Help I am so

I am to have a total thyroidectomy in 10 days and am so overwhelmed. My PsA
Is weird and nuts. My stiffness is less but the pain has doubled in the last month
Or so. I am taking morphine and it could be smarties for all it seems to do. Why is my pain so
Much worse but the stiffness better?? People keep telling me how great I look
Meanwhile I am barely hanging on. I am so tired, sore and fed up. I asked fir a little help with
Painting my sons room and my husband said oh you do not need help we can do it.
Problem is I can not right now and he does not seem to get it. People figure if I am up and dressed and out
Of the house all must be well. No one seems to get that if I do not get up and out of house
My mental state goes nuts. I am off work right now and everybody is saying oh great
You can get ABC done now. Or asking me to volunteer for XYZ. When I say no I can not
Right now I am treated like a slacker and shunned to an extent. I just want to feel better but also to
Not have to deal with all this. I am not sleeping well. I havd an appt with my Doc next week. I am not even sure what
To tell him anymore. Can you just say the pain is worse by double and life feels pretty sucky? What do I sat
How do I get better? How do I live not just exist with all this? I am trying massage, aromatherapy, visualization, dietary changes etc
To try to deal with/cope with the pain and it helps for a short bit but not for long.
I am so overwhelmed/overstressed. Help? Suggestions? Guidance/advice?

Hi Kristen. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Surgery on top of it all definitely rolls it over the top. If possible, a good solid open conversation with your husband may help, possibly he could go to the Dr. with you. He could ask questions and get a better understanding on what is happening with you.

As for others opinions and expectations, I've worked hard at learning not to care what other people think about my ability to do or not do things. I feel if they don't bother to try to understand or to trust my judgement on my physical health on any given day, I can't be bothered to try and make them understand. I know this is easier said than done and I still struggle with it but I refuse to use what little energy I have trying to make people listen who aren't interested in anything besides their own agendas. You know what you can do and what you can't. We have to plan out how we use whatever energy we have, can't waste it :)

My advice for when you go to the Dr. - yes! say life feels pretty sucky and take a print out of this post with you for s/he to read. I'm not kidding either. One of my dr's told me once, I can't help you fix what I don't know about. I hope something in all of this helps and that you feel underwhelmed very soon :)

Hi Kirsten,

I am also sorry that you are suffering badly as the moment. I agree with everything MB has said - especially the bit about having an open and frank discussion with your husband.

I too have suffered with the pian and no stiffness. I have had really low inflammation counts in my blood tests and still been in pain. I can only suggest that you talk to you doctor as MB said.

As to the stress - somebody once told me that the body cannot be both stressed and relaxed at the same time, it is just not possible. So I start with ten slow deep breaths, then I try to so something just for me. But it taking the time to do my nails, of even just sitting down and having a nice cup of tea. I find chamomile tea is very soothing when I am stressed. I know it is not easy.

Please accept an electronic hug. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Kirsten,

So sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. MB and Louise are right, and I love the idea of bringing in a copy of what you said here! I think it would really drive home how you’re feeling.

I completely sympathize with you about leaving the house for mental health. I’ve gotten extremely good at applying makeup and covering up dark circles and the weird blotchiness, and I do it for me. But when friends and family see me, it’s “Well you’re feeling fine today!” Ha! No clue. I am unable to work right now too and a ‘friend’ (I use that term loosely) made the comment “so you’re just having a blast living off your boy toy’s money?”

One thing I do when I get in overwhelming pain that can’t be stopped, I wrap myself tightly in a heating blanket. I think there is something almost womblike about being bundled, and it calms me down, keeps me from panicking from the pain. This will often just make me fall asleep then. Also, I have soft eye packs that I keep in the freezer, and I’ll put them over my eyes to help me relax. Just the act of shutting out the world sometimes helps tune down the pain.

Hang in there, we’re here for you.