A new low

I had a new blow this morning. My own mother told me to "suck it up". Everyone has some type of arthritis. I almost lost it. Currently I am unable to move my wrist and thumbs. They are in a splint. My arms and shoulders will not raise up past the shoulders level. I feel like I am walking on two broken ankles and my knees are shot. I am unable to load or unload the dishwasher and washing machine. Standing too long hurts. Taking a shower or grocery shopping exhaust me to no end. I do not see my Rhuemy till the end of the month and then I go see another one in August. I am hoping I qualify for bio treatments. I realized there are side effects but for my family I believe I have to try them. I wish I was rich like golfer Phil. Then I would be able to have the best treatment and maybe like him I could go into remission.

Dear Rebel mom,

I am so very sorry that you are being treated this way, perhaps a book for you Mother would make her more aware of your disease and the seriousness. I am so fortunate that I have such a wonderful Mom, who is so supportive, my husband is great too, but not many others fall into that catagory. My son's back is shot and most likely from PsA, as he has the badly pitted fingernails too, he just keeps getting shot up at pain management. So my frustration is there, just in a different way with a different family member.

If you are prescribed Enbrel, through their support, you can get it FREE for 6 months, you can google Enbrel support to confirm this. I am 9 shots in with Enbrel and feel a noticable difference, a difference no other treatment has made.

I hope this helps and that your Mom comes around!

Wishing you well,


I’m so sorry. Same thing happened to me and it was horrible. Especially - its your mom. The person that you depend on for comfort and help, and it hurts to the very core. I found my condition improved with bio treatment and for the first time in years I am not in crisis all the time. A Psychologist once told me that sometimes you just have to keep repeating yourself until they hear you and that certainly applies with our condition. They may or may not hear it but you hang in there and gently keep saying it.

Its easier when friends dont understand but its hard to accept when your own family doesnt understand. My sister told me "you are only 40 and not dying". That was also a very low blow to me so I dont even talk about it any more when i'm in pain. I am glad to have found this site where we can swap stories, vent, offer supprt and advise to each other.

I hope since your Mom went with you to the Dr, and heard his comments that it will be a new start for both of you! Hope it's all good now!

I’m sorry you heard this from your mom , too. It’s never easy to hear everyone gets arthritis or something similar. ESP from mom. Maybe some reading material simply pointing out the differences btwn PsA and other diseases would help.

I read the first few sentences of this and immediately it struck me, that sounds like MY mother. I quit telling her how bad it is a while ago since 'Everybody hurts, so I should stop complaining'. My husband is the only one I can rely on or even talk to and even then I feel bad about putting all of it on him. I have swollen fingers, hip pain that makes moving difficult, neck pain, the tendons in my feet are flaring up but I never tell her how bad it is because to her it's just generalized complaining and it's not worth me getting upset over. I hope she realizes that family support is important and it is NOTHING that you can control. I have given up on my family truly being supportive but I have a few close friends, my husband and now this wonderful site.

I hope you are approved for medications soon. I'm waiting on approval for Remicade since Enbrel and Humira have failed and I refuse to be on Methotrexate (sp?) due to the high risks of birth defects. (we eventually want to start a family next year, gotta get pain a bit better first!)

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. :)


Gals, I hope your Mom's come around! So glad you have good hubs to lean on though!

I have a 39 year old son, whose back is gone! Keeps just going to pain management and getting shot up, now the back brace with the steel rods, can't get him to admit he has it, can't get him to a Rheumatologist, pitted fingernails, and DDD, and who know what else. He is in denial that he most likely has it, and it's much worse than mine!

Guess we are have someone in denial to deal with! Sometimes you can deal with it graciously and sometimes it just makes you NUTS!!

Good luck to you both, talk to you all soon!


I totally understand!! I don't think anyone in my circle understands. That is why I am sooooo grateful for you guys and this website!! My husband is the most unsympathetic of everyone. I truly hope you get some help and relief that you need. best of luck to you and remember, we are all here for you!