I’m experiencing a severe flare. So far my derm has treated me but now I’m seeing a rheum tomorrow. For a week I’ve barely been able to move. Walking is hard. Typing this will take forever. I finally gave in & used a hiking pole as a cane & that’s how I’ve been getting around. I’m embarrassed to use it, especially to take it to my appt tomorrow. I fear the dr will make false judgements. Is this normal? I truly need a walker or crutches as both sides are bad, but one Achilles is worse. I’m so frustrated & want my life back. I’m extremely nervous about tomorrow’s appt. I don’t want I be dismissed. 
any advice?
It sounds like seeing a rheumy is a good decision, and it's good that you'll be able to get in to see one so soon. I sometimes wonder about the doctor making judgements as well. When the achilles tendons are bad, it is SO tough. Both of mine were severely impacted last year. You may want to ask if physical therapy would be helpful as well, as this helped me over the worst of it last year. Clearly you may need to have your medication adjusted, in order to get things under better control.
Don't be embarrassed to use the walking stick. Having come up lame a few times last year, for brief periods due to severe tendonitis, I get it. If it helps take the pressure off of your joints, then so be it.
I always write down any questions or observations I have, I'm very bad at remembering everything I want to bring up especially if I'm nervous and having some idea what I want to say helps me a lot.
If you need to use a walking aid then do, the doc needs to see how you have to cope with things
Good luck Geeksrx, let us know how you get on :)
You can not resolve a fear when you don't know what the probable outcome will be. We can only cope and deal with what we do know not the unknown. Fear is an emotion that should be used when we are in real danger to help us decide when to fight or flight.
Your Rheum will make judgements about your condition that is part of his job, he is not there to judge you about your pain levels or what you can or cannot do because of your PSA only you know and live with that. Your Rheum should take into consideration other factors like your blood test results, inflammation, and loss of movement in your joints.
The feeling of being dismissed may not happen and if it does it generally means that this is more your perception than that of your Rhuemy.
I have felt this way and I felt like I wasn't being listened to until I realized that the Rhuemy based my treatment mainly on my blood tests and what I said was of little relevance. He wasn't dismissing my PSA. It is the treatment that was important. Some specialists don't have the time, nor do they want to focus on the aches and pains all day long, they can't feel your pain and they probably have heard it all before, it does not mean their treatment management is any less just their bedside manner and remember he is not at your bedside so don't expect him to behave that way.
If you need aids use them, know one looks down on you for this. Embarrassment relates to shame, and shame indicates fault. It is not your fault you have PSA. it is far better to use an aid than to lose your independence and having to get someone else to do things for you.
We all want our lives back the way they once were. This may not be possible or realistic. Coming to terms with this disease is not easy but it is far better once we do as it settles that ongoing battle inside of us. Get help from a counselor / therapist if you are having trouble coming to terms with this disease. Until you do come to terms with PSA you will get stuck where you are and it will become more frustrating and you won't be able to move on with this very different life you now have. Frustration causes stress and stress makes PSA worse.
I do hope that my efforts of explanation help you to understand how our emotions interact with our bodies and our perceptions and thinking.
Well said Bella! Thanks