Exactly..... For what ever the reason our bodies chemistry gets out of wack. Pain meds stress whatever. What people need to understand is that modern psychiatry is not Sigmund Freud (they leave that stuff up to psychologists) A modern psychiatrist is essential a pharmacologist. Its takes time to balance the drugs to eliminate problems (all the "counseling" in the world won't change chemistry) Sometimes it takes a hospitalization to get it right. There is a HUGE difference between a psychiatric problem and psychological problem. I don't mean to make it sound trite but the biggest difference is control. and what allows control.
4 or 5 mg of predi SHOULDN'T cause rage if it does, something is wrong
nym said:
I should clarify that I have depression as well, and pred/depression don't mix well. I get rage at 5mg. It's horrible.
I don't get any rage with prednisone (I just checked with my husband and he confirms!) I get extremly anxious while tapering it down. It feels like I was 20 again and as the dose is tapered I become 90 before my eyes. It is as if I flair so badly coming off of it it just is not worth using it. I have depression/anxiety and have been on 20 mg of Lexapro since my son was born and he is 18 (and home from college for the holiday and I am tickled:-)
I love that you remember previous posts so that I get an impartial educated response! It’s better than a doctor because they never remember what your chart says. It could be a personality disorder and yes it is scary to think about. I’m going to the next appointment and am going to ask about a referral to someone that can help.
tntlamb said:
Tryn, its NOT just PsA, and I’m not sure that he is taking enough predi to cause droid rage and there is nothing else on his “list” that can cause the kind of behavior you mention, unless he is using the loritab in appropriately (and thats not likley…)
I wouldn’t be so quick to discount a “personality disorder” from bariatric surgery to this he has every reason to be “broken” aside from what is happening to you and the kids, this kind of anger has the potential to get very bad very quickly and harm to come to you or more likley himself. You need to have a team meeting, a “counselor” won’t do it. He needs to get his meds those he is taking and those he NEEDS to be taking squared around.
Anger is a strong sign of DEPRESSION/STRESS and guess what really gets PsA cooking???
People in a lot worse situations than PsA can control themselves even if there are meds etc pushing them. We are out of high school. Coping mechanisms can be taught/learned
I don’t know if I can talk him into counseling but I am making myself an appointment. Thanks for your honesty…
Jen said:
Funny, walking on eggshells is exactly how my sisters and I used to describe it…
I too think there is more than one thing going on here. In an odd way, I’ve had a bit of a look at both sides of it.
My Father has had an undiagnosed chronic illness, we now realise probably inflammatory arthritis since I was little (in a way it was far too subtle to be easy to diagnose, but did a lot of damage over a long time). I can tell you that his behaviour wasn’t due to any of the treatments, because he wasn’t taking any.
Most of the time I remember him as angry and extremely controlling (like he’d literally criticise my mother about opening a door the wrong way). Nothing was ever good enough. I must have been told “you’re useless” many times a week for most of my childhood. I realized later it was actually a reflection of his frustration at feeling useless himself. Not exactly easy to be philosophical about that at 7 years of age though.
Because I’ve been the kid in the middle, I’d like to acknowledge that it is not always so simple as gritting your teeth, working through it, and waiting till it gets better (if it does).
I can well imagine how you must feel as you children’s protector, whilst trying not to make him too angry, and then wondering if you protected them enough.
So Anyway… Fast forward and one year ago I suddenly got terrible joint pains, swollen knees, elbows, and fingers, even had a day where my legs went numb. Scary for anyone - but it didn’t take me long to realize it was likely the same thing that had destroyed my dads quality of life (only I had it much worse - yay). It’s hard to explain the fear that I had that I might turn into my father and destroy my family’s life (I have a 3 year old and amazing husband).
So I’ll cut to the chase on a few observations;
The pain can make me incredibly irritable and intolerant, but by the same token I’m finding ways to deal with it that don’t involve being angry at others - its a choice, as long as you have enough support to retreat to the bath (or wherever you need) when things get too much;
15mg of steroids is enough to make me snappy, but certainly not out of control - its different for everyone, I don’t weigh a lot.
Personally I’ve found Enbrel to make a huge difference - to my mood. My joints still hurt, though mostly they work, but it has an amazing effect on both my fatigue and my frame of mind.
Theres a bit of recent research on TNF and depression. Certainly there’s a good correlation between anti-TNF medication and lowered incidence of depression in inflammatory diseases.
So this is a roundabout way of saying… It’s probably a combination of the condition and his propensity to react to it in a certain way.
But the key thing I have to say - the pain and disease does not excuse unacceptable behaviour (even though it may be a trigger).
I love my dad - but never will it be acceptable that he repeatedly told me I was useless. Or the way he treated my mother or sisters. Don’t get me wrong - I still see and speak to them, I enjoy it, and I love them.
I do understand however that I couldn’t accept the same type of behaviour from myself, no matter how much pain I was in.
I’m not sure whether or not a counselor will make the difference without a bigger shock (ie odd things - visiting a poor country in Africa), but I think that if you are in for the long term, finding a way to effective counseling for both you and your husband is critical.
That’s great that you’re going to get support for yourself…whether David will or won’t help himself through the PsA/depression/steroid questions doesn’t mean you don’t need support.
I had counselling in 2008/9 and it gave me a means to cope with the problems I had at the time (abusive marriage, dealing with issues from childhood abuse, depression) and come out the otherside fighting and strong enough to cope with this illness when it kicked in big time.
Good luck x
x