Getting anxious

After 2 years of waiting my atty has told me that I have a hearing date with SSDI for the end of this month. I have not heard from SSDI yet, of course, however, the atty told me it is in Jacksonville which is a 2.5 hour drive from here and the time of the hearing is 9am. I am stressing already about having to drive up there and wish they would do a video like some other ppl I know here locally had. Also, I am really really hoping that I get a positive outcome. I really need the income of course, but most of all my DH worries that if something happens to him, I won't be able to make it. He is not in the best of health and we are living off of his SS since I stopped working. I can't share my concerns with him often because then he sits and worries and that is not good on his bad heart. So I carry the worry and stress of this myself.

As I sit here today, after all of the rain and fronts that have come through, feeling like a mack truck has taken aim at me...I know that I could never make it if I have to try to work again...I am only 56 so not old enough for regular SS.

I feel really bad for worrying about all of this, especially when I think about those I know who are going through so much worse. So I start feeling guilty at that point.

I guess the whole problem is I am having a "dumps day". (You know when you feel down in the dumps)

I don't expect any responses to this blog, I really am just using this as a venting journal today.

Tomorrow will bring new thoughts I am sure...

If you are at all able to get a motel room the evening before your hearing. My son had to be interviewed at the Italian Consulate prior to his semester abroad in Italy. That is 5 hour from us. I got us a motel room and we even did a drive by the night before. I gave us 2 1/2 hours to get there by 8:30 in the morning. It was only 10 minutes away but I was adjusting for rush hour traffic and the interview could not be rescheduled. If the student misses their assigned time they do not get to go to Italy. Needless to say we got there 2 hours ahead of our appointment and had coffee on their steps. The appointment went well. He had all of his paperwork in triplicate! The only trouble they gave him was over his mother being named Michael. I had had all the paperwork done up correctly ( I had to have a notarized letter from my bank showing my balances that were saved for his school and ticket home) but they just didn't believe him and I had not been allowed in the building. He was ready to ask if he could go out and get me as they were glaring at him. But finally they stamped his passport and sent him on his way. Needless to say I was really glad I had rented a room to take some of the stress off of him. Then I took him to Faneuil Hall and Boylston Street!

Michael, I think we will have to do a motel room. I would be afraid of not making it on time otherwise. Unfortunately that also means I have to pay to board our dog too. Guess that just goes along with it .

Glad your son was he in Italy now?

He was there Aug to Dec. He got back just in time for Christmas, a wonderful gift for his Mom! Next year spring semester he will be in Africa. He loves to travel and I had gotten him to Europe and China while still in high school on educational tours. He will be interning with a minister over the summer, he is thinking about the seminary after he graduates. Or Green Peace or Red Cross or diplomacy...... It's great to be young and the whole world is open to you!

Good luck on your hearing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am glad you are getting a motel room. It will take a lot of stress off.