Today I had a BREAK-THROUGH with my husband!!!!!! For most of you who have family members who do NOT understand (like myself) you will really appreciate this!
For YEARS he has not understood that I cannot lay in one position for a long period of time or I start to hurt. Or just doing simple things, Or I often don't have enough strength in my hands or knees... Usually when I tell him that I'm in pain or that something is uncomfortable it starts what I like to call a "huffing match".. He'll huff at me, seeming agitated or ask me "if I'm an old woman" or a wimp, or exaggerator etc...
Today he was holding me and I started to hurt, when I said something.. wait for it.... He said "Okay, I understand"..AGH!!!!!!!!! BREAK-THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!
I was so excited I had to share!!!!
I truly believe it's because of all of you who share your stories, who made me realize that I am NOT crazy and that others feel the same way I do.. so
And,how long exactly did this take? I must admit my patience with my husband is wearing thin.Here is a prime example,he drove me to my last rheumi app,I was in there for 11/2 hours. I came out and got in the car and well,nothing,nada,zilch. He still has not asked me how it went,he does not know that soon I will be starting Remicade,I will not be telling unless I have to. I don’t believe he understands but I also believe he chooses to remain uneducated about PsA.
R-believer..That's cool! It's nice to have someone who understands what your dealing with.
Lindseylou...He is a guy...I have PSA and it took me 12 years to admit it! You may have a hard road ahead of you. Every once in a while throw in a conversation about how a new study on psa and fatigue...or psa and pain...or golfer Phil...eventually he'll know as much as you! You can even leave some pamphletes in the bathroom. He'll read them. Once I was so bored in the bathroom I read the back of a tampon carton!!!
Next time have him COME IN WITH YOU to the appt. If you are in there that long, he'll get a clue seeing what's involved. Before we got married my husband would come to some appts with me for moral support and I wanted him to know what he was getting in to.
Lindseylou said:
And,how long exactly did this take? I must admit my patience with my husband is wearing thin.Here is a prime example,he drove me to my last rheumi app,I was in there for 11/2 hours. I came out and got in the car and well,nothing,nada,zilch.
I agree - have your husband go to an appointment with you! Before you go ask him if he has any questions for the doctor. Write them down and either give him the list or ask on his behalf. My husband really believed that when I was in excruciating pain that I should push through it. We asked the doctor that question specifically and it was good to have the doctor tell my husband that I should take it easy when the pain is really bad. That pushing hurting joints is not a good idea. It wasn't even that my husband didn't believe me or wanted me to do more - he just wanted me to do the best for me that I could and he thought it was one thing, while I thought it was another (and I was right!).
I also email my husband links to articles I read. I am sure he doesn't read every one of them but at least the info is there if he is so inclined.
R-believer - I am glad you had a break through, although I am sad for you that it took so very long! I hope he continues to be compassionate and kind to you.
