Having the flu for a month gives you a lot of time to think especially about something that happened the first time of the twice you were in the hospital in one week.
One of the nurses asked me what I did and I said I was a criminal defense lawyer working as a public defender. She asked if I liked my job. I said I loved my job but I realized as I told her that the stupidity/management were beginning to have an impact on how much I do. As a colleague said, doing a job which sucks your soul on a good day but also has soul sucking components like stupid management has to begin to take more than you have to give. And you just get done. He’s absolutely right.
Anyway, long story short, Paul and I talked on February 4. I’ve made an appointment with our Retirement people in order to start planning my retirement sometime late this year or early next. The look on his face (relief?) when I told him what I was thinking told me I was on the right track. Then when I told my close colleague, who when we were talking said he could see and hear how very at peace I am with going out on my terms, just reinforced that. Everybody I’ve told (private Facebook group, three retirees who are friends, all sworn to secrecy) have all said my health would improve (and it will) with less stress.
I’d like to do some adjunct teaching so I’ll look into that. I realize 9-18 months is a bit of time but I’m beginning to think about “last times” of doing things, including doing a presentation at my agency’s annual get-together.
Not that I’ve ddone it all, but I’ve done a lot: only death penalty work for 15 years, appeals work for 16 years by the time I retire, management for almost ten, trial work. I don’t have anything else to prove, other than to leave doing the kind of work I want to do.
The other thing which tells me I’m on the right track is that the weight on my shoulders is less than it was.