When my daughter was 19; a full time student in college; she got pregnant. She went to the WIC office in Daytona Beach, FL to apply for WIC for the baby only. She was denied and told that "you are the wrong color and speak the wrong language". This is what the WIC worker told her. They needn't have worried about their precious money being spent on her little one as he was still born at 6 mos. Now tell me there is nothing wrong with our system...
I sincerly hope David will be able to find the right someone, marry and provide you with the grandchildren you deserve. Soon!! adoption takes years and can be very expensive. If you won't let loose for someone to vacuum for you ( a wise investment IMHO) maybe you can help your son and his husband adopt.
I don't know if the system is bad, Alma but there is a lot of idiots employed by it. Unless we make sure idiots become unemployed idiots, it doesn't much good to blame the system. Florida musto be the only state in the Union where you have to qualify for wic. I think we still have peanut butter left from my grandaughters WIC days 8 years ago.........
I would love it if my son found someone wonderful, got married and adopted. The more babies the better. My family seems to not have any troubles getting pregnant or carrying to term but we do not seem to breed well in captivity! Both my parents and my son were only children! We do not take parenting lightly! David is only 18 and young. He is not very fond of children and verbalizes that he wants the best of everything, cars, homes, etc. He does not see where any children would fit in. But he is young and we will see what happens when he falls in love. At least being gay cuts down on accidental pregnancy.
Alma I am sorry your daughter was treated that way, it is pure ignorance. I am also sorry for her and your loss.
I am pondering a cleaning lady. Maybe I can get use to the idea. Esp if I think about the fun things I could do with the energy. Maybe I could think of it as an investment in our future!
If he thought anything different at 18, I'd be a bit concerned.
Having help saved our marriage. Even with the kids help and my rather military approach to child rearing. There is no way with 9 of them we could have kept up and still had time to be a family. The only word of advice I have for adoption is if you have a wife like me and you prefer adopting older kids or sibling groups get an unlisted phone number. Once the system gets your number the calls don't stop.
Or as the sign my wife has on the front door says: Boring women clean house...... Funny how we will drop a bundle for a few days enjoyment on vacation but won't spend the same spread across seversl months for sone enjoyment at home. Try it. ITS AMAZING how ones perspective towards life and work will change not to mention increasing your ability at work. Housework is as demanding as many jobs.
I am not working any more Lamb and I think that is the rub for me. I feel like I should be able to keep it clean by myself but I am struggling. It has gotten to the point where my husband comes home, looks around and can predict if I will be able to walk the next day. And he is not known for being perceptive though he is a cop so he does get cause and effect. Apparently quicker than I !! I need to get over my hesitations. I think my therapist is bringing it up as I have been too fatigued or sore to do my water exercises and massage. I am probably not going to get a whole lot better at this point and it is probably something I will really need in not to long. I think he is trying to get it started so it is in place when I need it more and so I have enough energy to do the work I need to do in the pool, etc.
I went into disability kicking and screaming, feeling like a useless leech living on a handout. Said that in front of my rheumy one day and got a lecture. "You worked and paid into Social Security. If you hadn't worked, you would not be eligible. There is no shame in taking advantage of the resources that are available to you. You need this." I cried, and it took a while to swallow what she said, but eventually I saw that she was right. I no longer feel any shame or hesitation about receiving benefits from a system I paid into. That said, it's not a panacea. The payments are about half what you need to actually make a go of it, and SS does everything they can to discourage you from continuing in the program. Frankly, I call SS days unmentionable words because I always come home in a funk. One guy in the Philadelphia office actually called me a parasite and said I should be working. And he had NEVER laid eyes on me! I called his supervisor. He's not there anymore. A small, albeit a mean, victory.
It took five years for me to get SS. My attorney finally appealed it to the U.S. Appellate Court in Richmond, and they remanded my case (sent it back to the judge who made the last decision) and told him to look at at again. That's when I got my award.
It's a twisted system, IMHO, that really doesn't exist to help those of us who need help. It exists to weed us out of the system. Period.
Hang in there and do not let them get you down. They will try. But, it's your health and well-being that you are fighting for. And YOU are worth it. Let them deal with their own prejudices about why people cash in their disability chips. It's a shame we get kicked around like we do, but that's the way it works.
If you contact Voc Rehab, be sure to tell them you are interested in part-time work only. If you say you are available for full-time work, you shoot yourself in the foot for disability income.
I did go to Voc Rehab, and I really did look for part-time work, which they helped me find. I am teaching college classes and it has been a blessing. I have very little time on campus and can do most of my work at home when I feel good enough to do it. It can work out. Be strong, be patient and fight like heck.
Good luck!