I understand you are trying to help with this suggestion. Keep in mind however, that I was dx with PsA as a child, and planned carefully before deciding to have children while having this disease, being well aware of the issues that can arise as a chronically ill parent raising children. My university training was in family therapy. So I've pretty much got this covered. If you read my original post, you will see the main issue was *my* feelings about the holidays. My kids are perfectly happy with everything, and in fact frequently tell me how lucky they are that I'm their mom and how great I am (even though they are both teens!).
siskiya said:
I really hope that you take the time to read a few books which might help both you and your family in the future to have more normal life! Or if it sounds too much, maybe a good family therapist who has experience with chronic disease also might be a great place for all to express their wishes and come up with a plan that works for all!
“My kids are perfectly happy with everything, and in fact frequently tell me how lucky they are that I’m their mom and how great I am (even though they are both teens!).”
You are one lucky momma, Marietta. I hope that my children will appreciate me like this one day.
I did get that you personally needed some help. With many of us, that can mean we are concerned about our children and how our disease is affecting them and our entire families. That is how i heard what you wrote. I am sorry i misunderstood it, sincerely.
Clearly with your history, you are much more on top of the emotional side of having chronic disease and how it can affect not only us but our families. I did not know about your history..if i had, i never would have suggested any books etc.
I do hope that in this coming year you do feel much improved from the past!! again, so sorry for the misunderstanding.
In the end, all works out well. :) Hope you find a little sunshine today. Hugs to you and yours just for dealing with everyday life. Sometimes that's not so easy>
Wow Seenie what a wonderful response. Some great ideas there, wish I'd thought of them.
Seenie said:
Yippee! They are old enough to be put in charge of fun. I don't know your kids, but at that age, most of them will step up to the plate when presented with a challenge to make things fun for themselves and others. How about --
o a calendar -- they alternately are responsible for planning and executing one fun thing a day (that doesn't require Mom to get up and do a whole bunch of stuff
o give them a small budget for supplies -- baking and cooking mixes, movie rentals, decorations, new seasonal music
o involving the parents of the kids' friends ... could you offer to have the gang over if the parent comes as well?
o hiring a "sitter", not to mind the kids, but to facilitate having fun. Bake with them, do crafts or decorating, have a party etc. There will be a suitable senior student in your kids' school or church, guaranteed. Just as one of the teachers (and they know you, because you volunteer there).
I'll think about this and if I come up with any other hairbrained ideas, I'll let you know. I think you could mastermind a memorable holiday if you think outside the box. And I'll bet there are lots of people smarter with these things than I am who will come up with stuff too.
I hear you !!! I had bronchitis for 10 days in December and was in bed completely incapacitated. My Mother and sister were in Costa Rica and she was going to fly home to take care of me (yes, my 78-year old Mother). I talked her out of it.
I had no decorations, no tree,didn't do any baking or shopping for any presents. My family decided not to exchange gifts this year because I was sick, my sister has Lupus etc. But unlike you I don't have any young children. I have a daughter in college (we did buy gifts for her).
Fortunately our big celebration is Christmas Eve - Christmas day I literally slept 19 hours and on December 26 slept 14 hours. Have no idea why I was so fatigued - it just happens to me sometimes.
