Need some emotional support - feeling like crap during the holidays!

General Support
21

+1 Gizmo

Then there is my son's suggestion (he's 41) Lets all be naughty and we don't have to worry about Santa

The Taco bar is a great idea for Christmas day BTW (only because we do it and there is a couple of great crock pot recipies for meat out there) We also use time bake on the oven for Rhodes Cinnamon rolls. What a neat thing to wake up to wafting through the house.

We are lucky in that Christmas has always been a simple (but special) time in our house. All of our kids (9 and counting) were agency kids. Almost without exception their lives started to go to hell at christmas before they got to us. Folks started drinking, fights, unmet expectations etc etc. So we always down played it.

I say simple but we will have over 60 through the house (old foster kid and families plus our local kids and grand kids a few students stuck here for the holidays etc.) Chrismas eve. The highlite for the kids (including the teens) is the cookie station. We have a bucket of dough a bucket of icing and a bunch of "decoration stuff" they can make as many as they want BUT each one is special for someone else. (we have three ovens going) A couple of $.99/pound sale hams and couple roasters full of scalloped potatoes and everyone has plenty to eat.

The secret is to start lowering expectations and the holidays get better that an block those dang Christmas movies on Hallmark and UP.

22

Yay! I say, put a snowman (or should I say snowperson) on the front, in the process of melting down.

23

The official Living with PsA Christmas cookie:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Melted-Snowman-Cookies/Detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=melted%20snowman%20cookie&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Recipe

24

Perfect! That’s one more thing off my list. LOL

25

LOL You guys are hilarious!

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Lol Good one Lamb! :slight_smile:
Its half 6 in the morning and I can’t sleep. Today is my official biscuit (cookie) baking day, so I might as well start now. Mine are much simpler and just so easy ( paired down over the last few years) Baking some for us and some for presents.
These are so easy, those who cant cook can make them under instruction :slight_smile:
100g butter
50g icing sugar
150g plain flour
zest 1 orange
3/4 tsp cinnamon

cream sugar and butter, add flour zest and cinnamon
roll out, cut whatever shapes you fancy, Bake at 180 degrees C until golden ( about 20 mins)

If you want to ice them drizzle, over icing sugar mixed with the juice of the orange.

Hey, how about we start a thread of simple recipes for us…the start of a PsA recipe book?

27

Awww, Laura, the lesson for me in Lamb’s post was that he manages to have 60 of his nearest and dearest together, enjoing eachothers’ company and making, sharing and giving food. Amazing, if you think about it. I shudder at the prospect, and at the potential expense. But Lamb and Mrs. Lamb have found a way to have Christmas happen in a way that they can afford and that works for them and their flock. OK, so maybe the menu isn’t nutritionally balanced: there are plenty of other days in the year to make up for that!

For me, the message for Marietta in this thread is: get everyone involved and keep it super simple. The most important thing about the holidays is enjoying eachothers’ company, not how elaborate or how expensive the trappings are.

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Ever feed a couple of NFL middle line backers???

Laura E D said:

With your concentration on large quantities of cheap meat and potatoes (no fruit, no veg) did any of the kids end up with problems with obesity like yourself or eating disorders?

Part of what makes the holidays special and celebratory to me is eating things that I fancy. Moving into a denial of all that I like (the so called lowering of expectations to someone else's tastes) tends to throw me into a deep depression!


29

How dare someone challenge what is on someone's menu. The whole message was how people cope and make it through the holidays without going over the deep end.

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I suspect she was mostly kidding. (BTW I am healthy 6' 3" and 225#) I have to add one thing though I have been fortunate enough because of my profession and a nephew who is a senior VP of a major cruise line to have traveled the entire world and eaten some of the finest restaurants in the world. The one thing I have learned is you never have to compromise anything because of simplicity. One of my daughters who is a chef could serve you a tennis shoe and make it memorable. Quantity on a plate means nothing either. BTW does anyone have clue how many groceries you have to buy to get two whole hams for 99 cents a pound......... If you only get Ham an scalloped potatoes once a year its special. Its sort of like corned beef and cabbage (its getting harder to sleep in the garage) You can't imagine what the kids would do when growing up for a trip to a fast food restaurant. They would fight over who got to clean the goat pen (we made our own cheese, but one of the kids couldn't have cows milk and there weren't all the alternatives available)

Rebel mom said:

How dare someone challenge what is on someone's menu. The whole message was how people cope and make it through the holidays without going over the deep end.

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OK OK, see how easily misunderstandings happen on a board like this? LOL That’s why they pay us moderators the big bucks.



I really didn’t think any offence was intended or taken (except maybe by the linebackers, but what do I know about hockey?), but we don’t want anybody feeling more anxious than they need to at a time that is high stress for a lot of folks.



Laura, thank you for the kind greetings. I am feeling better this year than I have in, oh, at least ten Christmases. Today I am making eensy weensy Butter Tarts. If you don’t know what they are, they’re a Canadian thing. And definitely not NR (nutritionally responsible). I’m having to remind myself how that’s done, it’s been so long. Then I’ll give most of them away. Too bad you (and Marietta and Lamb and REbel Mom and Nym and Louise and tmbrwolf … and … and …) live so far from my house, or I’d drop a few off.



Have a happy holiday, in your own way, and be kind to others and yourself. <3 <3 <3
Mouse ears, as MiV would say.

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Everything is a matter of perspective:

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LOL Lamb! Love the cartoon.

Husband and kids and I got the tree decorated and cookies made. I mostly "supervised" and we had a good time. Husband is off getting some treats right now, and then we are having our low key winter solstice celebration tonight! (first fireplace lighting of the tree, a few gifts, etc). Then a few days of rest, and then Santa visits :)

34

I bought cookies from the store. How sad that I went from the person who baked so much to the person who buys Christmas cookies at the grocery store. Just couldn't work up the energy or courage (to fight through the pain) to make my traditional Texas Sheet Cake, lemon bars, or any of the other yummy goodies I've always made. While at the store I did pick up the things I need to make my Bundt Coffee Cake for Christmas morning. Decided to be optimistic. :)

35

Marietta,

I'm sorry you are feeling blue. It's funny-I tend to judge my "wellness" by how much I am able to cook too! If I can make dinner, I am going to be okay.

This year, I scrapped to cookies too. Last year, I think I made something like 12 dozen, but this year? Nada. At first, I felt like I was not living up to my end of the holidays, but last year really wasn't any better because I pushed my poor body into making all of those cookies. Instead, I spent Thanksgiving and a few other days either in the hospital or the ER for uncontrolled symptoms and pain. Partly because my PsA wasn't controlled, but I am sure the other half of that is because I tried to be super-woman. This year isn't much different from last; the PsA still isn't well controlled. I'm on prednisone right now too, so there are times when I feel super, but if I push myself too hard, I feel the disease start to rear up. My guess is that the family would much rather not spend any of our time together in the hospital, so when I am doing to much, I try to dial it way back. Putting myself in the hospital would be failing them. It's one of the very few things that I can control.

Since the prednisone fog has you down, I have a cookie idea for you. How about those Pillsbury sugar cookies? The kind you slice and decorate? You can make colored icing and let the kids cut out shapes and decorate them with icing and sprinkles. You can probably get away with doing it at the dining room table, so you can sit and supervise. It sure beats standing in the kitchen for a few hours. Maybe you all could make X-mas Rice Krispie treats? The kids could add sprinkles or food coloring to the fluff? Just some thoughts to make your Xmas more merry.

I hope you start feeling better soon, and that you have a wonderful holiday with your family. (Hugs)

36

Here is a soltion for your teens marietta......

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Ironically, the fact that you are not as well this year in comparison to other years may make this Christmas the best of all. Check out fun free things to do on Google and make the kids get some ideas as well. I remember one Christmas when I could barely stand and yet it was the best Christmas ever. Money,expensive toys,are great but sometimes,just sometimes, a quiet Christmas can stay in the memory for years. You don’t love your family any less, every other year will help them appreciate the poorest Christmas’s. There are people out there who just want to escape the Christmas mayhem. Kids are very empathetic and as much as you would love to shower them with expensive gifts my kids always loved the cheap things the way out things but most of all just being together that is after all what Christmas is really about and there are many others out there fairing the same.

38

If you were just recovering from Christmas this year consider this:


39

Marietta,

Hi!

I just found your thread and I would like to point out that you are very strong!. You have been dealing with this for some time and it has you down right now. Everyone gets that way and it has been very gloomy weather wise. You can make it through this spell. Think of the sunshine that will be here again soon. Remember with we PsA people that makes a huge difference in how we feel day to day on top of everything else. :)

I did not make one thing by myself this year for Christmas and I used to host a houseful of at least twenty minimum and I made everything from scratch.Those days are gone for me but I found out that everyone likes potluck and the choices are amazing when everyone adds their own touch. I had one gathering at my house this year. We watched the Grinch and frosting prebaked cookies. We had a Blast !!!! The pictures are the best ever because I was in them for a change and not behind an apron or a kitchen counter.:) My grands will know I really existed LOL

The medication does to me exactly what you mentioned and it is making my emotions wonky and sad. Last week I had to struggle every single morning to face the day and not turn to suicidal thoughts. I made it!! ..... with a lot of positive response and prayers from those here at the site. Sometimes those crazy thoughts and feelings just pop in and bring us down . That is all they really are ..... thoughts we would not give pay to normally.

So ignore those sad thoughts and come here. Talk it out and get hugs.XXXXXXX 'cause you are strong and wonderful.

Your children will deal, this is what teenagers do... complain and whine and then turn around and say you are the coolest mom in the world over the silliest little things. They really are very resilient, they just like to let you know you inconvenienced them :0

Great posters tntlamb -nailed those little monkeys temperaments for sure.

40

I would urge you and your husband to read at least one book by both a child raised by a parent who had chronic disease and another by parent with chronic disease that raised a child. There are many so i will let you pick one that appeals to you.

I personally found them both to be very helpful and also realizing that children raised by even one parent with chronic disease are going to grow up faster than others. Some have great issues about this others seem to handle it. The books help you figure out why one does and how to help your own children to stay children and have as normal a life as possible.

Like you said...they do not go out to tree lightings, parades etc...well just because you might not feel up to it your husband can take them, or another relative or close family friend. I say let others fill in where i cannot plus the more people children have in their lives that love them and show support the more well balance they seem to be.

I am sorry about you having a bad year..i get it. I do not even put up a tree anymore,but i do put up some lights! I just do what i can as it is only my husband and i plus our dogs. The dogs are kind of like kids( a lot easier) but they still get you up going and moving..which for me is a good thing. Plus, they take my mind of myself.

I totally agree about pred pills and try to share my experiences of using them so others do not overuse them and pay in ways I have as well as others i know. They really play havoc with your moods, often making people more violent, angry, dark moody. I even saw this in one of my dogs...who was very friendly dog, began snapping at people and our other dogs after only being on it few days...i promptly started weaning her off immediately. something else would have to reduce the inflammation!!

As a friend told me, whole earth grocery stores make a very excellent dinner...she said i should use places such as that. If you live in larger city often there are caterers who will make dinners not just for the holidays but for single person or entire family as many nights per week. They can bring them one day and you freeze part as they are for later in the week. I did this for friend in college who did not cook and was just too busy as well....he loved it! I love it if they had it here!!

There are many suggestions here as well. I personally do not think we need that many sweets during the holidays. If you have just one batch it is enough. Or what ever, fudge, pie whatever you would like to be holiday memory for your children to carry on hopefully themselves.

I really hope that you take the time to read a few books which might help both you and your family in the future to have more normal life! Or if it sounds too much, maybe a good family therapist who has experience with chronic disease also might be a great place for all to express their wishes and come up with a plan that works for all!

I sincerely hope you are feeling better in this coming year!!