I had a few really good days and things were looking up. I made plans to head to my sisters cabin and visit family from out of town. Was suppose to leave this afternoon however I woke up fatigued and hurting. I really thought the MTX was working! I know the fatigue is not the MTX as I take my injection tonight. I also have pain in my shoulders, hips,elbows, hands and one toe.
I have a few questions. I don’t call my pain a flare, I haven’t had a flare now for around 6 weeks so that’s positive. For me a flare is when I can’t move,sleep or function. When the pain is intolerable and I need something to cope.
What is the definition of a flare? I’m finding more pain in all joints, this has only been since taking the MTX. Is it possible the MTX has increased the pain or is it because the PSA is progressing? I went on the MTX because I was getting worse so I’m assuming its the PsA and that scares me! I’m feeling so much guilt! Guilt for not being able to find a quick fix and get back to work on the boat, guilt for not having the energy to preform daily tasks I once did so easily, guilt for not keeping my commitments and also guilt for not being able to pretend to be not sick! The emotional part is just as bad as the pain…if not worse. I’m absolutely terrified of slowing down and not being able to function daily. I’m keeping positive however…it’s tough. Thanks for reading, thanks for allowing me to vent and thanks for all the feedback and support! This group is wonderful!
Well can't do much about guilt. Moms are experts. Couple of things, you an I think a lot a like. Pain and symptoms wax and wane. That isn't a flare. I normally don't say anything about a flare because everybody defines it a bit different. Every ache and pain so to speak is a flare for some while others hert so bad they can't breathe, and they go mow the lawn before its starts to hurt. Its honestly sounds to me like you should get to the cabin. You say you are due to shoot tonight? Sounds like your MTX is working. Its apparently time thats a good thing, it'll take a while (at least a month before your symptoms get fairly smoothed out. Remember they don't start you at you full dose, they work up, so there will be some dips.
Secondly I' bet a nickle you didn't drink all your water today OR yesterday. Its especially important as you get close to the end of your med cycle as your body wants to start making folic acid again.Acid as you recall from health class back in high school makes your body hurt. Drinking lots of water prevents it on MTX and (especially in the summer) at least 96 oz a day is required or between throwing up episodes you will feel like you ran a marathon.
I gotta go to guilt - a trip to the cabin is a great place to start training family members you will do what you can do and WILL NOT do what you can't. its summer everything is laid back and there is less need for perfection. Its not like the Hen fest at thanksgiving when everything needs to be perfect and all the sisteres and siters in law are competing at level to be the go to (not to mention what they put their kids through new clothes and even new underwear, perfect hair etc etc)
Lambs rule of life. Boring women have immaculate homes and meals that look like photographs from Goodhousekeeping Mag. No man wnats to be with a boring woman. (and neither do their kids.) Using the sheets to make forts in the living room is a lot easier than ironing them and putting away.... A perfect side dish at everymeal is Beer, especially if the main course is potatoe chips.
Thanks for making me smile Lamb :-). I’m 80% that boring house wife also the family event planner,family gathering chef and so on…I will be heading to the cabin tomorrow for the day but first want to make a pot of chilli to bring! I’ve been on the MTX for 3.5 months now, tonight’s infection will be week 6 of 25mg dose. The MTX is probably working, hence the pain at the end of the cycle. On the water front I have been packing around a water bottle but have to admit I’ve been making a big jug of iced green tea daily…does that count? The dermatologist said no alcohol or sun…:-(. The weather here has changed to rain…possibly another reason for my aches and pain? My husband would absolutely agree…beer and potato chips are the perfect side dish 
tntlamb said:
Well can’t do much about guilt. Moms are experts. Couple of things, you an I think a lot a like. Pain and symptoms wax and wane. That isn’t a flare. I normally don’t say anything about a flare because everybody defines it a bit different. Every ache and pain so to speak is a flare for some while others hert so bad they can’t breathe, and they go mow the lawn before its starts to hurt. Its honestly sounds to me like you should get to the cabin. You say you are due to shoot tonight? Sounds like your MTX is working. Its apparently time thats a good thing, it’ll take a while (at least a month before your symptoms get fairly smoothed out. Remember they don’t start you at you full dose, they work up, so there will be some dips.
Secondly I’ bet a nickle you didn’t drink all your water today OR yesterday. Its especially important as you get close to the end of your med cycle as your body wants to start making folic acid again.Acid as you recall from health class back in high school makes your body hurt. Drinking lots of water prevents it on MTX and (especially in the summer) at least 96 oz a day is required or between throwing up episodes you will feel like you ran a marathon.
I gotta go to guilt - a trip to the cabin is a great place to start training family members you will do what you can do and WILL NOT do what you can’t. its summer everything is laid back and there is less need for perfection. Its not like the Hen fest at thanksgiving when everything needs to be perfect and all the sisteres and siters in law are competing at level to be the go to (not to mention what they put their kids through new clothes and even new underwear, perfect hair etc etc)
Lambs rule of life. Boring women have immaculate homes and meals that look like photographs from Goodhousekeeping Mag. No man wnats to be with a boring woman. (and neither do their kids.) Using the sheets to make forts in the living room is a lot easier than ironing them and putting away… A perfect side dish at everymeal is Beer, especially if the main course is potatoe chips.
Taralynn, I am so sorry you are having a hard time, since I know you mentioned how good you felt for a few days. Everything you have described in regards to your physical pain and emotional well being is exactly how I feel to a T. It seems as though I started having so much more pain after starting Mtx and at my young age I worry all the time about my future. I don’t u deist and this disease at all and that is so frustrating. Here I am taking 2 NSAIDs and Mtx with no relief and wondering why do I even put myself thru the possibility of crappy side effects when I don’t feel any better? I also have no idea what a flare feels like or doesn’t. Since this whole thing started, the primary joint that sent me to the rheum is still inflamed, along with like 10 other random ones! I have no idea if the way I am feeling now is the worst I a, going to feel,or the best. Anyways, just wanted you to know that u are not alone!
Melissa
Hi Melissa :-). Another bad day for me again. I felt almost normal only a few days ago and now yikes…I’m tempted to go off the MTX and see exactly what’s going on with my body because I’m not flaring but the joint pain which on a scale of 1-10 because I’m going to start scaling this again…1 being minor I’m living daily with a 2. It’s tolerable however uncomfortable. My hips are bad today and it feels almost like my lower spine, a nerve like pain. Sitting for any time is uncomfortable so I’m moving around a lot. Then my hands, wrist shoulders are all aching. Sometimes the aches come and go in these places but daily there is a new constant pain…
Melissa said:
Taralynn, I am so sorry you are having a hard time, since I know you mentioned how good you felt for a few days. Everything you have described in regards to your physical pain and emotional well being is exactly how I feel to a T. It seems as though I started having so much more pain after starting Mtx and at my young age I worry all the time about my future. I don’t u deist and this disease at all and that is so frustrating. Here I am taking 2 NSAIDs and Mtx with no relief and wondering why do I even put myself thru the possibility of crappy side effects when I don’t feel any better? I also have no idea what a flare feels like or doesn’t. Since this whole thing started, the primary joint that sent me to the rheum is still inflamed, along with like 10 other random ones! I have no idea if the way I am feeling now is the worst I a, going to feel,or the best. Anyways, just wanted you to know that u are not alone!
Melissa
I took my MtX last night and the nausea today was bothersome. Made it to see my family for a few hours at the cabin so that was something positive. I see my doctor Thursday and will talk to him more then…could be worse so I’m keeping the faith :-). Thanks Melissa lets hope for better days <3 sending you healing thoughts <3
TaraLynn said:
Hi Melissa :-). Another bad day for me again. I felt almost normal only a few days ago and now yikes…I’m tempted to go off the MTX and see exactly what’s going on with my body because I’m not flaring but the joint pain which on a scale of 1-10 because I’m going to start scaling this again…1 being minor I’m living daily with a 2. It’s tolerable however uncomfortable. My hips are bad today and it feels almost like my lower spine, a nerve like pain. Sitting for any time is uncomfortable so I’m moving around a lot. Then my hands, wrist shoulders are all aching. Sometimes the aches come and go in these places but daily there is a new constant pain…
Melissa said:
Taralynn, I am so sorry you are having a hard time, since I know you mentioned how good you felt for a few days. Everything you have described in regards to your physical pain and emotional well being is exactly how I feel to a T. It seems as though I started having so much more pain after starting Mtx and at my young age I worry all the time about my future. I don’t u deist and this disease at all and that is so frustrating. Here I am taking 2 NSAIDs and Mtx with no relief and wondering why do I even put myself thru the possibility of crappy side effects when I don’t feel any better? I also have no idea what a flare feels like or doesn’t. Since this whole thing started, the primary joint that sent me to the rheum is still inflamed, along with like 10 other random ones! I have no idea if the way I am feeling now is the worst I a, going to feel,or the best. Anyways, just wanted you to know that u are not alone!
Melissa