Yesterday I spent about an hour out in the garden pulling out some weeds. I was feeling good and felt fine to do some work outside. I’m paying for it now because my back Is killing me 
I really feel defeated because I don’t want to accept that this is normal for me now, I just want to be able to help my partner out with the yard work. I was nearly in tears last night when it started to hurt - I though oh no not this again. My partner assured me its fine and he can manage on his own and he just wants me to do light work that I can handle. But I hate having to just sit back and watch him do it as I am only 29, fairly fit and healthy other than the PsA I don’t want this to be my life… Having a down day
I am sorry Kell, we have all had days like this. Usually I know before I start an activity if it is going to be a 15 minute job or if I will last a half hour but sometimes I am still surprised. The only advise I have to give is to not give up entirely. Soak in Epsom salt, use a heating pad or Salonpas whatever gets you through the might. But do some gardening again esp if it is something you love. I did an hours worth one day but I was sitting so I thought it would be fine. I even gave my hip a few stretches as I was sitting on a warm rock which I thought would help. Big mistake, I couldn't walk the next day! So now I do it in 15 minute increments. And no stretching on hot rocks! Sometimes we can still do the things we love but with some accommodations!
Hi Kellr-
The pain being the new normal is no fun at all. After 10 or so years of this disease, with a number of them being almost completely symptom-free, I hope it helps for me to say that it is very possible you will have days where you will be able to garden for an hour w/out terrible pain later.
Something that helps me now is to pre-emptively take 1/2 a dose of pain meds and drink a bunch of water before I work outside (ESPECIALLY if it is humid outdoors). This seems to help keep a handle on the pain and allows me to enjoy the work.
Self-care is not sometime I have traditionally put first on my list -- but if I could go back to 29 and do it differently, I would.
I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you get to feeling better very soon.
Thank you Michael and Katie xox I think the thing that helps the most is coming on here and venting my frustrations to people who truly understand how I feel and who have been there themselves. I have had quite a few good, positive days in the last 3-4 weeks but I’m still trying to accept that I Have this disease since only being diagnosed in the last few months. Sometimes I don’t want to accept that I’m a different me now… But I having a very loving supportive partner who is my rock (not the kind you sat on Michael!) lol thanks again guys xox I hope you two are going ok 
You don’t want this to be your life. I hear you!
It's frustrating when we can't even meet our lowest expectations. I want to echo Katie Lady's comment about the hope that you'll get somewhere in your treatment where this won't be happening. I was using a wheelchair / crutches / canes for a couple years while figuring out what med works for me and tweaking it, and now have put all of them away and taken up hiking again (hiked 3 miles through the hills of CT on Saturday!).
The biggest thing that helped me when I was newly diagnosed was realizing that PsA was presenting me with wonderful opportunities to get to know my body better, find balance in life, and was an adventure in figuring out how to enjoy life more than I did before getting so ill. I am an overall more grateful and joyful person now - not because I'm on my own two feet, but because that's where this journey has brought me. I was just as grateful and joyful during the most painful months in my life a year ago when I was taken off all PsA meds.
Wow, that’s fantastic nym good on you! I hope can build myself up to being able to do things like that! I want to travel and work overseas, but I have to get a bit better first!
Awe Kell wishing you brighter days ahead xox I few weeks back I was feeling the same....I tried gardening and after ten minutes my hands were burning with pain, tried walking and my knees burned with pain, shoulders and neck were flaring and my hips felt like I ran a marathon. I felt guilty and felt like I was not doing my part however my husband was wonderful just like you partner. Enjoy your good days and hopefully there will be more good then bad in the near future! I'm going on my second week of better days and this is the longest stretch in months! Sending you healing thoughts xox
Hi Kell, I really do feel for you. I've had that experience so many times - gardening, going out in the boat, walking to the corner store :( The good part is that for most of us (Lamb is better with the numbers), we do find a medication that makes it substantially better, and when we combine that with some of the positive attitude Nym speaks of and gratefulness for what we can do (that takes time...or at least it did for me - laughs ruefully), it really does get better. I hope you get some good days soon, and remember to thank that supportive partner of yours and make sure he does feel he is helping you. They get so frustrated when they think they can't do anything to help - sometimes you need to do the light yard work to make HIM feel better! ;)
Thanks TaraLynn and Jen for your lovely comments I am feeling a bit better today because I took the day off work to rest my back as I couldn’t bend to reach over my patients while scanning them yesterday. I have been laying in bed with a big ice pack on my lower back which seems to have helped a lot. Still sore but haven’t had to take as much tramadol today. I know I will get back to feeling good like I was last week. It was just such a downer to be feeling so good one day and terrible the next. But I know it will get easier once I find the right medication for me. Hope everyone else is going ok
And you’re right about telling my partner I appreciate what he does for me. I told him last night how lucky I am to have him and how I couldn’t do this without him. He knows I’m not being lazy and that not helping out drives me crazy. He tells me off all the time when he sees me trying to lift something heavy lol
I really feel for you. I've had PsA since childhood, and really struggled in my 20's trying to figure out how much I could push myself without feel like a failure, and how much I could rest without feeling like a failure. I would fly high on days when I could do things, and crash when I saw all my peers running around and I hurt so much.
Hang in there. Eventually you will find a balance. Eventually you'll learn what you can push on and what you can't.
Thank you for the kind words Marietta. I’m sorry to hear you struggled in your 20s too I am trying to remain positive despite the pain