Well, tonight is my MTX night. I took it less than 30 minutes ago and I am already feeling the effets of it. I am in a large amount of pain today seems to have been a seady increase over the last week. I have my normal swelling and pain in my right hand, knee, jaw and back but now the bottoms of my feet are so sore I can put barely any weight on them. I am now swelling in more locations, my right foot and ankle, my left jaw and now my left hand is very weak and really sore so I have stopped wearing my wedding set in fear that I will wake up one morning with a swollen left hand and two rings cutting off my circulation! I have started keeping an online journal (since writing isnt really possible) it seems to help but as I was reading some of the other members blogs I thought to myself maybe sharing my own personal feelings and experience on this type of forum would maybe help someone else. So I guess we can try it out and see how it goes.
I am counting down the days to my next doctors appointment, there are only 5 left now, I have been looking forward to this one for almost 2 months now because it will not only be my 3 month mark of me starting methotrexate but I will also be given a perscription for humira which at first I prayed that I wouldnt have to take but now I am praying for the day to be here when I can start using it. I am trying not to get my hopes up to high, or at all if possible, I have read so many uplifting stories about Humira being some peoples miricale drug however I have also read many stories from people that it did nothing for, so I dont want to give myself false hope.
I so despteatly want to get back to a semi-normal life, I like many of you miss being able to do everyday tasks with ease like cook, clean or play with my kids but I find that the not being able to sleep or bend over to pick something up you dropped is mentally frustrating, I am exhausted all of the time, even after I wake up I am still tired, Today as I said earlier I woke up in a large amount of pain and forced myself to walk out into the living room and sit on the sofa, just so I could feel like part of my family. I was able to help with folding some laundry and sorting through some of the kids winter clothes but I still felt completly usless.
I hope that I dont come across to anyone as a complainer just wanting to vent out loud. But I will keep updating as often as I can on my PsA experience.
Amanda