Hi all
I really hope my first post here isn’t too depressing. I feel at the end of my tether with everything right now.
I’m Lucy, I live in northern England, UK, and am 46. I was first diagnosed with a reactive arthritis in 2013 which was a massive flare (hospitalised for a month at first) and took a year to get over. But I did get into remission and was told it was a one off incident. I’ve been battling one thing after another since then - I had a hysterectomy, and it was discovered I had a congenital heart defect so in December 2016 I had open heart surgery.
A few months later in April 2017, during recovery, I started with massively inflamed knee, jaw and feet again, but this time it was also in my hands. It came on very quickly and intensely. The doctor noticed the psoriasis on my hands (only mild, I am lucky) and I was diagnosed with PsA.
The only thing in common with this and the last major flare is that I was very anaemic when it started.
Anyway - I’ve been on steroids since April 2017, injections at first then oral tablets since September. I did 16 weeks of methotrexate, which I think was starting to help modify the disease but I had awful side effects of vertigo and sickness, even with injections so was taken off it.
I then started with terrible acid reflux and swallowing problems - which got so bad that I couldn’t swallow my medications so was brought into hospital a month ago and started on loads of meds for it. Apparently it is because of the oral steroids.
To try to get me off steroids, I was started on Benepali (a biosimilar to Enbrel that is cheaper). The rheumy doctor counted 19 inflamed swollen joints. I’ve had 3 doses (weekly injections) but was not allowed it this week as I have an outbreak of coldsores (fever sores) and mouth ulcers.
I am having a camera into my gullet and tummy on 17th Feb to see what is going on. In the mean time, since this flare up started 10 months ago I have gained 35lbs in weight, lost my job, feel isolated from my usual activities (church and gym) because of fear of catching viruses etc. My confidence is at rock bottom.
On a positive note - I met a wonderful man, and we are getting married in May! And I’ve started a Masters degree.
I did a course in the summer to qualify as an aerobics instructor but was unable to finish it.
I feel so down, even though I have a lot to be happy about. I am sick of being unwell. I hate that it is dominating my life and affecting my mental health. I am trying to cover it up and not tell anyone how I am doing but I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.
I am sorry for the rant. I don’t know where else to turn.
Thank you all so much.