Day three of no nightshade veggies and I awoke to no pain and just a bit of stiffness this morning!! Yay!! However when I checked my facebook, I found out a few things that brought on some anxiety. Of course it is nothing that I have any control over and there is nothing I can do to help the situation. I hate having that helpless feeling. In some ways, I guess I should thank stress because if it wasn't for stress, I wouldn't have gotten my huge flare last summer and the doctors would still be thinking I was a hypochondriac and I would be questioning my sanity. In some strange cosmic way, I owe my diagnosis to stress.
I have always told people to 'let go and let God' but when it is time for me to follow this same advice, I have trouble following it. I have learned to hope for the best but prepare for the worst - my Mom has told me this for as long as I can remember. Last night when I was talking to my Mom on the phone she retracted her lifelong belief and changed the phrase. She knows me sooo well. She knows I would do the prepare part and then over analyze myself and dwell on it. With everything we are dealing with right now, with my sisters illness and chemotherapy, she dropped off the end section so now her saying is just 'hope for the best' or even 'pray for the best'. In other words, focus on the best and do not dwell on the worst which is what I sometimes end up doing. She is a very strong woman who has lived through more trials than anyone I know. I hope that I inherited that strength and her faith in God. She has been through the death of her husband, her child, her parents, and extreme life changes that would hinder a normal person but she has made it through with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.
This blog has become a way for me to keep track of things but also to start my day on a positive note. I think the hardest part of dealing with this disease is keeping a positive outlook and not allowing myself to slip into depression. I know that is easier said than done but I need to do this for me and I need to keep my outlook positive.