I’m a very open person. My kids laugh at me because I’m always explaining myself…to the waitress, shop assistant etc. about anything…why I’m buying something etc. Now I find myself in a dilemma. Do I tell people (i.e. relative strangers)that I have arthritis and that’s why I can’t…sit for long, stand for long, shake hands, walk fast… whatever is the thing of the moment? Or do I just do what I can and not mention it.? I look well and I don’t have any outer signs but sometimes I’m in situations that I feel the need to explain. It happened today at my fitness class. We finished the class with floor exercises and one of the girls offered me her hand when she saw I was still sitting when everyone else had got up. My hand hurt today so I explained that I have arthritis and my hand hurts. We had a conversation after class and she said maybe I shouldn’t tell everyone because I look fine and I shouldn’t have to explain myself. What do you guys do?
I usually just say I’ve an inflammatory arthritis when needed. Like you I’m pretty open so when I catch someone looking at me quizically because I’m not doing x or y, I usually just explain. I’d rather do that than have the quizical looks.
It varies for me,I will try to explain if someone needs help with something that I might be slow at it or might not be able to do it at all.
I find that a lot of people do not seem to understand the term psoriatic arthritis until I say that it is kinda like rheumatoid arthritis.
Even then sometimes they look at me funny 
Good to hear you do say something. I don’t expect to go into a whole conversation about what I have but I don’t feel myself if I didn’t explain. On the other hand I don’t want to appear that I’m complaining or asking for sympathy.
no i dont go there with it.Its my personal little hell.Its taken me months to get a basic idea of what PsA is about, so i dont expect people to understand,im a loner anyway so dont have anyone close enough to me to notice the bad times.At work im just the old fella with arthritis.
I mention it when it’s appropriate, if that makes sense. If I’m wearing a brace or recovering from surgery it becomes visible. Then I’ll explain that I have an autoimmune arthritis that is behind it. When it’s not visible, there’s less reason to bring it up.
People don’t seem to know what PsA is, so I’ve only told a couple people outside of immediate family and all of you. Like you, yael, I look fine and people wouldn’t think I’m sick. They probably think it’s odd I walk slow with a limp, but I act nonchalant about it. I’m just now realizing how bad my feet have gotten in the last three years…it’ll be three years ago in October I danced up a storm at our daughter’s wedding–now I wouldn’t be able to dance for one minute…that’s depressing. 
Oh Grandma_J, how frustrating about your feet.I bet you could dance up a storm though by wiggling other parts of your body:wink: Seriously though, I have become much more aware of the good parts of my body since I was diagnosed. When I hear catchy music I just have to dance…but sometimes it’s just with my head and shoulders!
I limp because my left foot has been a mess all year, and then I also do infusions so I have to explain some. My supervisor at work knows what’s going on, and I’ve had to put in for accommodations at work (because they went to a work station setup that was not feasible for my condition - everyone sits on tall drafting chairs or stands at a counter height desk, maybe a little higher). I suppose it’s partly more obvious that I’m not healthy because I’m so young and my PsA seems to be fairly aggressive.
But because people have no idea what PsA is I usually say something along the lines of “I have an autoimmune condition or inflammatory arthritis”. People I’m closer to get more of the story and I try to be fairly open about it on social media - I think of it as trying to spread a little awareness. But I always try to do it in a way that’s not seeking sympathy, just being honest about my own struggles and successes, if that makes sense.
In my opinion the lady who told you you shouldn’t say anything should be the one to keep her mouth shut. But I’ve started to lose patience with that sort 
like I get the intention was that you shouldn’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want, but I think you’re probably competent at deciding what you want to share and don’t.
Yael, for me it depends on the situation, the other people, and OK, my mood. Usually I try to avoid the “arthritis” word because you know … they have that in their little toe and it has ruined their golf swing. Or have I tried parsley and garlic smoothies? Or or or When I’ve got my wits about me (not often) I’ll say I have Psoriatic Arthropathy, or Psoriatic Disease, or “a rare disease kind of like Rheumatoid” (with no a-word).
Lately, I’ve tried another line, and I’ll often say it quite loudly, for the benefit of bystanders. “Yeah, for years I told the doctor that there was something wrong with me. She didn’t believe me until the joints in my feet got wrecked.” Whoa! Does that one bring on the empathy! Nobody asks whether I’ve tried the latest magic supplement. Usually people will say something like “Oh no, I’m so sorry. Can I help you with those bags?” But occasionally someone latches on and I get to hear about them and their doctor. 
But hey, it’s interesting. Everything about this disease is way too interesting, don’t you think?
OMG, yes! That happened to me when I told my supervisor at work. People have no clue the difference between OA and PsA!
@Grandma_J, you are right about people not understanding the difference between OA and PsA… I suppose the same could be said for OA and RA too (etc, etc)… Hmmm… I didn’t understand the difference myself until it PsA was suggested and I did some serious Dr Google haha… I’d still be reluctant to say I have a full understanding of PsA, especially for those of you with advanced PsA/serious damage from it etc… I suppose we don’t really look into in these things until we, or someone we care about, are suffering and diagnosed with it… many seem to have lived with it for years before getting a diagnosis and starting to try to understand it all.
Yes, it can definitely be frustrating trying to explain to the uninitiated, over and over again lol… I guess whether I say something or not depends entirely on the situation/person am I talking to and whether they need to know or not… I would say it is entirely a personal choice thing, but it is always good to get an awareness out there too, as this might point someone else to getting their own, or someone they know, looking further into their joint and skin problems and getting started on the path to relief.
I tell them I have a autoimmune disease.
I think it’s all down to personal preference to be honest. I’ve always been open about my bipolar, despite problems that brought me at work at one or two points, and so admitting to arthritis is not a problem for me really. But i don’t wear it as a badge on my forehead either, because some people don’t need to know why you’re in a scooter or walking like Quasimodo. But if I swear at someone for shaking my hand to tightly, then I normally explain! But I generally the “psoriatic” bit out, as nobody’s heard of it, and then you have to explain to, and it all gets too much of an effort.
Haha, I’m always squeamish about shaking hands with men because once in church a man grasped my hand so tight I yelled out loud! And that was before I was diagnosed with PsA!
Now I hesitate and they look at me like they think I’m afraid their hand has germs or something! So then I do a wimpy handshake, which might as well not even occur because wimpy handshakes are pointless, too! Maybe we should salute or give them a thumbs up or something–LOL!
Just do a fist bump! You put out your fist, thumb up and say “fist bump!” 
Thumbs up would be my preference, Did the fist bump…once,that woke up the pain in my hand
I dread handshakes now and being a guy it seems like everyone wants to give you the power handshake.
It occurs to me that I don’t know all the ins & outs of all the many ailments and long-term conditions my friends and family have. Sometimes I try to concentrate extra hard if they do talk about them but I find my attention wanders.
Main thing I’m interested in given my own situation is whether there’s more that can be done to help them in terms of treatment (I’m great at urging people to ‘be proactive’, not always quite so great at following my own advice). But also if I’m spending a bit of time with people who have health issues I try to make them feel okay about modifying activities or asking for things in my house. If someone’s coming to stay I always have the bed made up ready for them so they can nap if they want and I give some thought to seating if that seems to be an issue. I’ve had the edifying experience of staying with folks who seem to enjoy living in sub-zero temperatures or who loll on the sofa leaving me on half-empty floor cushion etc. etc.!
I suppose what I’m saying is that I now make some effort to convey to others what I can and cannot endure! The finer details of psoriatic arthritis seem less important and anyway people don’t listen to all that.
I do, it’s not simple and a medical description from hospital describing deficiencies and medications helped at work. A colleague was diagnosed with the same disease a year back so I tend to say I have the same as so and so. At home it is less easy, but medical care, reading up on the disease and yes even this blog which allows for sharing experiences and advice are all a great help
We had a meeting today to discuss our holiday vacation plans and I had to mention I have a dermatologist appointment and a rheumatologist appointment next Tuesday. They looked at me funny so I blurted out I’m having a complete skin exam because I found a little bump above my knee. And then I said well, I have some psoriasis, too, even though I’m on Enbrel. They seemed uninterested so I didn’t even need to explain about the rheumy appointment.