Can't take this back pain anymore!

Yes, Seenie, it is awful. I absolutely can't stand sitting around doing nothing. But the pain is so hard when I get up for just a few seconds, my back is telling me to take it easy.

I was supposed to work all weekend. I know my boss is mad at me because she didn't respond to my voice mails yesterday. So I just emailed her explaining the situation . I had talked to her Thursday to tell her I wouldn't work Friday, but was hoping to be able to work the weekend.

Whatever. I can't use sick leave because I don't normally work weekends, so it's not I'm trying to take advantage.

Seenie said:

It's awful, isn't it? I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have a feeling, though, that you are going to get to the bottom of this soon.

I have learned to say "I don't know if it's better." rather than "I think it's maybe a little bit better." Thinking that maybe it's a little better is probably wishful thinking . Then the doctor thinks "OK, this is moving in the right direction, I'm on the right track." Also wishful thinking. And chances are you'll waste time. If I'm sure it's better, even a little bit, I say so. If I'm thinking it's a maybe but I'm not sure, it isn't better.

So, didn't you need surgery on those 2 slipped discs? In my MRI of 2012 I remember there were a couple bulging discs, but my back pain then was nowhere near as bad as it is now. I spose they could be bulging more. My husband has had a couple back surgeries for herniated discs, in his neck and lower back. He swears by surgery. Tirezza, did you you fix these with PT? No injections or surgeries? That's encouraging! I don't think I could sit in a hard chair-my back has always given me trouble when I do that.

I've been doing mild stretches for SI pain, but there's no improvement. I should have pushed for the MRI on Friday. Everything I do causes major pain, in my butt and now my hip, and if I stay on my feet too long (more than a minute or two) it's down my leg, too.

I hate this. My life as I have always taken it for granted, is on hold. My son texted me yesterday asking me if I'd like to go to Valley Fair amusement park. I told him my days of riding roller coasters are over. I will NEVER do anything again that is not good for weak backs and risk putting myself through this misery EVER again!

On top of it all, I worry a lot that if I needed surgery I would have to go off Enbrel for awhile. That would add more misery cuz the Enbrel is still helping my other PsA and psoriasis.

Tirezza said:

Good morning, y'all! Before being diagnosed with PsA, I had to have an MRI done to find out what was causing severe lower back pain. The only thing the Dr. was letting me do was walk, nothing else. Walking was a literal pain in the butt. I moved into the downstairs bedroom because I couldn't go up the stairs. Anyway, the MRI showed that I had slipped two lower discs and they were touching the nerve bundle at the base of my spine. So, yes, get that MRI. I've needed PT whenever I've really overdone it. I try to be good, but sometimes you just want to get on that rollercoaster and have fun!

For pain I used a heating pad. I also sit in a hard bottomed, hard backed chair. I haven't sat on a sofa in years. Let us know what the Dr. says.

As for annular tears, I've had those, too. I just found that Preparation H makes wipes for women. I love those wipes. They have shea butter, chamomile, aloe, vitamin E, and witch hazel in them. They are very cool and soothing.

You do understand that sciatica, butt pain etc. doesn't and can't come from bulging discs right? There aren't any there. spinal nerves terminate at the L1 and continue from there as the caudia equina which is a bundle covered by a bunch of ligaments fibrous tissue etc. The pain you are feeling is from muscles ligaments etc. There is rare chance you have a hyper mobile SI. Some of the spinal pain meat markets sre doing a surgery to correct it. So far there are few if any insurance companies that will pay for it as it is highly experimental and results are impossible to track. Its one of those things where people almost get better (until the next time) anyway so surgeons get a lot of repeat customers. (its rare to find anyone who has only had one spinal center surgery as opposed to emergencey neuro surgery in a regular medical center)


I wouldn't sweat the surgery, you would have been rferred at your last appointment. Your doc is in a delay pattern, its pretty common. He wants you to know he cares and feels for you, but also believes this will resolve on its own given some time. You do not wait on a hot spine. There are very specific criteria. Had you met them you would have been admitted. Thats not say the study if they do it won't find osteophtes or other degeneration, but yor pain would likley have stared higher.

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I totally agree with you, and that is exactly what I told my husband who has had emergency surgery for "blown discs". He was a heavy equipment operator at a coal energy plant, and most of his coworkers have had the same surgery. I've been almost 100% sure it isn't a disc, but that's not to say the pain wasn't horrendous-it was the worst back-butt-pain I've ever had and pray to God it never comes back. Pain has only brought me to tears one other time, and that was when the neuropathy in my feet got to be overwhelming after I put up with over 6 months of that pain. I would have let someone chop my feet off with an axe if I had no hope of recovering from it!

Most of the time my PsA pain is more the gnawing, throbbing, achy--you know-pain that we can all identify with. Pain that we endure but it makes us tired, weak and depressed. But we go about our daily activities. I, for one, have done that with no prescription pain meds, no DMARDS, and as you know just recently, a biologic. I think I have a really high pain tolerance....I've had 4 baby's with no pain meds or epidurals.

I've never taken this much ibuprofen or pain med ever. I'm on 3000 mg ibuprofen/day, and finally this afternoon the pain is letting up. Its been 5 days, and the doctor I saw Friday told me the same exact thing you said about possible SI and muscles/ligaments. You are so smart, and I very much appreciate your explanations, because doctors at the clinic don't usually go into much detail.

tntlamb said:

You do understand that sciatica, butt pain etc. doesn't and can't come from bulging discs right? There aren't any there. spinal nerves terminate at the L1 and continue from there as the caudia equina which is a bundle covered by a bunch of ligaments fibrous tissue etc. The pain you are feeling is from muscles ligaments etc. There is rare chance you have a hyper mobile SI. Some of the spinal pain meat markets sre doing a surgery to correct it. So far there are few if any insurance companies that will pay for it as it is highly experimental and results are impossible to track. Its one of those things where people almost get better (until the next time) anyway so surgeons get a lot of repeat customers. (its rare to find anyone who has only had one spinal center surgery as opposed to emergencey neuro surgery in a regular medical center)


I wouldn't sweat the surgery, you would have been rferred at your last appointment. Your doc is in a delay pattern, its pretty common. He wants you to know he cares and feels for you, but also believes this will resolve on its own given some time. You do not wait on a hot spine. There are very specific criteria. Had you met them you would have been admitted. Thats not say the study if they do it won't find osteophtes or other degeneration, but yor pain would likley have stared higher.

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There is a lot of your hubbys stuff aroind here too, or at least used to be. Loggers..... Since the colapse of forrest products, we have lost 3 spinal surgeons and the second floor of the spinal center is being rented for storage.....

You'll make it, really you ill. These things really do a few days of I'm gonna die, followed by a few more oflease shoot me now, folowed by the certain knowledge it will get better, but not before you make sure every gun in the house is locked up. Once you are past that first period, things get better quickly but there will be twinges reminding you of where you were dont let it freak you out. Rarley do you regress........

This BTW may be life and not PsA.
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Lol tntlamb! You crack me up!

It's hard to imagine such a little thing, whatever sort of injury it was, could cause so much pain. You are exactly right how you describe the feelings. I wasn't quite contemplating shooting myself, though haha!

Next time it's hurting enough to start PT I'm gonna be more careful not to aggravate it. It went from bad to worse real fast!

Thanks for all your kind encouragement!


tntlamb said:

There is a lot of your hubbys stuff aroind here too, or at least used to be. Loggers..... Since the colapse of forrest products, we have lost 3 spinal surgeons and the second floor of the spinal center is being rented for storage.....

You'll make it, really you ill. These things really do a few days of I'm gonna die, followed by a few more oflease shoot me now, folowed by the certain knowledge it will get better, but not before you make sure every gun in the house is locked up. Once you are past that first period, things get better quickly but there will be twinges reminding you of where you were dont let it freak you out. Rarley do you regress........


This BTW may be life and not PsA.
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I just lost my reply, so here goes again!

Thanks, Sybil, and I agree about lamb and everything you said.

I was so happy to be able to walk yesterday, I sort of overdid it, but the pain didn't come back as bad as it was. I'm taking less ibuprofen and able to tolerate the little break through pain.

You know, when things get that bad, I have a hard time telling myself it'll get better. Now, having experienced pain that felt like it would permanently cripple me or force me to have surgery, I can know in the future what outcome I can expect.

I'm debating about going ahead with the MRI--I'm sure my doc will order one if I want. If the intense pain is gone, I'm thinking whatever was out if whack won't show up on an MRI anymore.

sybil said:

lamb's pretty damn good isn't he? I've been reading through in amazement! Best of all Grandma J, sounds like you won't need surgery & can now see light at the end of the tunnel. You've really had to grit your teeth this time, hope you're back to your busy life very soon.

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Hey, Grandma J! I work 12 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday, so no computer for me for two days. I'll read the rest of the posts and get back with you. I don't want to confuse any more words. : )
Grandma J said:

I made the mistake and told the doctor yesterday that I thought my back was getting better. Tirezza, I just noticed your comments above. I am so hoping this isn't a herniated disc-the intense pain is so concentrated at the area of my SI joint and into my hip, and I think my leg would hurt more too if it was a disc.

My husband is upset with me because I didn't demand an MRI yesterday, but I really thought with rest, pills and heat for a couple more days the pain would go away. Well, the pain was worse during the night and I've had very little sleep.

I'm sure we'll fix this somehow--I'm scared to death of injections into joints, but read there is an injection for the SI joint. I can't live with this pain--my life would change drastically if it didn't go away. I wish I knew what caused it to get so bad--I know it didn't help when the PT pressed on that area, but I think something else I did, which I shouldn't have done because there already was some pain in the area, is what caused it to really flare up.

Monday can't come soon enough for me!

Evening, everybody! Ready for some proofreading, Lamb? ; ) I did the "gonna die, shoot me now, I wanna handicapped rear view mirror thingy". I think that is what gave the Dr. the push needed to do an MRI. I did not have surgery for the slipped discs. I was told that if I followed my Dr's advice the tears would heal on their own. I basically sat and did nothing for 3 months followed by all the PT that my insurance would allow. I still do the stretching exercises almost every morning. It helps me get up and not be all zombie-like with my walking. I don't think the nerve bundle is actually touched, but maybe irritated in some way by the disc. The Dr.s major concerns were caudia equina syndrome, that it was very important to get to an ER quickly if I had any bladder or bowel issues. He also said that I was too young to have a spine that looked that old and I may have anklyosing spondylitis. That was the first time a visit with the rheumatolgist was mentioned. The rheumy has decided to call my spine issues spondylitis. Movement is something that they both stress, so I try to walk as much as I can. Yesterday I overdid it and have a slight ache in the lower back to over the right buttock area. I don't remember, have you had the MRI yet? I think that would be a good place to start.

No MRI. Talked to doc on phone today and we're going to continue PT for a bit and see if pain goes away. If not, we'll do MRI-pain is a lot less today and I am able to walk.

I dug out my MRI results from 2 years ago, and was wondering if *** lamb *** could explain them to me if I shared some of the results on here. Please? If you don't want to, lamb, I certainly understand! I'm sure a lot of us have similar spine problems and mine were listed as mild to moderate this and that.

It would be interesting to see if there have been major changes, I did have some bulging discs back then. I might as well list the 2012 results:

Interpretation: Images reveal loss of the upper lumbar lordosis. The conus medullaris has a normal appearance at the L2 level. Yay, my CM is normal!!! Yes!!!

There are endplate irregularities in the thoracic and lumbar spine.

At L5-S1, there is a 3mm right paracentral protrusion partially effacing the ventral thecal sac without neural compromise. There is facet arthropathy bilaterally without significant foraminal compromise.

At the L4-L5 level, there is a caudally migrating 7mm extrusion. There is subarticular recess stenosis with impingement of the traversing right L5 nerve root. Facet arthropathy contributes to moderate right and mild to moderate left foraminal stenosis.

At L3-4 level, there is a 4mm retrolisthesis and a diffuse annular bulge. In addition, there is a right foraminal high signal intensity annular fissure and a left foraminal and far lateral caudally migrating 6 mm extrusion. There is crowding of the exiting nerve root and ganglia but no impingement. Mild foraminal narrowing on the right without ganglionic impingement is noted as well.

At the L2-3 level, at L1-2, and the T12-L1 level all show mild annular bulging without canal or foraminal compromise.

Conclusion: Scheuermann's-like changes of multilevel degenerative disc findings. (Then he summarizes what is shown above, and no evidence for neoplasm or infection.)

This all sounds very interesting to me, but I really don't know what it all means. At least the word "severe" isn't in there anywhere. That would scare me haha!!!

Now remember this MRI is from 10/02/2012 when I was having some moderate back and neck pain. They also gave me the cd's! They weren't looking at my sacroiliac joints at the time, but I thought I could see them on the pics. There was also an MRI of my cervical spine in 2012, which shows lots of stuff, too, the conclusion being:1. Multilevel degenerative changes with reversal of the normal cervical lordosis at C5-6.

2. Spondylosis is most pronounced at the C5-6 level with cord contouring.

3. 3mm central HNP at C2-3.

4. No evidence for intrinsic cord pathology, neoplasm or infection. (I like #4!!)

P.S. Sorry if I bored you to death. You didn't have to read it!



Tirezza said:

Evening, everybody! Ready for some proofreading, Lamb? ; ) I did the "gonna die, shoot me now, I wanna handicapped rear view mirror thingy". I think that is what gave the Dr. the push needed to do an MRI. I did not have surgery for the slipped discs. I was told that if I followed my Dr's advice the tears would heal on their own. I basically sat and did nothing for 3 months followed by all the PT that my insurance would allow. I still do the stretching exercises almost every morning. It helps me get up and not be all zombie-like with my walking. I don't think the nerve bundle is actually touched, but maybe irritated in some way by the disc. The Dr.s major concerns were caudia equina syndrome, that it was very important to get to an ER quickly if I had any bladder or bowel issues. He also said that I was too young to have a spine that looked that old and I may have anklyosing spondylitis. That was the first time a visit with the rheumatolgist was mentioned. The rheumy has decided to call my spine issues spondylitis. Movement is something that they both stress, so I try to walk as much as I can. Yesterday I overdid it and have a slight ache in the lower back to over the right buttock area. I don't remember, have you had the MRI yet? I think that would be a good place to start.

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In my head I keep going back and forth about whether or not to have another MRI. I just keep wishing the pain would vanish completely for awhile so this walking on eggshells feeling would go away. Also, I hate to say this because y'all know what a worrier I am--I don't want to be told the only thing that will stop the pain is something drastic like an injection. Call me a chicken, cuz that's what I am!!!!

Grandma J said:

No MRI. Talked to doc on phone today and we're going to continue PT for a bit and see if pain goes away. If not, we'll do MRI-pain is a lot less today and I am able to walk.

I dug out my MRI results from 2 years ago, and was wondering if *** lamb *** could explain them to me if I shared some of the results on here. Please? If you don't want to, lamb, I certainly understand! I'm sure a lot of us have similar spine problems and mine were listed as mild to moderate this and that.

It would be interesting to see if there have been major changes, I did have some bulging discs back then. I might as well list the 2012 results:

Interpretation: Images reveal loss of the upper lumbar lordosis. The conus medullaris has a normal appearance at the L2 level. Yay, my CM is normal!!! Yes!!!

There are endplate irregularities in the thoracic and lumbar spine.

At L5-S1, there is a 3mm right paracentral protrusion partially effacing the ventral thecal sac without neural compromise. There is facet arthropathy bilaterally without significant foraminal compromise.

At the L4-L5 level, there is a caudally migrating 7mm extrusion. There is subarticular recess stenosis with impingement of the traversing right L5 nerve root. Facet arthropathy contributes to moderate right and mild to moderate left foraminal stenosis.

At L3-4 level, there is a 4mm retrolisthesis and a diffuse annular bulge. In addition, there is a right foraminal high signal intensity annular fissure and a left foraminal and far lateral caudally migrating 6 mm extrusion. There is crowding of the exiting nerve root and ganglia but no impingement. Mild foraminal narrowing on the right without ganglionic impingement is noted as well.

At the L2-3 level, at L1-2, and the T12-L1 level all show mild annular bulging without canal or foraminal compromise.

Conclusion: Scheuermann's-like changes of multilevel degenerative disc findings. (Then he summarizes what is shown above, and no evidence for neoplasm or infection.)

This all sounds very interesting to me, but I really don't know what it all means. At least the word "severe" isn't in there anywhere. That would scare me haha!!!

Now remember this MRI is from 10/02/2012 when I was having some moderate back and neck pain. They also gave me the cd's! They weren't looking at my sacroiliac joints at the time, but I thought I could see them on the pics. There was also an MRI of my cervical spine in 2012, which shows lots of stuff, too, the conclusion being:1. Multilevel degenerative changes with reversal of the normal cervical lordosis at C5-6.

2. Spondylosis is most pronounced at the C5-6 level with cord contouring.

3. 3mm central HNP at C2-3.

4. No evidence for intrinsic cord pathology, neoplasm or infection. (I like #4!!)

P.S. Sorry if I bored you to death. You didn't have to read it!



Tirezza said:

Evening, everybody! Ready for some proofreading, Lamb? ; ) I did the "gonna die, shoot me now, I wanna handicapped rear view mirror thingy". I think that is what gave the Dr. the push needed to do an MRI. I did not have surgery for the slipped discs. I was told that if I followed my Dr's advice the tears would heal on their own. I basically sat and did nothing for 3 months followed by all the PT that my insurance would allow. I still do the stretching exercises almost every morning. It helps me get up and not be all zombie-like with my walking. I don't think the nerve bundle is actually touched, but maybe irritated in some way by the disc. The Dr.s major concerns were caudia equina syndrome, that it was very important to get to an ER quickly if I had any bladder or bowel issues. He also said that I was too young to have a spine that looked that old and I may have anklyosing spondylitis. That was the first time a visit with the rheumatolgist was mentioned. The rheumy has decided to call my spine issues spondylitis. Movement is something that they both stress, so I try to walk as much as I can. Yesterday I overdid it and have a slight ache in the lower back to over the right buttock area. I don't remember, have you had the MRI yet? I think that would be a good place to start.

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Hey, wus!

Looooonnnngg needles scare me the most--ones that go into joints!! It just seems like something could go wrong and make the pain worse...what if it hits my sciatic nerve....or what if it -- what if the needle breaks off inside me -- what if, what if??? That's how my mind works. And, if you'd talk to my mom for 5 minutes, you'd know exactly why I'm like that!

So far, every fear I've had has been unjustified, and when I've faced the fear, there wasn't a bad outcome at all!

Why didn't you opt for the sureclick injectors, Sybil? You don't see the needle.

j/k about wussy--I love to tease--especially when it's someone I know is the opposite of a WUS!

How's the neighbor, have you kissed and made up yet?

sybil said:

How long would an injection take though? Maybe just seconds? Having said that, I'm still getting wobbly before injecting Humira with the easy-peasy syringe. It's just a physical thing, wobble, quiver, wobble - can't wait to be an old hand at all this, sticking needles in myself with gay abandon. If you did go for an injection might you be able to have something to calm you down first?

Might just make the headline news here! When they pick up on a story, it's nonstop on every news station. I'll let you know if you get mentioned in it....it would probably go something like: "an interesting story has caught our attention from a little community in the UK, called Shropshire Village; a quiet place where chickens run free, clothing flaps in the breeze from clotheslines near every quaint cottage, bla,bla, bla......a woman who has been known as nothing but a sweet, quiet, kindly lady who usually seems rather frail--she calls herself Sybil and claims to be suffering from something called PsA--attacked her neighbor relentlessly with fistfuls of compost--temporarily blinding him in one eye and worse--causing him to collapse from choking. Paramedics arrived just in time to administer antidotes to him--apparently he had a serious allergy to compost, and his lungs began shutting down. Miss Sybil has been retained for questioning and charges are pending...she is stating the PsA made her do it...we will continue to follow this story until something more exciting comes along...."

sybil said:

I am a wus, of sorts, depends! I like the syringe 'cos I can take my time so if it stings a bit I depress the plunger more slowly & stinging disappears. And I prefer to see what's what, being in control. I'll be fine in time. I hear what you're saying about needles, once the imagination starts going ..... but you'll make the best decision, that's what you do!

Neighbour is crazy, just plain bonkers. Husband will only concede so much to idiots then digs his heels in. I'm staying out of it! I don't know how much news you get about this little old island, but watch out for 'COMPOST WAR HITS SHROPSHIRE VILLAGE!'


Grandma J said:

Hey, wus!

Looooonnnngg needles scare me the most--ones that go into joints!! It just seems like something could go wrong and make the pain worse...what if it hits my sciatic nerve....or what if it -- what if the needle breaks off inside me -- what if, what if??? That's how my mind works. And, if you'd talk to my mom for 5 minutes, you'd know exactly why I'm like that!

So far, every fear I've had has been unjustified, and when I've faced the fear, there wasn't a bad outcome at all!

Why didn't you opt for the sureclick injectors, Sybil? You don't see the needle.

j/k about wussy--I love to tease--especially when it's someone I know is the opposite of a WUS!

How's the neighbor, have you kissed and made up yet?

sybil said:

How long would an injection take though? Maybe just seconds? Having said that, I'm still getting wobbly before injecting Humira with the easy-peasy syringe. It's just a physical thing, wobble, quiver, wobble - can't wait to be an old hand at all this, sticking needles in myself with gay abandon. If you did go for an injection might you be able to have something to calm you down first?

I have an idea. Four stakes and a bright yellow tarpaulin to block the neighbour’s view of the offending organic matter.


I second that idea . . . LOL
Seenie said:

I have an idea. Four stakes and a bright yellow tarpaulin to block the neighbour's view of the offending organic matter.

Neighbor issues are no fun. I can not imagine objecting to compost. Seems so ridiculous to my mind.

We live on a logging trail on a mountain. There are about 10 houses within a half mile. Some yuppies moved in a few years ago to prove they are hippies I guess. They didn't have snow tires never mind 4 wheel drive. I figured they wouldn't last the first winter. They did. They texted us our dog was pooping on their lawn. We had never received a text before and had no clue how to respond! We started walking our dog on a leash. Imagine buying 7 acres in the middle of no where and having to walk your dog on a leash! What I would like to know is how she felt about the bear poop from the big female bear hanging around this spring!?! She didn't loiter when the dogs were wandering around! Sheesh!

Next thing, she'll blame you for the bear poop in her yard, michael!

That's fine, Sybil, I'd rather be off topic. Imagine going to work and everybody's like, oh you poor thang--don't overdo it now. You shouldn't be coming to work if your back hurts. Omg shut up! It's one thing telling you guys all my woes in writing--I'm really not looking for sympathy--I just feel I'm among people who've had the same pain and you all can relate. And, you don't have to read it.

Sorry for calling you frail, Sybil--well, I bet you feel frail sometimes with your PsA symptoms! :-)

This thread is quite interesting and entertaining! Thanks peeps. I read these while I wait for my benedryl to kick in and take care of my insomnia as well as allergies.
Hope things are mending for you Grandma J. I’ve had (eventual) very good results with steroid injections, but have never had one in my back.

Sorry if I sounded a little sarcastic. I was in a bad mood.

Sybil, I can only imagine how beautiful the countryside must be where you live. I'll probably never visit your country, but I'm sure its amazing! Mr. crabby should just be content he gets to live there! Life is too short to waste ones time worrying about the neighbor's compost heap.

sybil said:

Took me a while to realise just how ludicrous this is for you! Sorry you've got crappy neighbours too Michael, but wow, 7 acres and it's really interesting reading these little snippets of people lives.

So as Grandma J's cool with the diversion .... must add that my compost-averse neighbour has a stonking view across about 50 or 60 miles of beautiful countryside. If only he could make out the detail .... so I'm going to suggest that he buy a powerful telescope, that way he could complain about every compost heap between here and the Welsh coast!

michael in vermont said:

Neighbor issues are no fun. I can not imagine objecting to compost. Seems so ridiculous to my mind.

We live on a logging trail on a mountain. There are about 10 houses within a half mile. Some yuppies moved in a few years ago to prove they are hippies I guess. They didn't have snow tires never mind 4 wheel drive. I figured they wouldn't last the first winter. They did. They texted us our dog was pooping on their lawn. We had never received a text before and had no clue how to respond! We started walking our dog on a leash. Imagine buying 7 acres in the middle of no where and having to walk your dog on a leash! What I would like to know is how she felt about the bear poop from the big female bear hanging around this spring!?! She didn't loiter when the dogs were wandering around! Sheesh!

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That would be nice, except you wouldn't be too impressed about the area of MN I live-but there is a nice city not too far from me (Duluth, MN) because it's a harbor town and tourists come from all over to visit Duluth and the scenic north shore of Lake Superior.

Most people would say I've led a very boring life. But I tend to like boring. My goal, though, now that my husband and I are getting up in years, is to take one nice trip every year. I hope we can pull that off!

It is interesting the different use of words by people on this site. I love it--sometimes I'm not able to understand it, though. Did you have "pen pals" when you were a kid? Being on here reminds me of that!

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