No sooner was I diagnosed in August than I guess I went into a little remission, because I was mostly pain-free for three months. And I think maybe I forgot how unpleasant this is, because I am just sick at heart. Thought maybe it wasn't coming back? I've been hurting out of the blue today, so bad.
Thing is, it isn't really out of the blue. I guess I ignored some signs. My toes and knees. I just pretended they weren't hurting.
But today, man, I just can't deal. My hands, wrists, elbows. I don't even see any swelling, and yet it feels like every joint in my arms and hands is lined with broken glass.
I can't explain well, I just feel so incredibly disappointed. I wanted so bad to believe this was gone for the foreseeable future, and it's not, and.
Not even angry. (not yet?) Just really sad.
hello there I know how you feel I was pain free for 2 years then all of a sudden it came back out with avengence I was so upset with it all I did not know much about the diease and went off my meds cold turkey just to prove to someone it was not kicking my butt did not know that the med would stay in my system for 2 years.I have not yet been able to get it under uncontrol have had a few good days but it has been real bad I know my diease has progressed a lot because of it But have learned so much in the past year about it .I still get very angry at it some days and just want so badly for someone to take it all away but after awhile reality kicks in and I know there is no cure but the progression from it with the right meds will at least slow it down.There are times I have no swollen but to walk and use any part of my body feels like I am blotted and also like glass My family is very understanding about my diease and they sit and let me cry and talk without interrupting me and tell me only that they r there for me they understand they love me and if they could take it all away they would plus this site is a god sent for me cause I have a place to come to where I can learn and also talk to others that are dealing with this each and every day It is okay to be disappointed sad angry life may change for things that we once enjoyed but it is not the end life is what we make it I have learned that there are a few things I have had to give up but not everything I just learn new ways to do other things hope your days get better god bless you
Are you doing any treatment? If this is still going on on Friday (sorry, didn't spot this until today) I would definitely put a call in to your rheumy. They can offer you some options, including steroids, to just knock things back, and then talk longer term treatment options. In the meantime, self-care might be helpful. Good sleep, ice or heat, as appropriate, etc.
Understood--The mental up and downs of this disease, along with the incredible physical pain is really, really hard to deal with. for me, these are the times when I am really reminded of the meaning of the word "chronic", and the sad to believe inevitability that this will be with me every day for a long while. It helps to have the support system of this group who truly do 'get it'. :)
Try and take care of yourself today and remember that you are not alone--T