Personally I feel it is better to get it out and over with than to let it 'fester' and cause more damage. What are some things you have found helpful?
SK, good mornin!! I agree, when I get angry I let it go forth; and have it all done with. No sense in holding it in...I have enough problems without trying to cause myself and ulcer by holding things in and fuming over them. My Irish roots won't let me not show my temper. I have a tendency to slam cabinets; stomp away and I talk to myself. My mother taught me to do that because my mouth can get me into HUGE trouble and can hurt feelings.
Oh Alma,
I am LOLing right now, I can just see that hub of yours 'JUMP' when the cupboard doors start to fly, and I say that as it is a favorite release of mine as well! Hell, it's a wonder we have any left!! HA!! I used to slam some pots and pans around too, but since getting a new slide-in, ss smooth top, I just dare not, BUT I have whizzed a few lids down the basement stairs in the direction of my hub's 'bunker'! Ah, even I am laughing, BTW have never seen those lids since!
I have gone outside and screamed and scared cattle and other livestock miles away!
Okay, someone else's turn now, can't give away all my tricks just yet!
Come on, you know that you have been furious at this disease! Talk to us!
Hey SK, this topic would be great at the Fibro board too (hint, hint.) Great idea and way to talk about it without acting upon it.
I blog (big surprise, huh? LOL).
Like this: http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2011/09/life-partner.html
and this: http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2011/12/dearest-body.html
Sarcasm is my friend as well. :)
I no longer slam doors or throw things, as I'd probably hurt myself in the process. LOL
I laugh.
I stop what I'm doing, scream, and then resume life. I often invite my kids to help, telling them to think about everything that's bothering them, and put it into the scream and then let it go. Our neighbors probably think we're psychotic, which amuses me.
nym said:
I blog (big surprise, huh? LOL).
Like this: http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2011/09/life-partner.html
and this: http://rannygahoots.blogspot.com/2011/12/dearest-body.html
Sarcasm is my friend as well. :)
I no longer slam doors or throw things, as I'd probably hurt myself in the process. LOL
WEll, nym, from one 'psychotic' to another ... Alright Pet, I'll post it there too! See if I can get 'em screaming over there too!I laugh.
I stop what I'm doing, scream, and then resume life. I often invite my kids to help, telling them to think about everything that's bothering them, and put it into the scream and then let it go. Our neighbors probably think we're psychotic, which amuses me.
I am glad to see this post today .... I am mad today .... and I hope im not the only one who has gotten mad for this reason... I am mad because i feel good today!? I know that we are to enjoy the good days but why am I mad. I know that I am not crazy and this disease is real but days like today sure make you question everything. So I cry and try to let it go so i can enjoy not hurting. Anyone go thru this????
Heck yes, Trish, it's like 'hormones gone wild or something'! No rhyme or reason at all! It drives everyone crazy, no matter if you are an arduous researcher or a just the 'gimme the pill so I am better type'! makes you nuts!!!! Slam some stuff around, hurl some pot lids out the door, get it out!
I mean you have a good day and cry or am ticked off that they all can't be good! We're with you sister!
thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
SK said:
Heck yes, Trish, it's like 'hormones gone wild or something'! No rhyme or reason at all! It drives everyone crazy, no matter if you are an arduous researcher or a just the 'gimme the pill so I am better type'! makes you nuts!!!! Slam some stuff around, hurl some pot lids out the door, get it out!
I mean you have a good day and cry or am ticked off that they all can't be good! We're with you sister!
Doing better, Trish?
Yes, Trish, I do get angry when I have good days sometimes. I think it's mostly because 1. it's a reminder of how life COULD be ALL THE TIME if I ever get to the point of controlling my PsA and 2. it's usually a day when I have nothing planned, and not a day when I have things I REALLY need to do that take a lot of energy! And then I get angry with myself for not appreciating the good day.
Great topic SK!
Things that make me mad:
The years of doctors visits and they totally missed it. "Diet and Exercise" was their answer - yeah, like I didn't already try that!
Having to ask for help and then feeling guilty about it.
Not being able to control this disease - I'm a super control freak!
Seeing the kindness and empathy in my children's eyes when they know Mom is having a tough day - breaks my heart.
What makes it better:
Remembering just how blessed I am. Hopefully that doesn't sound superficial but I really do put on my "attitude of gratitude" each day.
This wonderful group of folks - of course. I have learned soooo much from all of you. Many thanks!
So glad to have you with us Hopeful, and as much as we may seem to growl and groan at times, we too are grateful!
Hee hee, most of the time, I don't know why I am mad, but It ends up being my husband's fault. And since he is as flawed as they come, it's really convenient to find something to blame him for, to yell and cry my eyes out . Poor thing, he apologizes , very genuinely I must admit, every time I'm angry and upset for no reason.
Hi Anisha,
Husbands have been blamed for everything from the beginning of time, even when they are not at all guilty! You are very fortunate that you are young and beautiful and in love, as you may not always get away with it! LOL!!
You are a journalist, no one can research like one, you have a special talent for digging up truth that eludes most of us, perhaps it is time to include him in on this quest for information, and go through this together, sounds like he is already wonderfully understanding!
This disease will make you angrier than you ever imagined, best to start letting it out with the cupboards for a while!
Chances are, the more you talk to us, the less you holler at hubby!
SK
That I will keep in mind SK! He is understanding, yes, but he always attributes my fits of rage and crankiness to PMS or 'spoilt-brattiness', and not my PsA. Say, I drag myself home from work, feeling lousy when my joints are acting up and the first thing he asks me when I walk thru the front door is, "Hey, you're home! What's for dinner?". My typical response would be to snarl at him, tell him he's too bloody fat and could do without dinner and push him away when he comes to give me a hug or grab my hand-- because my ribs and fingers are usually throbbing after a long day at work.
I do sometimes try to vent on things, mostly stuff that belongs to the husband };)
Also, you really have a way with words, SK
Yes, that old "what's for dinner" argument starter! Take-out or delivery is always a good ideaTur, on bad days, before the question even gets asked! I live out here in the middle of the cow paddies, so not much of an option, I have discovered that the local grocery store makes some fantastic fried chicken, no they were not lamb's wife's chickens.
That husband of yours doesn't look too 'bloody fat' to us! Perhaps you could start by having him cook a night or scare something up from carry-out! Turn the tables!
I know about the pain of barely being touched at times, makes for a man forever afraid to touch you, and you are too young to be adding that to your heart. Getting loved ones to 'get it' is undoubedly the most difficult of all of this, once you find that perfect Doctor.
What say you group? How about a little shared wisdom???????????
Anisha ... I think you should call your husband before you leave work and ask him what's for dinner! :)
I did the majority of the cooking before my PsA got really bad - and it made sense since I'm an at-home parent (I homeschool my kids and take care of other people's kids)....and my husband works second shift, so was only home for dinner twice a week. Now, however, he's has Friday and Saturdays off and works first shift on Sundays, so he's in charge of dinner those days. It makes a world of difference. There are so many days when I'm in so much pain by the time I put dinner on the table, I can't eat it myself. I think he finally got the picture after me cooking dinner one night that he was home and then leaving him and the kids at the table to eat while I went to lay down. He finally understood that when I said I didn't eat dinner all those other times, (he'd get home from work and I'd be starving) it was because I was too ill to do so.
Today I am trying not to be angry with my husband. Last night before driving to choir rehearsal, I put oil in my van and then went to top off the coolant because it was low. I retrieved the coolant jug from the garage - clearly labeled anitfreeze/coolant, and started pouring. It was used oil from when he'd done oil changes on my van and his car. In the jug that just two months ago had antifreeze/coolant in it and had been put back in the same place!!!! So, now my van is in the shop getting the radiator flushed and new coolant put in - to the tune of $200 or so (with doing a couple other things as well), which is the cheapest we could find at the garages we trust. Because I NEED the van for running around like a crazy person for the next few days (going on vacation on Saturday), we needed to get it done quickly. Argh. What really sucks is that if not for my PsA, I could have done the radiator flush myself and saved us the money. I just couldn't imagine trying to get that accomplished - in the chilly, rainy weather we're having today...while wrangling children!!!
I clean out drawers and closets if body permits. I'm a little OCD so this is therapy for me! If hubs or ds have meltdowns, I get to cleaning! No sense in reasoning with that, especially in light of when the rampage is over, they don't even remember why they melted down anyway, and I at least end up with a clean house. LOL