Just wondering if anyone else finds comfort in food. I can tell when my husband is having a hard time because he will triple his food intake. It concerns me because he has gained over 100 pounds this year and I know that extra weight makes his arthritis worse. I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to hurt his feelings and I will love him no matter how much he weighs but it scares me because of his health. I’m not sure if I am better off pretending I don’t notice or if I should say something to him… He has previously gone through weight loss surgery and eats when he’s feeling down. With his new hip problems that’s becoming more and more frequent. I am an athletic person and workout daily. I feel like this disease had taken that away from us as he is no longer able to engage those activities with me. It is like he has lost motivation to want to take care of himself at all… Is it common to mask your pain in food?
I have lost weight with PsA. The methotrexate has taken my appetite away and food tastes differently. I also eat less due to pain. I can understand your fears and yes extra weight does stress joints that are all ready stressed. I would approach the subject in a gentle and sensitive way. Perhaps offering to work out in a pool with him. Maybe also treat him to a massage now and then as a prize when he works out in the pool! Good luck and I will send up a prayer for you and your very lucky man.
I think food is an easy comfort and know I’ve used this as an emotional crutch many times, you feel bad and so get an instant ‘cuddle’ from the food you crave…usually starchy or sugary foods. Then you feel bad about eating crap and eat more to feel better again…“because a little more won’t hurt and you’ll be good tomorrow” Its easy to stop valueing yourself with this disease , you just don’t feel you’re worth it anymore.
Since I’ve cut right down on carbs and cut out wheat completely I don’t crave those foods anymore, don’t get me wrong I still have the odd chocolate bar but I don’t ‘need’ more all the time. I’ve also excepted that its not my fault I can’t do the things I used to. I try to feel good about myself too
Here's the thing. . . He knows that he's put on weight. I'm wondering if support would work, such as Overeaters Anonymous or something like that. You can also have a chat with his doctor before his next appointment. I don't know why doctors go through the whole rigamarole of weighing us, yet won't say anything about obvious weight gains. If it comes from his doctor, it may be easier (less emotional) for him to hear.
You said he had weight loss surgery. . . Isn't counseling part of this? Might it make sense for him to see a counselor?
And as to your question of is it common to mask your pain in food? Absolutely! Different people have different ways of dealing with things, but food is common. Is it possible he is depressed as well, and needs to be seen for this?
Weight gain is a side effect of many of our meds…depression meds can cause it for some (SSRI’s like Celexa), prednisone can cause rapid weight gain and uncontrollable cravings for food, I had no trouble with weight gain on TNF blockers but on Simponi I’ve put on 2-3 lbs / mo. without changing anything.
I’d suggest treating his main problems first: sounds like he’s pretty depressed. Weight gain / loss is a symptom of other issues. Treating that won’t help much until his disease and pain is under control, and his depression is under control.
Even thin people self-medicate with food. It’s not something exclusive to people with a high BMI. I was thin most of my life and ate whatever. Now I’ve put on 50 lbs due to meds. I eat way better and exercise. The goal is health…at any size. And right now your hubby sounds to be in crisis and it is not a good time to bring up exercise. He probably feels terrible and it will make him feel worse.
You would think that counseling would be a part of the surgery but it is not. He had to have an evaluation before I think from what he has told me but we were not married at that time. We got married while he was at the end of the rapid weight loss phase and his arthritis was in remission. 5 years later and a lot has changed. The last thing I want to do is make him feel worse and yes I wish his doctor would say something. I just feel like I am just watching a downward spiral instead of doing something to help him. I am going to have a talk with him tonight just to let him know I’m here if he needs me…
Stoney said:
Here’s the thing. . . He knows that he’s put on weight. I’m wondering if support would work, such as Overeaters Anonymous or something like that. You can also have a chat with his doctor before his next appointment. I don’t know why doctors go through the whole rigamarole of weighing us, yet won’t say anything about obvious weight gains. If it comes from his doctor, it may be easier (less emotional) for him to hear.
You said he had weight loss surgery. . . Isn’t counseling part of this? Might it make sense for him to see a counselor?
And as to your question of is it common to mask your pain in food? Absolutely! Different people have different ways of dealing with things, but food is common. Is it possible he is depressed as well, and needs to be seen for this?
Counseling normally is a part of the process as the "surgery" can easily be undone not to mention some very SERIOUS side effects. His stomach even stretched is about the size of a walnut.
But more importantly understand uncontrolled pain demands a lot of fuel, his high calorie consumption is not just "mental" The glands that deal with "pain" require that fuel. but if its the wrong kind( ie carbs as opposed to protein,) the unused portion goes to "fat" because of the stimulation of the glycemic index etc etc (its a lot more complicated than that) Lets just leave it that the man is in a LOT more pain than he is letting on. Add that to his inability to get up and move it becomes a vicious circle.
He needs to talk to his bariatric people but more importantly he needs to get into pain management - the right kind. I don't mean the pill pushers and shoot up guys but rather the ones who can help him understand (and control ) the pain processes.
The weight gain comes from calories BUT his need for calories is not necessarily a coping mechanism, mental weakness etc etc. It most likley IS a part of the disease process..
BUT, (with me there is always a but) a reason is NOT an excuse. We can ALL exercise. It might only be sitting in a chair and flapping one arm up and down but its something.... If there is ANY part NO MATTER HOW SMALL of this disease we can take control of. WE MUST do it......
I just have to say that I never thought of it that way and you are rather awesome… Thanks
tntlamb said:
Counseling normally is a part of the process as the “surgery” can easily be undone not to mention some very SERIOUS side effects. His stomach even stretched is about the size of a walnut.
But more importantly understand uncontrolled pain demands a lot of fuel, his high calorie consumption is not just “mental” The glands that deal with “pain” require that fuel. but if its the wrong kind( ie carbs as opposed to protein,) the unused portion goes to “fat” because of the stimulation of the glycemic index etc etc (its a lot more complicated than that) Lets just leave it that the man is in a LOT more pain than he is letting on. Add that to his inability to get up and move it becomes a vicious circle.
He needs to talk to his bariatric people but more importantly he needs to get into pain management - the right kind. I don’t mean the pill pushers and shoot up guys but rather the ones who can help him understand (and control ) the pain processes.
The weight gain comes from calories BUT his need for calories is not necessarily a coping mechanism, mental weakness etc etc. It most likley IS a part of the disease process…
BUT, (with me there is always a but) a reason is NOT an excuse. We can ALL exercise. It might only be sitting in a chair and flapping one arm up and down but its something… If there is ANY part NO MATTER HOW SMALL of this disease we can take control of. WE MUST do it…