One would think that eleven months into a flare I'd know better than to even attempt to shovel snow on my STEEP driveway. But no. Not me. I shoveled snow anyway. I'm an idiot.
Thankfully my idiocy is temporary. Well, hopefully my idiocy is temporary. I know I'll be paying for this tomorrow - most likely while I'm teaching 13 3-5 year-olds at homeschool co-op. I'll make sure to pack tramadol, blankets and heating pads for the rest of the day.
But you know what? It's a small price to pay for being outside on a crisp, cold night, doing something "normal" while enjoying the snowfall and relative peace of the evening. It's all about balance, isn't it?
I don't think you are an idiot Nym....I think you want a NORMAL life. One where you don't have to worry about the simple things making you miserable. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I am too busy to have this happening to me. I've been wanting to "chat" with you as I believe I have anklosying spondylitis and I saw in your posts that you do too. My SI joint pain is just AWFUL and my rib cage feels like it is full of cement where it meets my spine. I have it in my eye too with Iritis almost every day. I have not gotten into the rheumy yet, it's been a 5 month wait for my appt. I've just been diagnosed with PsA by my pain specialist who has treated my back/SI pain for the past 8 years. But, I started reading up on PsA and ran across A.S. and it fits to a tee. I sent a friend request to talk to you about it if you can spare the time.
Trees - my flare has been going on so long because it started in Feb 2011, I got my diagnosis in April 2011, had other health problems to deal with and testing to be done, and couldn't start Enbrel until December. My rheumy actually wants me on mtx and Enbrel, but I have liver issues so can't take mtx. My PsA is being very aggressive. I also have ankylosing spondylitis, which doesn't help.
Lainee - the AS can be worse than the PsA. Mine has fused my SI joint on the left side and partially on the right, which makes movement painful, being still painful ... walking painful, sitting painful ... and there's not much I can do about it. It also means I'm not supposed to do things like shovel. LOL
So yes, I'm an idiot for doing things I'm not supposed to do and causing myself pain in the process just because I feel like shoveling. In this case, though, I'm allowing myself to be an idiot because it wasn't all bad. :)
Nym, that's exactly what I am dealing with. I had a spinal fusion 18 years ago. So, they have been treating it for the past several years as if it is a "failed fusion". The SI joints are HORRID. The pain radiates into my hips and down my leg/groin. I feel like my left leg won't even hold my weight some times when I try to walk. I have been getting cortisone injections in my SI joints for 8 years now...but the last one didn't even touch the pain. I had an MRI end of Dec. which showed "significant" structural changes, and instability of the spine. They have told me all this time that I am wearing out above and below my fusion, but I really believe it is AS and my spine is fusing even more. I have had significant rib cage pain too. And, have had surgery twice for what they call synovial cysts where the fluid/bursa in the discs are bulging out and pressing on the spinal cord. Again, they blame the old fusion, but I think it is AS. I feel like I am 100 years old. My hot tub and heating pad are my best friends....I wish I could rip out the SI joints and replace them. Unfortunately, not an option. The PsA affects my hands, feet, elbows and other joints, so when I wake in the morning, I can barely move until I take a hot shower. It has really affected my life lately, and I'm afraid of the "pay backs" by doing some activities like shoveling! So, I totally understand what you are going through too! Sounds like our lives are very similar at this time. I still work 45+ hours a week too. I need the health coverage as my husband is a small business owner. Thanks for listening to my story...its so good to finally have people who understand what I am going through and to put a name to this horrible problem!
You're right, Nym. I shovelled the other day too. Not for long, but I was out there long enough to enjoy the wonderful atmosphere. And like you said, to do something normal.
I know what you mean.... I worked a couple of hours overtime and then took my kids to the car show in Detroit....and I paid for that. It took 3 days to get back to my new normal. Was it worth it? YES! We have to make a decission some times to do things that we know will be bad for us so we can get the benifits that we want from life. After all what is a little more pain to people like us. We live with it every day.
I agree your not an idiot... with PsA we have to make the most of all of the good days, hours and months we have...I like to spend my good days baking, cleaning and doing laundry I pay dearly for it later mainly in my feet but those moments of a "normal" daily life are precious to me...and once we finally have a good snow fall if we do at all this season I will also be outside with a shovel.
My husband and kids will be doing the shoveling today! LOL!
Someone asked about whether taking a break from my job is possible. I take care of friends' kids. If I take a break, I lose the jobs because they need consistent childcare. My five kids are homeschooled, so are with me all day, so adding a few more kids to the mix doesn't really make much difference. The four-year-old I babysit and my youngest are 4 months apart in age, and BEST friends. Life is actually easier for me as far as caring for my youngest when her friend is here to entertain her. The two of them go off and play for HOURS - and they take a nap together, too (my youngest doesn't usually nap unless her friend is here).
Hi Nym, I’ve had the “Real” symptoms for the sum total of 10 weeks. Even in that short time, I’ve already done so many things that were ‘over-doing it’ because I so want enjoyable normalcy again. And I can’t pretend to be wise, because I have had so much less experience than others here, bit for me personally, the knowledge that I could push through and feel normal occasionally is so important to how I see myself, in the context of the disease, that it was well and truly worth it.
nym said:
My husband and kids will be doing the shoveling today! LOL!
Someone asked about whether taking a break from my job is possible. I take care of friends’ kids. If I take a break, I lose the jobs because they need consistent childcare. My five kids are homeschooled, so are with me all day, so adding a few more kids to the mix doesn’t really make much difference. The four-year-old I babysit and my youngest are 4 months apart in age, and BEST friends. Life is actually easier for me as far as caring for my youngest when her friend is here to entertain her. The two of them go off and play for HOURS - and they take a nap together, too (my youngest doesn’t usually nap unless her friend is here).