So first days back at work and

So…I started back for three, four hour days at work this past week.
I have had positive support from occupational health and safety, my manager and
my docs. I went in so happy to be able to go. I felt like the first day of school excited and a little worried if I would be ok.

What I was not prepared for was an aggressive verbal interrogation from a coworker. She was immediately
demanding to know what I could do. So I answered I am here to work and able to do my job
I am just restricted by my doc to four hours for now( a normal shift is 12hrs). Which she then said ‘well what good is that!’.
I tried to stick with I am safe to work and able to work it is just restricted by hours. She kept going on how ‘they’ ( not sure who
they is) do not know what I can do. I kept to I am able to perform my duties but am limited in hours. So that was my
first shift change. I was upset about it but figured ok we are done with this now, onward and upward.
So next day and shift chage with same person. Not only same crsp again buy this time done in front of
Other staff and patients. She was pointing her finger at me and in my face about how I was not seeing ‘their side of it’.
I said there is no side I am here to perform my duties but only for four hours. ‘well we don’t know what to do with you!’. Huh? What
do you mean what to do with me? It was horrible!!! I was so not prepared for this. This person does not
Do the staffing, has no responsiblity for staff in any way (other than herself). I am not dire what
To do to alliviate this in future. I ended up speaking to my manager after the second day as I was so upset.
I do not need extra stress this is hard enough.

As for the job I was able to work the four hours no problem. Do all tasks required and discovered
I hadn’t forgotten everything, as was my worst fear. I went home after and passed out cold for three to four hours
after each shift. But once that person was gone my shifts were awesome! I am fearful the fatigue
will keep me from achieving full time. Also, my Remicade is now every four weeks as I hit the wall at three weeks which
is now. I find the fatigue and pain seem to increase exponentially from this weekend till infusion day.
for three weeks I can lead a semi-normal life ( not sure about work ad just started back) no extra pain killers.
Then this last week I have ended up taking more pain meds and the fatigue is overwhelming. I need to talk to
My manager as I have no sick leave left but, I am not sure how this week I will be able to work as my pain is getting
worse by the min it seems.

What do I do? I feel beyond frustrated by this experience, the disease and just trying to figure this out.
I needed to vent I guess and any advice is welcome. My darling Husband, who tries to understand/get it, just said to tell her off.
Not so helpful nor something I feel would make a difference to her. She would probably take that and run
with that as her new ‘concern’ .

Also, does anyone meditate? I mean actually do it well. If so how does it
Help? I have been reading overall meditation is supposed to help stress, which can never
be a bad thing. I live way up in northern Canada and really have limited options for going somewhere
to learn this. It also, I imagine is something I could do anywhere anytime and might
help with pain.
Thank you for reading. I just feel crappy in all ways right now.

Wow, amazing how much damage one person can do, but I can totally see it. I'm still working full time, and even though I haven't had anyone approach in the way this woman has with you, I work in an overall very stressful environment where people get very "passionate" about the work they're doing and it can get pretty hairy (yelling, raised voices, pointing fingers, etc.). I take a lot of deep breaths and keep a huge supply of stress relieving and calming teas in my drawer. It's a constant struggle to try to interject and try to bring conversations to a healthy and happy place. Usually when people see I'm not jumping on the complaining bandwagon or playing in the argue game, they come around and calm down. I'm also lucky I have a single person office where I can shut the door. And if things start getting bad (when people are starting to get ugly I can feel it start to hit me in the back and knees), I will be straight up and say, "you're making me hurt, I need to go sit down by myself for a bit".

But it doesn't sound to me like you have any of those luxuries in this situation. I think your managers should have a nice little talk with this woman. I'm not sure what the laws or policies are where you are, but she may be breaking some rules (discrimination, hostile work environment, etc.). You could also take her aside, explain your condition and how stress plays into that, and ask for her assistance to help you keep as stress free as possible. Maybe if she feels like she's helping as a valued member of the team, she'd have a different attitude?

Well done for going back. You should be proud of yourself. It does get easier as your body adjusts.

I can't imagine your position with this other person (she sounds horrible) then ask for 10 minutes with her (and your manager present) and ask her for her concerns. If she has to articulate them then it may clear the air. If not, at least your manager is aware. Telling her off won't help so you need so try and be conciliatory (and having the moral highground is always satisfying!!).

I agree with GwennethP. A person who is that hostil is not going to really hear what you say if you act aggressively.

As for meditating, I visualize. It does take time to get comfortable with it. Here is what I do

I sit in a comfortable chair in a darkened room with my feet up. I put a light blanket over me to keep out any chill. I also have a fan or some other “white noise” in the room to block out other distractions.

I close my eyes and take a couple of really deep breaths as I relax what ever I feel is tense. I do this by tightening the muscles for a few seconds and then quickly releasing the tension.

My mind begins to think of my favorite place to be. For me it is in the mountains of western Colorado, in the summer sitting under some trees looking out at a small stream and a pasture full of wild flowers. The more specific you can imagine it the better. I look around at the grass moving in the wind, the beautiful blue sky with a few clouds moving slowly across, the water glistening as the sun reflects on it, the snow that is still on the moutains above me. I can hear the dragonflies and other insects and feel the breeze on my face. I push all other thoughts out and just concentrate on being in the meadow in Colorado.

I do this at least once per day. Sometimes I fall asleep, sometimes I am not as successful at relaxing, but I just try again the next day. Having this in my head is also helpful in other stressful situations. When I am in pain or someone is stressing me out, I can think of this and calm starts to happen. I am not perfect at it, but it does help me. I know that if I have to get infusions that my dr. is talking about me needing, I will use this method to get through the process.

Hi- I meditate and it is wonderful for my health and sanity.

I use transcendental meditation. Here are the basics. Try for 20 minutes, morning and afternoon.

First - sit quietly with your eyes closed for a minute. Then start to mentally repeat a mantra in your head. A sound with no meaning like OM.

Pretty soon - your mind will start thinking about other stuff. When you realize it -gently turn back to your mantra. Don’t feel bad or push away the thoughts, each thought is a sign of deep stress being removed.

After 20 minutes - lie down and rest for at least 3-4 minutes or longer. Then off you go!

Meditation changed my life

I have noticed a difference since *trying to* meditate. I'm not as committed as RB but I do try and I feel a calmer person inside. I'm usually a real Type A person (sorry if that is just a UK thing - means someone who is driven and always on the go) which causes stress and then a flare up/burn out. Meditation has really helped manage that and calm me down.