I am letting it get to me

General Support
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I am at a point that I am letting the PsA get to me. The pain from the PsA is enough to deal whit, but I have torn the rotator an labrum in my right shoulder. They are trying PT. I use the word “trying” as a bad word!

The PsA hasn’t missed the opportunity to jump on the inflammation party in my shoulder! I am about to call it quits on the PT. It hurts more now (much more) that when I started PT. The diagnosis was “pin hole” tear in the rotator. I told the doc before he did the arthrogram (can’t have MRIs) that I felt sure the labrum was torn since the shoulder has popped out and back in several times over the recent years. My research says they cannot see a labrum tear on an arthrogram, and usually not in an MRI unless it is severe. My ram is becoming useless. Even sitting and working on my computer all day can make it very painful. Don’t want to be scoped or cut on, so not sure of the next direction.

It was reading some articles on work burnout and found some on chronic illness burnout. Both obviously written by someone that has experienced neither. The small things are getting to me again. I lost one of my cats last weekend to diabetes and it made me very sad, Felt like it was my fault for not having her checked and treated. I took her brother to be tested the next day. He is okay, so that made me happy.

Being somewhat involved in the mental health profession and having learned to deal with my own depression for 30 years, I think burnout from chronic pain is good diagnosis,

My 65th birthday is around the corner and that is a huge milestone while dealing with the PsA. I have set my goal to retire in December 2024, I’ll be full SS age then. However, I’m not sure that will be the best for me. I am very tired of work and all the government BS and the new “Leaders” that come with every new administration that want to change how everything is done. Again, by people that have no idea what the real world is about. But, I am going to have to make sure I have some goals and things to do every day if/when I retire. Problem is the little I can do physically.

My wife and I enjoyed our trip to Alaska in August, but any more travel will be limited. I have to go to Phoenix next week for work. I hope I made the right decision to go because I am going with my boss.

Is anyone else dealing with what feels like burnout from all this? Have any good suggestions? And please, don’t tell me to exercise.

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I hear you. It’s not uncommon for me to go through periods like this, where nothing seems to be going right health wise. I work part time, which gives me some degree of flexibility with work. I don’t know if that’s a possibility for you at all.

I would think that your diagnosis of burnout is about right. In terms of retirement. . … my husband is a teacher, so he’ll be retiring at 55. We’ve started having some big discussions about what he’ll be doing big picture and every day when he retires, so that he’s well prepared. Seeing that last summer he made me a bit batty, I’m sure people can understand this.

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I strongly suggest trying acupuncture for your shoulder. It can help the tear heal faster, especially with electric stimulation. I am a doctor of acupuncture (in Arizona by the way! But not Phoenix unfortunately). I have treated tears like this hundreds of times. It’s always hard to say how something would have healed without treatment, but I have seen this level of shoulder pain go on for years without treatment so it’s worth a try imo. If by any chance you are a veteran the VA will cover it.

I also have an herbal spray called Evil Bone Water. Goofy name, it works. It helps move blood through an area to heal faster, it is an old martial arts formula.

I work with a chiropractor who swears by infrared light and I have seen some legit studies that suggest it works but I don’t know from personal experience.

Heat is better than ice. Epsom salt baths are fantastic. If I think of anything else I’ll let you know.

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I retired at 59. my doctor saw the shape I was in and let me have my SSDI early. why don’t you go ahead and try to get your SSDI and then when you get 65 you can get your full benefit? there is no use pushing yourself into a wheelchair. It is just a suggestion. I stay in pain but If I do not move around my muscles will stiffen and I would not be able to move at all. After retirement relax and enjoy life.!

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I wish the powers that be would let me. My full retirement age is 66 3/4. (Nov 2024)

Before COVID started my docs wanted me to retire that year. The plan was for SSDi in August of that year. But since I work from home now, it will be harder to get SSDI. I also have a good retirement from my job that starrs whenever I decide to walk.

The pushback from my wife is making it impossible and too much trouble to file for SSDI now.

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I’m really sorry. I can hear the exhaustion and frustration in your words. Being as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would be to anyone else is all I can suggest.

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I’m getting burned out because my last three biologics haven’t worked well. So, lots of flares and fatigue that is affecting my quality of life.

I hope in retirement you will feel better. When my sister, who has lupus, retired on disability he lupus symptoms diminished greatly. I hope the same for you.

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Things are a little better. I had to go out of town with my boss last week and discovered a few things. Becasue of a recent shuffle at work, she was demoted to the position a guy held that was supposed to be my boss, but was nothing but trouble, They got rid of him and held her accountable for some of it I guess. I have been working my butt off teaching her everything. The man that was her boss also got demoted over all of it. He took her job. The two of them seem okay with all of it and we are getting back to doing the work we are supposed to be doing.

But while I was with her at the conference, I found out that she and her boss are planning on walking out in 2024 because of all the BS, and not giving much notice. They will both have enough years by then. I already have enough. I wasn’t sure I should tell her, but I did. I told her I was leaving in December of 2024. We found it funny. Her and her boss already have a hastage of #outthedoorin24! Now I am part of it!

We are going to leave without much warning and take the collective brain trust with us if all the BS doesn’t stop. But being we work for the government, it won’t. They are like me, if the BS stops, we’ll stay for the students we serve.

I finally told my wife that was my plan also. She is okay with it. There are still issues between us, but I can hope they get better.

The bad shoulder I have will have to be fixed. I told the shoulder doc last week I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I have a torn rotator and/or torn labrum. It will probably be after the first of the year unless I can get it moved up. He has to get clearance from all my doctors, including my new cardiologist. Shouldn’t be a problem, but they said it may take that long. I have to meet with the anesthesiologist so they can decide if it can be outpatient or in the hospital. I have terrible sleep apnea the anesthesiologist hate dealing with. I get tubed even for a colonoscopy!

So I have that to look forward to. The PsA is not missing any chance to jump on the inflammation in the bad shoulder. That entire side of body hurts.

I hate to have surgery, but we hope it will just be a scope. He said he will not know how bad the labrum is until he can get in to look at it. SInce I can’t have MRI’s, I am used to surgeons telling me that.

Along with all this joy, my brother has learned he has other tumors they did not catch. They don;t give him a year. He is my older brother and is not dealing with this very well. He ended up in thehospital this week because he had gotten so weak. I went to see him and found out he had COVID. Turned around and left his room. I have had, but don;t want it gain. I talked to his charge nurse for a while because he was in AFIB. He has not had AFIB issues before, but I enlighten her on our family history. She told me they were seeing a lot of AFIB in COVID patients because they would get so weak.

He is back home now. They pumped him full of IVs and drugs and stopped the AFIB and sent him home. I needed to go see him yesterday. He is in a lot of pain because one of the tumors is near his spine pressing on some nerves. I think he is doing better than he wants everyone to think. When I talk to him he always starts off with how he is dieing and all that. I want let him awlfulize with me and he is figuring that out. Once I get him out of that mood, he picks up. But, it is not going to end well. They cooked the tumors as much as they could. He doesn’t want to do chemo because they told him the best it could do was slow them down. He doesn’t want to be sick all the time to maybe live a few more months. I agree with him, but I think I have talked him into trying at least one round to see if it makes him sick.

LIke just gets better everyday.