After living with this for 35 years, I don’t know how to live a normal life. In the beginning doctors did not know what to do with me. Finally5 years ago I was told what I had and was put on Remicade. Huray finally, maybe I can get some relief. It did help about 60%, which is a blessing compared. But then the worse happened, and I developed an allergy to it and almost died from a severe reaction. Now I am back worse then ever, with nothing to look forward to, but more pain for the rest of my life. I am 76 years old, and this is not how I imagined my retirement years like this. I am on new meds the 4 try, and nothing helps. Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on. SOMEONE HELP
Hello baklu. I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way you are. I wish I had a magic Help Wand but I don’t. However even though I am officially doing well on Humira there are times when the disease seems to suck the life out of me and I do know what it’s like to feel that the future’s just too bleak.
It’s a weird disease though, isn’t it? Weird almost in a good way sometimes … the better times … do you get those too despite the lousy problems with medication? I guess there are two things to work at, the usual two things, and they are finding treatment that does help plus any life style changes that will make a difference. Sounds like you’re on the case with the treatment quest - what is happening on that front at the moment?
And then there’s lifestyle changes / improvements. Pompous fool that I am, I tend to think I’ve got that covered. Have I heck! When I do get around to taking a long hard look at myself I can see little things that need trying or ways in which I need to try harder. Since my little dog died I haven’t walked every day - big mistake! Then I found out that what I’d assumed were ideal Vitamin D levels weren’t so great. And also there are ways of fighting back against despair, we all have our own ways, but sometimes I let that slide too. For me small changes can make a difference.
But the key thing has to be the treatment side of things. And if our support helps, you’ve got it.
You certainly do have it - please know that very much. Why don’t you show what you wrote here to your doctor? As there is always more that can be done to help the symptoms if nothing else. Yes really. And please let us know how you get on.
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You sure do have our support. Check out the Crisis Support thread as well, there are some great resources listed, and sometimes talking to a real person (particularly one trained to help) can make a world of difference. Know we are here 
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Yes, baklu, we’re here. One of the great things about having an international community is that there’s almost always someone here. I think Poo’s suggestion about showing this post to your doctor (or whoever your first point of contact with medical care is) is a great suggestion. Sometimes it’s just easier to write it down than it is to say it out loud.
It sounds like you might be suffering from what a great many of us here have: depression. Click here to have a look at a discussion about it.
Let us know how you are today!
I’m so sorry that you are struggling.
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Hi there baklu, I am soo sorry to hear of where things are at for you right now… it must be so very disappointing for you to finally get an answer for all the years of pain etc. only to end up reacting so severely to the meds that had been helping, at least, some.
I truly wish I had some real help for you, all I can say is hang on in there!!! Keep on the doctors cases about getting something that works for you… from what I have read on this forum it would seem most people do eventually get on a medication that has more benefits than side effects, I hang on to that hope for you too!!!
All the best!!! I look forward to hearing that you are on the way up again!! It can and does happen!!!
Hi baklu,
I’m so sorry…I don’t know what to say…life isn’t fair. I guess please follow the advice from the others above and check our the Crisis Support thread and the Click “here” Seenie mentioned…hang in there! 
Baklu - life seems to get harder the older we get - we are just a couple of years apart in age. I have found that we have made some assumptions and slipped into doing less and thinking various things that limit us is just merely getting older. In a certain that is true, BUT in other ways it is NOT true. I have found that some of the faltering mobility associated with old age is very often due to not stretching our Achilles Tendon. If you stretch it 5 out of 7 days a week it will improve your mobility - less looking like shuffling when you walk and less stumbling. Same with hydration - we need to consciously drink more water than just waiting until we feel thirsty. Moving hurts when we have PsA - including hands and fingers. I have various other orthopedic issues and sometimes get depressed about the lack of normal and the pain and limitations from those issues — BUT I greatly improved from pain and mobility in one leg by taking pain medication to help me get going in my own physical therapy and then no longer need to use the pain medication when doing physical therapy. I have also reduced pain in my hands with physical therapy for them. I could have charged such limitations and pain to aging AND DID but now I know there is more I can do than I thought. Thee are a variety of other medications that you probably have not tried yet, become more insistent with your doctor to try other meds. Hang in there buddy.
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