Bad flare today, tell me a funny story

Today has been an awful day, pain wise. Really stiff ending in a huge pain spike.

So, tell me a funny story, a joke, or share a funny image. Make me smile. (And myself make someone else smile too)

Conversation with my 7 year old son.
Kid: “Mom, mom, aliens just landed in the back yard!”
Me: “Really?”
Kid: “Yes, they want $20!”
Me: “I think you have $20 in your allowance jar.”
Kid: “No, they want $20 from you”
Me: “I see” (eye roll)

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Right there with you amielynn on the bad pain day, but it’s 6.30am and smiling has woken up yet. I’ll keep shaking it though…

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A story my spider-phobic 7 year old loves (with a few bits I don’t tell her) :joy:;

So there I am in the desert, in a field camp - just me, my female field assistant, and three rough, tough drillers.

We are all staying in a shearers quarters - a century old stone building with shared kitchen area, individual roomes, and an outhouse - a separate building with a couple of shower cubicles and a toilet, built around 40 years ago. There’s no “boys” and “girls” because when it was built, there were no girl shearers out there! There were no doors on the cubicles, just a walk screening them off, so we just told each other when we were going for a shower and everyone politely did something else.

One day, I’m standing around the campfire, near the outhouse, cooking dinner, with my back to the showers, and everyone else sitting around having a drink, when suddenly I hear this scream, “Arrrrrrgh!” sounds like it’s coming from a terrified teenage girl!

Next thing, the roughest, toughest driller (Phil) comes bolting out of the showers with a towel wrapped around him, screaming and yelling about redback spiders (second most poisonous spider in Aus, but never really kills anyone anymore).

I said, “Phil, calm down, have you been bitten?”

“No, no” he’s shouting, “but there’s a bloody readback has made its f**kin web right on the side of the shower on the shelf where the shampoo and conditioner is! I put me hand on the web!”

“Oh, yeah”, I say, “that’s been there about two weeks.”

“You what???!” Says Phil. “Two f**kin weeks!! Why didn’t you tell me??! Are you mad?? You’ve got to kill it!”

He’s still shouting and rambling, and I try to explain rationally: “Phil, it’s been there for two weeks. For two weeks, I’ve been reaching around that web, picking up the shampoo and conditioner, and it hasn’t jumped out and bit me, it’s fine” (one can only assume Phil only washes his hair every two weeks or so… phew!)

“No, you’ve got to kill it!”

So the field assistant and I look at the other two tough drillers, who actually jump up from the logs they are sitting on, and shuffle away from the showers saying “I’m not going near it!”

So the two of us roll our eyes at each other, and she says, “are you going to do it, or will I?”.

So I traipsed off and got the flyspray and dispatched the poor spider. None of the drillers would set foot back in the showers until I’d actually brought the body out for them to view :joy:

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That seems like a very reasonable reaction… From that guy :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::see_no_evil::joy:

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Jen!!! So funny! You really got me to smile with that one. Men…

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Being asked for a funny story is the kiss of death for my sense of humour. Believe me, I racked my brains. All I could think of was a joke about a slab of tarmac with a yellow stripe going into a bar … not too sure how it goes except it all hangs on ‘psychopath’ and ‘cycle path’ sounding similar. And even then that’s only in some British accents, do they sound the same to an American? Do you have cycle paths in the US? You can see my problem!! Oh and then there’s the jokes that aren’t fit for such a courteous site as this & even then I can’t remember any. Oh my, what you’ve put me through!

Joking aside (obviously!), how are you doing now? I hope things have improved and the aliens have gone home now, or settled for less.

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We don’t have “cycle paths” in the US but we have tons of “psychopaths”!! Haha. If by cycle path you mean a bike lane, then no, the joke would not work.

I’m doing ok. We just got back from a trip to Colorado with lots of hiking. I am sore everywhere. so after a week of rest I will be able to judge what is going on with my body. I think I will end up adding a helper drug to the Otezla.

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Well, it’s not a funny story, but… It’s the story of how I was accepted into a pack of wolves.

So it was December of 2006. I was working selling Remodeling for a large national company. This meant traveling frequently throughout Oregon and SW Washington.
This particular week I was in Klamath Falls and if you’ve ever been there in December, you know there is a very good chance there will be snow. This particular week was no exception and there was more than a dusting on the roads. In fact on my way out there there was snow all the way from Oakland.

It was a Saturday and I had already had one appointment and made my first sale of the day to replace gutters and install gutter covers as well. It wasn’t a great deal of money but I probably made $500, which for me on a Saturday was a pretty slow day.
I had an appointment coming up at 2:00PM, that would be my last appointment for the day and then I would start my long drive home.
So far it hadn’t snowed any more that day, but as I was pulling up in front of the house the snow was starting to come down.
When I got out of my car and started to collect my things for the appointment I could hear barking, howling and a general “gnashing of teeth” as well as someone telling the, what I thought at that time were dogs, to stop and be quiet… they continued.

As I walked to the door I got about 10 feet away and I saw the storm door open and a man in his 30’s walk out carefully making sure the door closed behind him. (The sound increased significantly)
Now anyone who has done “in-home” sales will tell you the door opening before you get there is one of the worst ways to start an appointment, it usually means you aren’t getting in the door, or as we called it “Getting Porched”.

The man, who was the homeowner, asked if I was there about the remodeling and I said yes and introduced myself and braced for the porching… (mind you I took pride in the fact that this was extremely rare for me and I had my ways to handle most of these situations so I was determined that this was not going to happen.)
His reply was to tell me that I wouldn’t be able to come inside so we wouldn’t be able to have the appointment that his wife had set up, because they had NINE WOLVES living in the house.
I replied very surprised “Nine Wolves, you’ve got to be kidding me, I would love to see them. Are they all full grown?”

He was quite visibly surprised by my reaction and I got him started to talk, so I knew I was going in that door.
He explained that they had 3 adults, one male and two females and six puppies that were about 4 months old.
He was very reluctant to let me in but I continued to insist that I really wanted to meet them and I finally broke him down and he agreed that I could come in, with some instructions and my agreeing that anything that happened would be on me.

He told me that I would need to walk in very slowly, stay right behind him, make sure the door closed behind me and just stand inside the door and let them sniff me without moving, but if anything started to happen I would need to get out the door quickly.

When we walked in the door the barking howling and growling stopped like someone had flipped a switch. The younger bitch was standing on a chair to my left, the male was on a chair to my right and the alpha female was right in front of me. The rest of the pack was in various places throughout the living room and entry way, but all eyes were on me and so was their attention.
The alpha female immediately sniffed my hand, then gently licked it and moved so I could easily reach her head to pet her.

I was in!

The husband and wife were completely blown away and so were the kids. There was no more barking, there was an eerie feeling of calm and relaxation about the room.

I asked if we could sit at the kitchen table and when I sat down the alpha female put her head in my lap so I could pet her some more. Her head remained there for almost the entire 4 hours that I was in the house. The couple times that she moved away one of the other adults would come over so I could pet them as well. A few times one or two of the pups would come by to say hi.
But that alpha female was always very close as if she was protecting me from the rest and telling me that I was accepted.

I left that day with a close to $25,000 sale and the knowledge that I was now part of a new pack.

One of the coolest and most memorable days of my life.

So that is my story of the day I was accepted into a pack of wolves.

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Wow! Lucky, lucky, lucky you. Both for the whopping sale but much more for being so accepted by that alpha female. Jokes of all sorts to be had there @DrunkenBear! But just wow!

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