front of the SUV, mouth still open and eyes even wider. I’m laughing so hard now I can’t breathe. That one wheel continues to spin.
Paul calmly comes around, gets in the driver’s seat, looks over at me and says Shall we go pick it up now?
I finally quit laughing about halfway home but periodically, something would set us off again.
The wheelchair? Fine and in my office this morning.
