ANGER, we have all gone through it

I have what my mother calls the "Pomrenke anger"...Her side of the family is German... I try to control it for the most part, I used to throw things when I was younger...try not to do that now as my son of course picks up every habbit I have lol. My husband is Italian so our fights can be...interesting lol....but are brief.

My main source of anger w/ the Psa is that I feel like I wasted so much of my life before I became ill. I get angry at myself for that....because now I can't do all that I wanted to do...grrr To help with that guilt/anger I try to encourage others(mostly my younger sisters or friends) to not just let life pass them by but to get up and out and DO something to accomplish their dreams/goals.

Ugh!
My sympathies, I truly, truly understand. : ) My friend up north would say "that's how men do;" not all men of course, and not all the time. My intention is not to man bash, but just express my commiserations to your plight as I most definitely have been there!

Is your significant other a touch ADD? Mine definitely is, along with being an Aspie.


nym said:

Anisha ... I think you should call your husband before you leave work and ask him what's for dinner! :)

I did the majority of the cooking before my PsA got really bad - and it made sense since I'm an at-home parent (I homeschool my kids and take care of other people's kids)....and my husband works second shift, so was only home for dinner twice a week. Now, however, he's has Friday and Saturdays off and works first shift on Sundays, so he's in charge of dinner those days. It makes a world of difference. There are so many days when I'm in so much pain by the time I put dinner on the table, I can't eat it myself. I think he finally got the picture after me cooking dinner one night that he was home and then leaving him and the kids at the table to eat while I went to lay down. He finally understood that when I said I didn't eat dinner all those other times, (he'd get home from work and I'd be starving) it was because I was too ill to do so.

Today I am trying not to be angry with my husband. Last night before driving to choir rehearsal, I put oil in my van and then went to top off the coolant because it was low. I retrieved the coolant jug from the garage - clearly labeled anitfreeze/coolant, and started pouring. It was used oil from when he'd done oil changes on my van and his car. In the jug that just two months ago had antifreeze/coolant in it and had been put back in the same place!!!! So, now my van is in the shop getting the radiator flushed and new coolant put in - to the tune of $200 or so (with doing a couple other things as well), which is the cheapest we could find at the garages we trust. Because I NEED the van for running around like a crazy person for the next few days (going on vacation on Saturday), we needed to get it done quickly. Argh. What really sucks is that if not for my PsA, I could have done the radiator flush myself and saved us the money. I just couldn't imagine trying to get that accomplished - in the chilly, rainy weather we're having today...while wrangling children!!!

I have been slamming doors all of my life. I was so mad one time while growing up (must have been pre-teen) that I slammed my bedroom door to shut out what my mother was saying to me. Well that door was a pocket door and it came off the track, I was stuck in my bedroom and couldn't get out. My wonderful father decided that I could sit in that room for a couple of hours before he came and got the door open. I learned my lesson that day...NEVER slam your bedroom door, but cabinet doors are different...I am not inside the cabinet. LOL

The biggest reason I get angry with PsA is that I have always been a person that didn;t sit still. Always up doing something, somewhere, usually for someone. Now I can barely do for myself and my husband. I too get angry when I have to ask for help...then feel guilty about it.

SK, I can see the cows stampeding now, LOL... We live in a 55+ community and I do my best to keep the neighbors talking anyway. Think I will have to try the opening the door and screaming sometime. LOL they will call the cops or won't even hear me...

I want the video Alma!

I'm Afraid to get into this one..... After five sons the next 4 were girls and the boys left me. The Dogs The cats were all girls. It was (is) me and only me. The end to my blissful life startedwhen my middle daughter convinced me it wouldn't hurt to wax my back and would be less gross (guess which one is a national sales manager for major Janitorial Supply house)

Finally I got some male company (after I carved an new address sign for the gate stating "Estrogen Estates) my cat. I went fishing only to come home and find they had neutered for making too much noise

I say nothing....

Someone bookmark this for Seenie, please!!!

not as mad...... however got the news from Dr. that Methotrexate and my liver are not getting along.... so now the doc says the only option left for me is Enbrel ..... I know that most everyone loves the shot but i am not there yet i cant seem to get past the possible side effects.... so now i must decide what path i am to take..... asked doc to give me something for pain when it "spikes" and was told there was nothing to give me except enbrel. Am I the only one that isnt allowed to get anything for pain???? It cracks me up cause i hate to take pills and i sure wasnt looking for any narcotics. Soooooo thats where i am at today swollen in pain and confused thanks for checking in on me


SK said:

Doing better, Trish?

Trish,

I honestly had to look at your page to see if you were in another country! My Rheum does not want to prescribe meds for pain, just for Autoimmune, but my GP wants me to take Opana as a maintence drug, where as I will only take it to deal with very intense pain and to break pain cycles. I suppose in time, with the spinal stenosis, that may change.

Oxiprozin is an antiinflammatory that I take as a maintence drug, and helps my SI joints tremendously, and the Lyrica does wonders for a wicked case of sciatica.

I have taken 7 shots of Enbrel, and there are times I do feel a great difference in pain and mobility levels BUT only if there is not a big storm brewing, and that has been going on non stop since beginning the Enbrel. One big storm after the other, so barometric pressure is a big factor in how I am feeling.

I am dreading the time when the A/C will have to be on all of the time as it just kills me, even if I have the air off in the room I am in, and just rely on it coming from another room it is too much.

Once the liver starts acting up, I suppose they do not want to administer pain meds, but that is one reason why the biologics are so impressive, they do not cause as many of the side effects as the 'chemical' ones, they bypass areas to get to the area where they are needed, right down to the very cell.

The choice has to be yours, for sure, I cannot know all of your health problems or all of the reasons that you are not keen on it. And believe me when I tell you that I am not a needle fan, but after going through full treatments at pain management (5 pain management doctors in all) with the BIG needles right in the area that is killing me, and in the long run only being made worse, these needles are less bothersome than a mosquito bite.

For personal reasons, I do not want needles in my legs or my stomach, so my Mom or my husband give them to me in my arms, I alternate, called Enbrel to check on this, and am having no problems.

I will tell you this, the way this disease progresses, I may think that there is not a significant difference in the way that I feel, but come Friday, I feel like I am ready to get that little shot, because I can feel the good it does me wearing off.

I have not had liver problems from meds, but I had gall bladder problems for 20 years, until someone was smart enough to finally do a hydascan on me to find my GB was totally dead and non-functioning, it was stuck fast to the liver, and the surgeon was amazed I was not bright yellow with jaundice.

I did the liver cleanse deal with the kit from the health food store, took milk thistle with the advice of the chiropractor, and rather than B5, lamb thinks it is better for the liver to eat foods rich in B5. Even with all of that, taking no meds and not drinking, it took my liver about 2 years to clear.

Now you have to think about how your life is going to be, how the PsA is going to be in 2 years if you do not give Enbrel a try. I remember reading something on here from Byrd feeder about a lady telling her from her wheel chair that she wished she would have had that drug available, not to wait too long to begin the treatment that she has available to slow joint damage and loss of function.

There are no easy answers here, it is a place to vent your anger, fears, triumpths, to ask and answer questions. As much as we all think we know, we do not possibly know as much as the Doctors who treat us, as smart as we can be, we only scratch the surface of their knowledge. My grandkids all have psoriasis, my little great grandson was born with it, my son's back is that of a 70 year old man, and he is not yet 40. I am going to take anything my doctor will write me, because I owe it to myself and to them.

My pain was so pronounced that I did not want to live, so I took the narcotics, I took the Sulfasalazine, the Methotrexate, and now the Enbrel, and I feel far better on that joint wise, stomach wise, and lack of blisters all through the inside and outside of my mouth wise. My pain is tolerable most of the time, sometimes it can be 'pushed through'. I just know that if I had to live with nothing to ease the pain of this, then I just don't want to live. If I get 5 or 10 or so more years and can live those years NOT in intractable pain, I'll trade them any day for 30 more years in pain that I cannot handle.

You have every right to be angry, mad, pissed off, enraged!! For sure!! So do what ever you need to to get through that, and then decide where you are headed. We will talk to you, listen to you anytime. No one knows how you feel better than we do.

We are all here for you.

SK

It’s hard not to be cranky when you are in pain and tired, however I try to focus on the positive aspects in my life such as family, friends, my dogs and my home.

Absolutely! We have to be open to all the good things we have going on, Bumble just posted a great discussion on that! Hope you can join us again real soon!

Let’s see, if I’m alone, I scream, holler, swear, rant, generally behave in a lunatic type fashion. If I’m with my son (6 years old) I do my best to hold it in and by the time I’ve got time to let it out, it’s gone. In really extreme cases, the old saying of, “music takes the savage beast” is very true for me. My wife has a voice like an angel and the are several female vocalists who sound enough like her to bring me down. I’m very careful about letting my anger out physically-I’m 5’7" 175lbs, 30 years old, and a 3rd degree black belt. It could only end badly if I were to let my temper get out of hand physically. As a side note, I have found that significant quantities of gummy bears, fudge, or really good chocolate also help…

Now why in this world would you have to go and mention FUDGE at 1:36 am? Bumble!

Because I don’t have any in my house right now…my wife did just make two batches of rhubarb crunch though…

Omg so needed to see and read this!!! My poor husband… Lol I just tell him to act as if everyday I’m having bad pms or to just ignore me. Hahaha slamming the cabinet doors oh the sound of frustration! I thought I was the only insane one. Nice to have a group who understands… Sometimes I just try to be by myself in bed or in the shower until I just calm down or do I don’t blow.im learning and starting to realize the anger will pass it I have to remember to give it time to do just that. I’ve learned to tell my husband don’t talk to me right now and he gives me space. The kitchen is the worse place for me to be… If I cont open a lid, a bag of chips, a can or lift the pitcher of tea I suddenly get enraged and start slamming stuff around. My husband freaks. I don’t always tell him what set me off. I get frustrated that sometimes I can’t even make dinner for my husband without help. As a woman it upsets me. If I didn’t have damage in my hands and fingers I’d take boxing to release anger! Lol don’t get me wrong I still smile, joke and laugh but yes Anger is now one of my top emotions. 0;)

I have problems with the same items! I think it was Bumble and I talking about hand to hand combat with a zip lock bag! We have to laugh about it too!

I rant on online communities when i'm mad! Lol. So here is one, one of my siblings enjoys playing the victim. She always has and she always will. Well, sometime I want some sympathy for me. Even when I put up a funny little status on facebook relating to disease course like "my brain feels melty :/". I'm not really looking for anything, but she replies "thats how I feel every day of my life". It's like....really? Because my reason is that i'm diseased, your reason is that you don't get enough sleep and eat crap. >:( sorry for the rant.

Rant all you want. We don’t mind and odds are we all agree with your rant anyway :slight_smile:

Thanks :) I appreciate that

bumble said:

Rant all you want. We don't mind and odds are we all agree with your rant anyway :)

Emma:

I hear ya loud and clear some days we just need our OWN woe is me day !!! We have earned it havent we?!?!?!?!?! just saying

So Emma: the best thing on here is you dont get sympathy you get EMPATHY!!!!!!!

Trish

Haha, indeed! It's nice to have people who "get it". My husband is pretty good at listening to me rant but he never knows what to say in return. It's great to have a place I can go and really express my frustration :)

trishdett said:

Emma:

I hear ya loud and clear some days we just need our OWN woe is me day !!! We have earned it havent we?!?!?!?!?! just saying

So Emma: the best thing on here is you dont get sympathy you get EMPATHY!!!!!!!

Trish