Still need a hug - do i go home?

Last week I wrote that I needed a hug - my back flared up and I had to work and wait it out. My inflammation had been fairly well controlled by diet, methetrexate, indomethacin etc. BUT this flare has not cleared up as I thought it would. I am getting itchy along the hairline (and i never have skin flares, only the arthritis) I have left work early a few days, Oxycodone and Percacet have helped me sleep - but still I suffer at my desk from 9 to 5pm drug free. I take the indomethacin - but it doesn't help the pain.

How do you know if the pain is too much and I should stay home? I ask this to mothers in particular - because you know what I mean when I say that I HAVE things to do!! I cry when I drive home, I moan with almost every move - definately hurt really badly - BUT I continue to function. I sit here and continue and leave wishing I had not stayed. What is making me stay at my desk? Money for one thing, but why is my pain something that I don't consider important? Is it guilt?

When and how do you know that you should stay home? How do you give yourself permission to do it?

Last week I sat at my desk, considering going to the ER for the pain - but stayed at work until 530 - CRAZY sounding but I keep doing it.

HELP and ADVISE, please

Nicole Patterson

So sorry that you are having a really bad time! Is your employer supportive , do they understand what's going on for you?

You need to take care of yourself FIRST before you can take care of your family and also be productive at work, and that means when you are suffering that much you need to take time off and look after yourself!

If you're worried about your job, have a chat to your employer/supervisor. Can you perhaps shorten your hours/take some light work home? Try and work out some strategies

Please take care of YOU first- is there anyone that can help you at home when things are going badly for you?

And, I'm sorry, but if you are in THAT much pain- you need to rest & take some meds!

Thinking of you, I know you'll get some really great advice & support from people in this group

thank you - it is just hard to put myself first, never have. Husband is great, boss is iffy - sometimes he is supportive and the next minute he is NOT. I hate to ask for time off for something that they don't understand. A flu - never a problem to stay home - but he wants my butt in my chair.

I will try to arrange some work from home ideas - can't do this forever for sure.

thanks again for the support

Nicole

xmasmumma said:

So sorry that you are having a really bad time! Is your employer supportive , do they understand what's going on for you?

You need to take care of yourself FIRST before you can take care of your family and also be productive at work, and that means when you are suffering that much you need to take time off and look after yourself!

If you're worried about your job, have a chat to your employer/supervisor. Can you perhaps shorten your hours/take some light work home? Try and work out some strategies

Please take care of YOU first- is there anyone that can help you at home when things are going badly for you?

And, I'm sorry, but if you are in THAT much pain- you need to rest & take some meds!

Thinking of you, I know you'll get some really great advice & support from people in this group

Nic Pat,

I have fibro but the pain is very similar. I had a full time job that was agonizing for a year. Sheer torture. And not only did I work 9-5 but also did a lot of overtime. At the end of the year, I was in terrible shape. Started out with terrible back pain, ended up with knee, elbow and finger pain. And the whole back.

Moral of this story is that you CAN push yourself to the max for a while but sooner or later, your body will catch up with you and revolt, big time. It sounds like you're rapidly getting to that point. And once you do that, it's going to be hard to get the pain under control again.

My suggestion is to try and get lessened hours, or fewer days. You'll feel better and have more energy for yourself and your family. Take it from someone who almost killed herself from her job - your job isn't worth risking your health over, and with your illness, you are risking your health.

When I took some down time from work, I told them I needed to stay home with my boys. I knew my employer wouldn’t understand ( heck I even work in HR)
Just be careful what you say when you take time off if they don’t already know about your health issues.
But take care of you. You know what is best for you, listen to your gut.
And good luck

You sure seem like a perfect candidate for disability or partial disability. I don't know much about the process, but no one should suffer like you are. I don't know how you even put out quality work under this much pain, but I'm sure you do. If you need to give up things to take care of yourself, I encourage you. I have done that. No smartphones or new car every 5 years. No Buckle jeans for all of us. We live simply, have enough, and I make room in the budget that if I need to not work a day or two, no stress. I work on call, so that helps. I don't know what type of work you do. Maybe a change is in order? I wish the best for you and relief very soon.

That’s such a hard question to answer and depends on so many other issues. Do you really need to be at work? Are you sole financial provider? can you manage on less? Do you push yourself so hard and long because deep down you don’t think you’re ‘worthy’? Do you feel you have to keep going or else?
Its so true that the harder and longer you push yourself the longer it will take to recover., I reduced my hours because I could no longer cope with the long hours (normal hours were 3 x 13hour shifts a week) and only work alternative days so I have a day to recover between shifts. But any change depends on your employer and can be opening a can of worms
Try sitting down and working out why you push yourself so hard…there are other ways, but only you can see what would help. But to be honest you won’t be able to keep up what you’re doing now, take care of yourself x