Anybody else need to vent during this hectic time of year?--I'm getting all jittery--things are piling up!

Sorry, I don’t usually need to rant/vent about my daily life/activities, but I think I’m going to go crazy sometime during the next 10 days. If I make it through Christmas, I’ll be okay, but the stress of the season is starting to show in icky ways–I’ve had poor sleep (which isn’t too abnormal for me), chest pain and heart palpitations, nervous jitters, more joint pain than I’ve had in a long time and my ears are ringing louder than ever!!! I need a maid, a psychiatrist, a personal shopper (any kind of personal assistant would be nice right now) oh, and I massage would feel great…I’m about ready to take a drink, something I haven’t done in 45 years!

My husband agreed to have a surgery on his hand next Monday–my day off work to get things done, at least keep up on things–I’ll need to be his driver and caregiver all day. I can’t believe he couldn’t put it off until after X-mas. Now he’ll be no help to me at all! I have a dermy appointment Tuesday morning, work 5 hours, then a rheumy appointment in the afternoon. I have Wednesday off, but I’m afraid to look at my calendar 'cuz who knows what’s on my schedule for that, my other day “off” !!!

I’m hoping by releasing some of my anxiety I’ll feel a little better (I can only hope) and if anybody else wants to join in this pity party or whatever it should be called, come on in! – maybe we’ll get some humor (you comedians know who you are). It just might help us all put things into perspective and realize we can handle it!

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Omg how incredibly frustrating that you’ll have to do everything yourself!! Big hug!

My Christmas is really easy I’m going to my mom on the 25th and then my dad’s at the 26th… I won’t have to do anything… Which is good because last night I prepared the meat for dinner all the way before realising I didn’t start he potatoes yet…


That sounds like a very relaxing Christmas, Cynthia! And, thank you for the big hug!!! Just moaning about my dilemma made me feel so much better–at least for now! And, after I complained, I got up off my bu## and started cleaning. I also found boxes and got a lot of the presents ready for wrapping. Luckily, I have 3 granddaughters old enough to help me wrap and we have a blast! I’m hoping that’ll happen tomorrow.

I think for me, when the house is messy I feel overwhelmed–if you saw it, you’d feel overwhelmed! Nobody helps me and maybe it’s my fault because I’m kind of particular about how things are done and I’d probably not be satisfied with how they cleaned. The only person who does it just like me is one of my 3 daughters, and she has 5 kids now so I’d never ask her to help!

Well, back to the job at hand. This is usually an all-day affair on Saturdays.


I started moaning early for Christmas, I’ve wrapped up a whole load of complaints & dragged the self-pity out of the attic. Haven’t yet managed my seasonal mini-nervous breakdown and there’s not much time left! Still, best to keep something in reserve for the big day.

Vent away! I really hope it helps. I’d be very, very tempted to leave the tidying up. But then I feel extremely comfortable in messy and downright insanitary houses, rather more self-conscious when that’s what my own is like. So I have some sympathy. But you’re suffering … that can’t be okay, something has to give. Could you & your other half brainstorm ways to cut corners?


Grandma, I think I’m with you on this one.

I’ve been on the biologics two weeks and the arthritis is better than its been for years - but I think the stress of the last few months has finally caught up with me. It seems to have been one thing after the other, what with an horrendous flare, followed by an allergy to MTX, and then Mum in hospital (and still getting used to the new scenario now she’s home), various infections (albeit minor), IBS suddenly waking up after being dormant for quite a while, blood tests that had lab errors but were eventually fine, trying to calm Mum down as she panics about Christmas (“I’m not the woman I was!”), and now starting the biologics.

Like you, my body seems to be giving up on me. I’ve got skin infections again, breathing issues that I think are panic-related, stomach problems that I think are panic-related, and general want-to-crawl-and-hide-away-in-a-corner-itis.

Hopefully once Christmas gets here, everything will stop. Otherwise, me and Grandma will get a log cabin somewhere and hibernate together.

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You missed your calling! You must have been the funniest - funnest - is that a word? teacher in the whole dang school! You crack me up every time!

Same here, other people’s houses can be a shambles and I don’t care, but when my own living space is gross, I’m a wreck–and that’s pretty much 5 days a week! However, I can eat in my gross kitchen and not worry about bacteria, but if I’m in someone else’s gross–like I mean “sticky” gross house–I can’t eat.

As funny as you are, I somehow can’t imagine you being a complainer or wallowing in self-pity! I bet you have everyone rolling on the floor when you’re having your “mini-nervous breakdown”! – I hope I haven’t offended you, but I would think you’d have your own self laughing!

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Well, darinfan, I’m glad your arthritis is better!!! That’s great news! But, geez, sorry about your Mum and the IBS flaring up. I should mention, and I don’t think I ever did mention this, but when I started taking Enbrel, I did have diarrhea and IBS symptoms a couple days after the injection. I had had IBS years prior that went “dormant” like yours, too. I was never sure if Enbrel brought it on again, so I never really linked it with taking Enbrel. But, I’d say several times, I can’t remember how many–maybe 5 or 6 times–just a couple days after my injection I’d have IBS (at least what I thought was IBS). That happened in the first couple months and then it stopped. So, maybe some biologics do have that effect on some people. Hopefully, it’ll stop when your body adjusts to the biologic.

I do notice there are days I feel pretty good. I think we need to really be aware of what we’re eating, getting enough sleep, and trying to avoid stress (not easy this time of year).

I feel tons better now than I did this morning, and I’m almost positive my bad attitude had something to do with the turmoil my living space was in!

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@Grandma_J, venting/ranting is completely normal (especially for us girls :wink:) in fact I’d go as far as saying it is utterly essential at times, especially if we mean to keep our sanity.

As far as Christmas concerned I opted almost completely out of the whole thing a few years ago… at first I felt a bit mean over it, but the bottom line went like this, I didn’t have the $'s to buy people presents (and what I could afford would have been rubbish they didn’t want cluttering up their homes anyway lol), I had enough rubbish already cluttering up my home and really didn’t need anymore in the way of gifts from others, add to that I’ve gotten too old to be up till 4am on Chrissy eve/day organising food to feed an army (I always did far too much and most of it would go to waste anyways lol)… so I let my family know, in the nicest possible way (well, I tried anyway lol), so now our family Christmas consists of a quiet lunch at Mums with me, my sister (only sibling) and Mum and Dad (who are both getting passed coping with any fuss too), lunch consists of salad and bread rolls (remember it’s the height of summer here, so too darn hot for cooked lunch and heavy desserts anyway lol). My son lives in Aussie now and won’t make it home this year, one niece is also in Aussie and won’t make it home this year either, the other one is 2 hours away, but will probably be working, and we don’t get to see her and her daughter on Christmas anymore, so it’s just the 4 of us, and that’s plenty. We use it as an excuse to spend another day together :slight_smile:… In a sense I guess we are lucky that we only have a small extended family, so that makes doing this easier (with our kids being all grown up it’s easier to)… Let me tell you this much… it certainly makes for a low stress Christmas… which these days suits me just fine!!!.. I guess I’ve just got past dealing with the over commercialism of the holidays… although perhaps I’ll get better treatment sorted out for the PsA by next Christmas and might think differently then :blush: But for now a quiet one is plenty :blush:

So, there is a choice :wink: Short of that I’d definitely be looking for a room in that log cabin too @darinfan

I do understand the stress of this time of year though, all too well. Try to remember, your family care about you and would rather spend the day with a happy relaxed you than with a you who is stressed and worrying about things that are probably, in the bigger picture of life, almost unimportant (like the house isn’t quite up to the standard you would like it to be, and the food isn’t as fancy as you’d normally do etc. etc…).

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Thanks, Grandma. Actually the IBS flared up before the biologics started. But once it starts, you never know when its finished! I also think having the runs is rather like the “blue screen of death” on your computer. For the next few weeks you sit there wondering whether everything is back to normal, or whether disaster will strike again imminently!

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Thanks, Janson. Your Christmas sounds peaceful and void of stress. I don’t think we’ll ever stop celebrating together (the 20+ of us). I’m thinking next year I’ll simplify it in a lot of ways. Change is hard for me, though. Traditions are very important–it dates back to my childhood having a big family gathering with all the cousins at grandma’s house.

I almost feel that dropping our traditions would be like a death, and even though I had a rough morning, just venting here helped me release some anxiety and the rest of the day wasn’t so bad. I know there will come a day when I just can’t do it anymore, and my daughters will take over completely, but I’m not ready for that yet. And I always remind myself how much better I feel that I’m on Enbrel and can do these things that I doubt I’d be doing if my PsA had continued to snowball like it was a few years ago.

I do have my aches and pains which are annoyances more than disabilities, and if they ever become disabilities, I will be forced to simplify things. Then, maybe I’ll spend my winters away from family and in a comfortable climate far, far away from Minnesota!!!

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Oh darinfan, ugh! I hope that clears up! Have you tried to figure out what foods cause your IBS? Mine was whenever I ate salads or fresh fruit at certain restaurants. I’d get really bad cramps about 15 minutes after eating. I think it was an allergy to something put on the salads/fruits to keep them looking fresh–MSG maybe??? Anyway, when I avoided those foods, it never happened. Finally, it stopped happening altogether (except those few times after taking Enbrel).

Hi Grandma_J… yes, it is definitely a peaceful and low stress time for me now, I must admit it took me a few Christmases to enjoy that, but for now it suits me :slight_smile: even if it does make me sound like the Christmas Grinch :laughing:

I completely understand how you feel about tradition too, celebrating Christmas etc has become a pattern of a lifetime for many of us… as I say, it wasn’t easy to start with, and I felt miserable about it, but it was necessary for me at the time and I have adapted to a point where I actually enjoy it that way :slight_smile:

I’ll probably feel differently about it too, if my son ever turns up a with a grandbaby or two for me to spoil :laughing:

It’s awesome that Enbrel has given you so much relief and allows you to continue the traditions you cherish so much… but, yes, there comes a time for most of us I guess where it just isn’t possible/practical for at a least a time. I’m also soo pleased to hear that your vent helped :smile: and you now feel like you have been able to achieve something… that’s always such a good feeling :smile:

Aww… isn’t it funny how you would like a warmer climate for Chrissy one day… and here’s me dreaming of a white Chrissy one day… I guess the grass is always greener… but as much as I’d love to experience one white Chrissy, I really don’t think I’d enjoy it every year.

Anyways… I’m sure you will get as much done as you need to between now and Chrissy day, and I will take the opportunity now to wish you and your family a safe and happy one!!!

Also best wishes for your husbands up coming surgery… I’m guessing it’s just one hand he is getting done, in which case he will still have the other hand I’m sure he can put it to good use helping out :wink:


Aw, thanks, janson, for the nice reply! I hope you and your family have a wonderful “Chrissy” too! (I never heard it called that! :smile: )
Gonna try to get a better night’s sleep now–hopefully better than last night!

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Hi Grandma J,
I completely get where you’re coming from, and sometimes I wish the holidays were just over. I both love them and hate them. :slight_smile:

For me, my knees always hurt more in December, and I can’t seem to ice them enough or stay off of my feet enough to calm them down this year. It likely has a lot to do with our wacky weather too (central US). The cold days are just awful,but then we’ll swing back into the 50’s and 60’s for 2 days, then back to the 30’s. It makes me feel old at 45.

I too like a VERY tidy house, and I hate clutter. It seems like I get way more anxious and jittery when I can’t keep my living space clean/neat.I read somewhere it’s pretty common with anxious, control-freaks like myself. I grew up with borderline hoarders, so I think it’s safe to say I went WAY the other direction. :slight_smile:

Lastly, I think I’m feeling so crappy because I’m not getting enough sleep. My husband was sick for 2 solid weeks and coughed all night, keeping me up too. Then my 11-yr old son gets sick AGAIN—(3 viruses and a sinus infection in the last 5 weeks, plus croup that won’t quit, lots of missed school and Drs appointments)… so I’ve been taking care of us all, plus getting ready for 3 family gatherings at Christmas/New Years’s.

I realized last year that I don’t manage my stress well this time of year,so I finally decided ahead of time that I’d skip a few events I normally attend this time of year and just stay home. It helped my piece of mind, if nothing else, and a few friends simply don’t get it. I’m tired of defending my aches/pains and mental state though.

Last but not least, we joke that our family tends to live in the realm of “when it rains, it pours”----and wouldn’t you know my wonderful supportive/helpful husband tore his hamstring muscle yesterday, so I’m back to taking care of all 3 of us again instead of just me and our son–LOL. He’s done this 2 other times, so I know what to expect, and it’s still better than the winter/Christmas of 2015/16 when I couldn’t even walk----but I had to laugh yesterday instead of wanting to cry!!! I keep telling myself it could always be worse, but man, I REALLY want a good night’s sleep and 3 healthy people in this household.


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Oh, yes, Lisa, when it rains it pours–almost always! Why??? Sounds like you have a good sense of humor about it all, but you sure have your hands full…I’m so glad I don’t have kids to raise anymore, although our 26-year old and her 6-year old daughter living here (temporarily) are “kids” and they keep me busier than I should need to be at 64! Sometimes, though, I think it keeps me young–just being around young people tends to do that.

I hope your son’s immune system gets stronger from fighting all the viruses. Wow, that’s a lot of being sick in one season! I do remember when my kids were growing up and I notice it with the grandkids, too, there are years they never catch any bugs and then years when they’re sniffling and coughing all winter. So, hopefully this is a trend that doesn’t keep up for much longer for your family.

Does your husband have a physical job, or did he tear his hamstring in sports? I can’t imagine how painful that must be! My husband has really weird problems with his hands and I hope his surgery tomorrow will help and not make it worse…this is the third surgery on that hand and the same doctor each time–he screwed up twice already. If it was me, I’d find a different doctor but my husband thinks this time things will work out better. It’ll be six weeks in some sort of cast or immobilizer and then a lot of p.t., so he tells me. :persevere:

I figured out my problem and why I felt the need to vent yesterday! I was coming down with a head cold. I felt really weird and lightheaded all day yesterday and then later in the evening the stuffy nose and sore throat started. I’m doing okay taking ibuprofen for the sore throat and blowing my nose every ten minutes…thankfully it’s not a “man cold”…those seem horrible!!! :rofl:

Love/hate relationship with holidays–I can agree with that! The love does overpower the hate though, so that’s good! I’m sure we’ll all have a great Christmas, like always!

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Ooops, except for Sybil. She’ll have her usual meltdown, as she predicted:

Somehow I can’t quite see that happening, but she knows better than me!

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That stinks! I’m pretty sure I do have the dreaded man cold. I’m sitting here in the hospital waiting room feeling sicker by the minute…do you think it’s just anxiety about taking care of my recovering husband for the next 24 hours? OMG I just want to sleep this off!!!
I haven’t had a cold for 3 years and I hate them. My whole face hurts. I already asked for the day off work tomorrow. Still going to my two doctor appointments–I’m sure they’ll love seeing me with my bug they don’t want to catch! Oh well…

Oh no! I hope you feel better soon! Colds do feel a lot worse if you HAVE to do things… I really hope you can get some rest in between being super busy!

One thing good is Christmas is a week away…I should be over this before then! :blush:

So glad you’ve got the day off tomorrow. Get as much rest as you possibly can. Hope you feel much better soon my friend.