I'm feeling quite emotional i told my husband i was sad Iv'e been talking about my illness since it was nothing i really had the need to talk about my desease. Iv'e been feeling quite uncomfortable between my psoriasis and my deformed arthiritis ,pain and low energy. I don't want to be around people. Everyone is dressed for summer in cute summer clothe's and i don't feel like i can do that between my skin and joint's. they upped my antidepressant's,still theirs no change i pray hard for a miracle .My mind can't focus i can't concentrate and focus on the people in front of me. I feel like i'm out of my brain. I'm not with it. How long will it be like this i'm trying to snap out of this its not a good feeling I force myself to eat and be out in the air. I'm going to reno this weekend not to gamble but to see my daughter and grandson he will be one. we are having a birthday party for him My daughter says he get's into everything like any one year old he a crawler . Will i have the energy does any one have any advice ? I know everyone in my family understand's. They love me i'm just having a hard time with me. I want to be an awesome grandma. I love them. I guess i just went downhill real quick. I've just started humiria a month ago and upped my methotrexate. How long am i gonna have to wait for this stuff to start working? sorry to be a downer .. I know feeling this way dosen't change any thing. I hope i put this on the right dicussion. Thank-you for listening to me.

Dear Emotional - I'm am sorry you are in this difficult place right now. I was there about a month or so ago, with too much pain for my head to process. I have just started Remicade infusions and not seeing much relief yet. I too was very worried about not being the grandma my grandchildren needed me to be. We all live together and I help out often with the kids. It is tough. But recently my daughter got sick and had to have her gallbladder out - and weird as it sounds it kinda pulled me out some - I was able to step up, despite the pain and fatigue when I needed too. I think our Mom/grandma inside comes out when we really need it too. I hope you have a wonderful trip and are able to enjoy the party. I think you will do much better than you think once you get there. And I hope you start feeling more like yourself soon!

I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time. The fatigue is the worse for me as well. I'm sure you've heard all the "try this and that" but nothing is a one-size-fits-all. I agree with "needs answers" that our mom side emerges when needed. Sleep when you feel the need. Something that helps me is a morning start with a fresh frozen fruit smoothie made with coconut milk, bananas, spinach leaves, hemp hearts, ginger, cinnamon, and blueberries. That is after I have my coffee.