You are and will be strong forever, however, never feel bad about feeling bad, about those bad days, on those bad days. People who have no health issues have pity days for all sorts of reasons. We must rememebr that we are within are own right to do the same, and not feel weak doing it. If by chance you do have the odd invitation to your own pity party in the future, and you will, I guarantee it (sorry), its not a bad thing nor the end of the world to pop in for a quick-one. Its actually a good thing, dont be scared to admit that what you have is life changing. some people think that having pity on themselfs is a sign of wesakness. The only weakness would be to not let your feelings surface once in a blue moon, just as a whale will break the line between water and air, we must also break the line of strenght and weakness, if only to breath again.
And yes, its no ones business but our own, we can tell them what we want when we want,,,even if its just a simple P*** O** (lol)
MajorFlake said:
Lamb,
wow, that was great. You explined it very well. Very good insight. I'm a newbie, just since November, but so far what you say has been true. Pitty party at the beginning, then time to move on and accept your new stage in life.
Joel
tntlamb said:Here (I don't know how it is in the UK) people are consistently in their own world called "ME" Its impossible to enter their world and rarley will they leave their to visit yours. Even if they do they will likely be lost. This is Grandpa talk..... None of us like to be judged, correct? Drives us nuts, sometime so much so that it diverts us from what we are doing. Heres the problem when we get concerned about it, we are doing the exact same thing. We are judging our friends family etc, It can't help the situation and likley will hurt. Suddenly we start to give in the the "pressure" and it really is like the "ugly duckling" trying to please the "mean girls" in High school. It will never happen. The ONLY solution is to tell them in a kind way "piss off" (I think is what they say in the UK) The second thing is - owe NOBODY an explanation. (immediate family, of course, is different) The third thing is to learn to say firmly with out guilt (or explanation) NO, I can't - today, I've got a flare going (whether you do or not)
The last thing is the toughest. Its your disease. Its an auto-immune disease which means NO ONE has quite what you do. You can drive your self crackers comparing symptoms and treatments...... You can get support, help advice, commiseration and joy for others - that is pretty good stuff. The other part of that is that you are in a new phase of life. I don't for the most part have the same friends I had 10 years ago. I doubt in 10 more years I'll have the same friends I do now. The constant with this disease is change, there is no way out of it. Despite those who say thats the constant in life, its not there is some wiggle room.