I wish my friends would hang out with me. I think they don’t invite me anywhere because I usually don’t end up feeling good enough to leave my house and declining the invitation when the do (yes they occasionally invite me to hang out with them outside of school) Sometimes Ido feel fine but I usually get invited places when I feel sick and awful not when I actually feel ok. /: I don’t know I just feel alone and sometimes left out? I don’t think they like me much… either that or they are upset that I can't always make it places so they feel its easer not to invite me. It seems like ever since I got PsA I've been having fewer and fewer things in common with my friends and that they are all just kind of disappearing.
It is really tough when this happens. I got upset by a friends comments to me and decided to sit down and write in a letter about the PsA so that I could give a copy to my friends who didn't understand how I could feel so unwell so much of the time. Here is a link to the blog where I posted it on here. If anything in here is helpful you are welcome to use it to describe to your friends how you feel.
The spoon theory may be helpful to you. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
Also, if you're having a good day, invite yourself along. Don't just wait to be invited. They're your friends still, they just don't understand what you're going through. Remember, it's all really new to you too.
hi! remember that book I told you about, How To Be Sick, well there's a whole section in there about this very thing!!
Thank you all for the feedback. Jules, thank you for the letter idea. I think I might do something like that. I do think that things will get a little easer once I leave my small school and meet new people. Who knows maybe some will actually understand?
Stoney, I've actually heard of the spoon theory! I just recently saw people talking about it and decided to look it up. I should, It just seems like I would be intruding on their plans almost?
Janeatiu, Thats great! I guess its a common feeling then.
Sybil, I believe it can be both parties fault. I know that I sometimes shut them out because I feel that they wouldn't want to deal with it.
Once I get it on my computer I will blog about the good parts. (Watch the whole book will be the good part haha)
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. When you do feel good enough to go out, see if any of your friends are available and suggest things to do that you know you're able to do. If I go to a mall, I make sure I know where all the benches are to sit and take breaks. I have 1 very unsympathetic friend who doesn't understand this. I have had some 'dates' find out and run for the hills. I've had to decline outings with friends as I know I can't keep up and then you feel worse. Just wanted to let you know I feel for you, and understand.
Meri, I have been trying to get out of the house and see if I can spend time with my friends, I actually haven't thought about finding places that have benches easily accessible because I never really had to pay attention to where and what store had them before. It is hard when people don't even try to understand. There are people like that at school who look at you and think "well I can't see anything obviously wrong with you, you must not be hurting or sick, you must be lazy." I think there will always be those people.
I'm happy that there are people who understand what it's like because it does get hard. Thank you for your reply.