Has having PsA made you more cautious about .... well, anything?
We've got a big decision to make. We live in a beautiful part of the country amidst rolling hills and all that. The air is clean, it's very quiet ... too quiet for us, that's the truth.
Yesterday we went to have a look at an area of a big city that has much to recommend it. We could easily see ourselves living there and it is only a couple of hours away from my rheumatologist, which is the bottom line.
But I'm assailed by 'what ifs?' I am not all that familiar with this way of thinking, most of my life I've jumped in feet first. A lot of the what ifs are to do with PsA. What if I get worse? Would the bustling city make me feel like even more of a lame duck than I do already? Would the whole process of moving house just plain kill me stone dead? (Probably not, I might be exaggerating just a tad there.)
I don't want PsA to hold me back. I do not want to be too careful. But I have to be 'sensible' to keep well because I've learned that PsA can be a right diva if Iife gets stressful. How do you tread that thin line?
For me, it's the exact opposite! I rarely jump in feet first and always proceed with caution haha!! I don't think it's wrong or abnormal to be thinking about the what ifs. I should think that a move from one way of life to a completely different environment would be a major thing! We live in the country. We have neighbors, but we keep to ourselves. I love this place, and I never thought I'd say it, but the older I get the less I can contemplate moving out of here. I like everything to stay the same. Dave would move to a retirement community in a heartbeat. He hates taking care of the yard, etc. But I'm pretty sure I'd get depressed if I left the place I helped build--my dad and Dave's dad did the main construction, and we raised our four kids here--grandkids love it here, too. On top of all that, the physical stress of moving--I can't imagine all the work!
If you do go ahead and move after considering all the pros and cons, please be very careful with the lifting and carrying! I know, after wrecking my feet from just making hundreds of trips up and down our basement steps to store x-mas stuff, my body is more delicate than it used to be. And my back is always on the verge of something not fun. Maybe you're not quite as delicate as me yet (I have a couple years up on you) but, even just a few years ago I never would have thought my body would get so wimpy like it has!!!!
It must be lovely living somewhere you feel a real connection to. I like it well enough where we are, but it would make a lot of sense to move back to town, for both of us, in all sorts of ways. And we're pretty sure we'd enjoy it. It's just about loss of security. Not everything comes down to PsA but this place has been a port in a storm in recent years and I don't know if I'm up to the usual stormy seas you encounter when moving, not only do I lack the level of fitness I once had but I don't have the earning capacity that can act as a buffer either.
You are right, as ever, about the physical challenges of packing up. I'm definitely taking your advice on that score. Though we don't have a lot of stuff compared to many people I know. We've jettisoned quite a few belongings over the years and we've been wavering for years too. There's got to be a decision at some point.
Grandma J said:
For me, it's the exact opposite! I rarely jump in feet first and always proceed with caution haha!! I don't think it's wrong or abnormal to be thinking about the what ifs. I should think that a move from one way of life to a completely different environment would be a major thing! We live in the country. We have neighbors, but we keep to ourselves. I love this place, and I never thought I'd say it, but the older I get the less I can contemplate moving out of here. I like everything to stay the same. Dave would move to a retirement community in a heartbeat. He hates taking care of the yard, etc. But I'm pretty sure I'd get depressed if I left the place I helped build--my dad and Dave's dad did the main construction, and we raised our four kids here--grandkids love it here, too. On top of all that, the physical stress of moving--I can't imagine all the work!
If you do go ahead and move after considering all the pros and cons, please be very careful with the lifting and carrying! I know, after wrecking my feet from just making hundreds of trips up and down our basement steps to store x-mas stuff, my body is more delicate than it used to be. And my back is always on the verge of something not fun. Maybe you're not quite as delicate as me yet (I have a couple years up on you) but, even just a few years ago I never would have thought my body would get so wimpy like it has!!!!
We have made a massive move like different continent type move, 3400 miles from Europe to the USA. It’s not too bad. Mainly the criteria is simple ‘know your limits’. ‘Stick to them’ ‘take your time’ treat your PsA the same way you do everything else. I would be more concerned with the distance from the doctor. Find a good one close by. You don’t want to have a flare up and have to drive 2 hours for care. We have a condition but if we let it define us we lose a lot. I won’t say it’s just PsA but I will say it’s just a condition, you manage the best you can and seek help when you can’t.
Hanging my head in shame! I'm talking about moving ummm, less than 100 miles away! But it will be very different and I think it's the adjustment period I'm pondering most ..... away from my familiar nest and all that. But you've given me a bit of a kick up the backside, thanks!
I'm already an hour's drive away from my rheumatologist. It took a long time and a lot of effort to find an excellent rheumy who is prepared to treat the disease aggressively so I'm staying put. I'm not fussed about the drive, whatever sort of state I'm in. However where I live now I have quite a long journey to work, to the supermarket, to the cinema, to the pool etc. etc. And I would appreciate easier access to all those regular things.
Confused said:
We have made a massive move like different continent type move, 3400 miles from Europe to the USA. It's not too bad. Mainly the criteria is simple 'know your limits'. 'Stick to them' 'take your time' treat your PsA the same way you do everything else. I would be more concerned with the distance from the doctor. Find a good one close by. You don't want to have a flare up and have to drive 2 hours for care. We have a condition but if we let it define us we lose a lot. I won't say it's just PsA but I will say it's just a condition, you manage the best you can and seek help when you can't.
To be honest Sybil, it doesn’t matter how far you move whether a few miles or many, the uprooting is the same. I love living in a town, its not a city but also not the village in the country that I grew up in. All different locations have pros and cons but, lets face it, town or city living makes sense as you get older in my view. I love being able to stroll down to my gym, 10 mins drive to work. I can also walk 10 mins and be on the local Blows Downs which are beautiful, as are the famous Dunstable Downs, Ashridge forest is 15 mins by car. Towns and cities mean good public transport…something that is lacking in a country setting most of the time.
There is nothing like living in the quiet countryside, feeling one with the planet, but moving to a city doesn’t mean you’re banned from that beautiful countryside either.
Sometimes moving while “there’s still life in the old gal” will give you the best of both worlds.
Good luck with your decision my friend x
You're 99% on the money. Except the 'old gal' bit. I'm in my prime dammit!
Of course it's going to be an upheaval, you are right. And as for whether that has any effect on the PsA, that's impossible to say, I know that. I could just as easily stay here, have a right old flare down the line and stew in my own juice wishing I'd moved while I was okay. We would have easier access to other parts of the country too, including the coast which I miss. And most of our friends & family would find it easier to visit & vice versa. So yes, there's the 'best of both worlds' element.
Louise Hoy said:
To be honest Sybil, it doesn't matter how far you move whether a few miles or many, the uprooting is the same. I love living in a town, its not a city but also not the village in the country that I grew up in. All different locations have pros and cons but, lets face it, town or city living makes sense as you get older in my view. I love being able to stroll down to my gym, 10 mins drive to work. I can also walk 10 mins and be on the local Blows Downs which are beautiful, as are the famous Dunstable Downs, Ashridge forest is 15 mins by car. Towns and cities mean good public transport....something that is lacking in a country setting most of the time. There is nothing like living in the quiet countryside, feeling one with the planet, but moving to a city doesn't mean you're banned from that beautiful countryside either. Sometimes moving while "there's still life in the old gal" will give you the best of both worlds. Good luck with your decision my friend x
You are going to be a woman in her prime with PsA whether you move or not. And if a move “gifts” you with a flare … well, you can have a flare staying put as well. And whatcha gonna do? Same, whatever.
It sounds like there are a lot of reasons to consider moving. I would, however, vote in favour of staying within striking distance of your very good rheumatologist.
I suppose for the past 6 months or so the PsA has tended to kick off to varying degrees almost every time I've dared to go on holiday or whatever. Rheumy used to talk in terms of remission but he's dropped that lately, it's not happening. Maybe that's something I need to face up to, maybe I never will be as full of beans as I have been at times. I know I've got this fussy body now but it's something I can ignore more or less if I stay put at home, following the hallowed routine. So this is looking like a reality check for me, not for the first time! Blimey, if I had a pound for every time I've needed to wise up ... I'm going to feel like cr*p sometimes if I want to have a life, more of a life.
Seenie said:
You are going to be a woman in her prime with PsA whether you move or not. And if a move "gifts" you with a flare ... well, you can have a flare staying put as well. And whatcha gonna do? Same, whatever. It sounds like there are a lot of reasons to consider moving. I would, however, vote in favour of staying within striking distance of your very good rheumatologist.
"The biggest of the village houses has hardwood floors and five bedrooms overlooking an orchard with peaches, figs, walnuts, apples and pears. At the bottom of the valley, there's a little river full of trout."
That wasn't exactly what I was thinking of when I said I wanted to move back to the city. But wow, wowee, wow. You can buy a whole village for the cost of a tiny, rund-down house in the UK. And just look at the place.
I know of someone with RA who lives in the French Alps but goes back to London to see her rheumatologist. Bit of a longer trip for you guys who live further afield.
So, a whole village of PsA-ers and their kinfolk, that would be something. And of course we'd never argue. And, in time, we'd invent a whole new language, one which turned received notions of ability v. disability etc. on their heads.
janeatiu said:
Anyone want to start a commune? Admittedly the commute to see the rheumy would be tough...
Yeah count me in. And off the top of my head I can think of at least four friends who would join us too. Only proviso would be that we can bring our kitties.
janeatiu said:
Anyone want to start a commune? Admittedly the commute to see the rheumy would be tough...
I'm bringing my dog too if that's okay. She likes cats. Anyway, what skills can we offer? I'm thinking Seenie could cook up a storm with all those trout and so on. I'll do the chopping, no probs. We might have to kidnap Grandma J and family ..... I ain't going without her.
Jules G said:
Yeah count me in. And off the top of my head I can think of at least four friends who would join us too. Only proviso would be that we can bring our kitties.
janeatiu said:
Anyone want to start a commune? Admittedly the commute to see the rheumy would be tough...
I am a great mechanic, carpenter, electrician so can I join in? Think will all the gas fired furnaces and soldering/welding I do I can easily assist with a still!
We're sorted! Really looking forward to it. Was thinking of moving to Birmingham ..... but hey! Presumably the still won't see much action around Mtx day?