Just Pissed

Hi all....I am not looking for sympathy or a resolution. I am just having a bad day and need to vent. Although I have been lucky and have been finding some relief in my agonizing pain. Today its the things that drive me nuts:

1. My vision is NOT what it used to be......I now have to wear glasses and when I am not wearing the glasses I constantly use artificial tears. I blame the Methotrextate.

2. I am tired of people thinking that because I have PSA means I have either a) a arthritis like my grandma, 2) I have a death sentance or c) I am "handicapped" and can't fend for myself.

Yes, sometimes I spill things, sometimes I am clumsy, but I am not a person that has to live in bubble wrap.

I want to take a dance class - ballet. My theory - the class could help strengthen my muscles, could help relax my ligaments and tendons, and could help with stress........their theory.....I am a risk....damaged goods.

I try to do a Zumba class....I am slower and stiffer than some.....Why? I give my reason - I am truthful....I don't expect to be an expert - I just need to get my ass off the couch and try and do something to keep myself limber. I wasn't aware that I had to be an expert.

Anyway.....a bad day....tired, stressed. Like I said I am not looking for sympathy or explanation. It is what it is......I accept that.......sometimes I just want to be around people that have no idea what "I am".

Gotcha on this. I understand so much. I wanted to
take aquafit. I figured easy on joints, active, gentle resistance,
And fun. Got the lecture from friends, do not over do it! Dr. said are you sure your
ready? Husband, is this going to make you worse? All I want
is to do something!! I want to try. Hang in and do not give up on
doing something. I am going to give it a go. Maybe not every other day
but maybe 1 or 2 a week pending joints and fatigue. I figure I am a only cracked
not broken.

I had to stop taking my water class this year. The frustrating part is that it wasn't due to tiring myself out or that I couldn't do it, it was simply that the way the pool was designed, I had to rely on my hands to get out of it (only has a ladder, not steps) and my hands can no longer handle it. I miss it greatly as this is the best way for me to exercise. My friend who teaches the class is trying to get steps put in now that it is being run by the YMCA. Meanwhile, I am not getting any exercise. With me, everyone thinks I should be doing the more strenuous classes and do not understand why I can't do the other ones - I don't know why and they certainly don't understand the situation. Honestly, the only way we can find out if we can handle it is to try it.

It's difficult for people who don't have PsA to understand what it is to have PsA, even if they try really hard. They don't live in our bodies, so have no idea what it's like physically - or mentally and emotionally for that matter. Our loved ones want to take care of us - want us to be careful, not overdo, etc. which many times translates to wanting us to take it easier than we need to. Sometimes we need to explain that we need to find SOMETHING to do for our physical, emotional and mental health, and that we need their support in doing so...that it will be a process of trying new things and trying to find a balance in doing these things and being gentle with ou bodies.

I've found yoga to be a wonderful form of exercise, stretching and strengthening that's easily modified to fit what I'm capable of on any given day. I actually follow a prenatal yoga dvd at times because it gives 3 options for the same poses: normal, partial support, and full support.

I hope you find something that works for you and are able to effectively communicate with others your need for more activity to balance out your life.

OHH YOU just go ahead and vent! Life is hard for us sometimes! I am only 21 and my PsA keeps me from even doing simple activities with my friends. They too try and tell me what I should and should not do. I just try to take these comments as expression of care rather than telling me whats best for me. But it is hard when my super athletic best friend and super sports guy of a boyfriend are confused why I dont want to take walks or play games with them because of the pain it causes me! SO you do what you want and need to do because only you know what you can and cannot do!

I love this post, you expressed so many of our frustrations so well!

I found that since my flares started I became a hermit crab staying in my home and finally when i wandered out of my safe shell to do something to be more active I get repremanded and told that maybe I should look into activities at the senior center where I can be monitored more closely......now no offense to anyone but I am only 28 years old and I would prefer to be around people my own age.....I know my limitations I wont push myself to do something that i know i cant do or recover from why do people treat us like we are so dumb that they believe we dont know how to handle our physical limitation better than they do!

That's the hard part, the balance, isn't it ? Sometimes we need that extra help, other times we just wanna try to be "normal" and do things ourselves. And yeah, we drop things !!!

My hubby is finally getting it & offering to help a bit & I'm finally getting it and asking him to do things for me....when I need it. I struggle to keep doing & not give up...definitely want to do things myself if I can.

I find exercise helps but sometimes it's hard to get going. The water is a great place to go & exercise. I see seniors come into our pool & just walk around, walk in the river, put on a belt and move in the deep end, and in our classes. Joints love the water. On my bad days I get a lot of relief, even if it only lasts up to an hour after I get out. Activity is good though for maintaining range of motion & I think it helps reduce swelling a little.

Venting is good too - sometimes you need to get it out, esp. to folks who might understand !!!!

I completely understand! I desperately want to be able to do yoga again, but I'm just not quite there yet. I actually started doing physical therapy and I'm starting to become more flexible again. I'm also regaining some of my range of motion. I hope that I'll eventually be back in the Yoga studio without having to explain anything further.