Doctor Stories - Tell me your funny doctor stories

Today I met a new dermatologist. It was AWFUL.
I wanted a new dermatologist since my current dermatologist is so busy. It takes months to get an appointment. This new derm was so young. I am 35 but I swear he wasn’t out of diapers yet! He came in, look at my hands, and said “Yes, that is psoriasis.” Told me to continue my current treatment and have a nice day! He was in the room for 2 minutes!! 2!!! $55 copay and 2 minutes with a doctor and no new medications or treatment. I was pissed! He also said “You should get back on a biologic, but I don’t prescribe them.” and “Try lots of lotion.”

I came home and made an appointment with my current dermatologist (who really is amazing!). It will be worth the wait.

What are your doctor horror stories or funny stories? I am sure there are some good ones out there!

When I was a teenager, I saw a PCP who told me my rash was caused by mental illness. At the time I was very upset but now I laugh about it. He was an asshole and a bad doctor.

The first rheumy I saw, the one that officially diagnosed, was rather like Grotbags (RIP). I got there, was told I had a hump on my back, was flat-footed, and bandy-legged. Glad I got to keep my boxers on, or heaven knows what else she would have found wrong with me! The ego trip I had was remarkable, as you can no doubt understand! Then I was told my liver was “not good.” She said it was no doubt due to alcohol. I said I didn’t drink. She asked me if I was sure. I said, yes, I’m always with myself when I go out and so I would know. (NB. Turned out there was nothing wrong with liver other than a mild reaction to the anti-depressants I was on and, oddly, voltarol). Then why I tried to ask questions about the condition, I was told to keep quiet (literally) and that she was the one who was meant to ask the questions.

Needless to say, I requested a transfer to a new rheumy!


First Rheumatologist told me nothing is wrong with me. “We all have stress in our lives. You need to try Tai Chi for the stress.” When I told her I was already diagnosed with osteoarthritis from an accident in 1994, she said “Oh osteoarthritis isn’t really a disease, it’s more of an inconvenience.” On to Rheumatologist #2 who said “you need muscle relaxants.” He pat me on the head and told me to “be a good girl and go away.” It’s been quite a long time since I’ve been a girl!

This is a great idea, amielynn! Now I just need to think of a good doctor story … :smile:

At the end of my first year of college I moved home (bad idea) for the summer. I found an 8-5 summer job and was doing OK except for the living at home part. I became increasingly depressed over the summer and lost a lot of weight. I went to our family GP office (you know the kind where you see one of the doctors but maybe not YOUR doctor) because of weight loss, insomnia and anxiety. I get called back by a doc who had just seen my mum for a pre-hysterectomy consult. His comment to me “why are you doing this to your mother right now?” My comment to him “if you think I have any control over this don’t you think I would not do it at all?”

1 Like

The orthopaedic registrar who was called to see me in a&e a few weeks back when my fractured pelvis was diagnosed, couldn’t operate the couch/bed which was too high for me to get on. He was also so nervous he couldn’t make complete sentences. I decided on the basis he didn’t know how to operate the couch or actually communicate coherently with me, he simply was NOT going to put a finger on me. I sent him back to nurse who had examined me and told him to ask her all about it. I felt like I was his mother as he shuffled out of the cubicle red faced.

Many years ago I had a very interesting GP. He had a succession of surgeries in run-down or indeed derelict buildings. His patients consisted of ladies of the night, drug addicts, homeless people and me. I think he wasn’t too fussy about the scripts he gave out but I stuck with him because the whole malarkey cheered me up no end. He was foul-mouthed, charming and utterly useless. Also extremely sickly and accident prone so consultations consisted of me asking him how he was and listening to his tales of woe and disaster.

One time I injured my ankle, none too badly. He told me to go to A&E at a very specific time. The doctors couldn’t understand why on earth he’d sent me. Then he appeared, flying down the corridor with his white coat flapping yelling “this is my patient! See, I work in Accident and Emergency as well as my practice!” I acted suitably impressed. Time came I needed a proper GP but I miss Dr S. I shouldn’t but I do.


Wow! These are great! Keep them coming.

Darinfan, Haha! “I’m always with myself when I go out and so I would know”!!! I love how some doctors ignore everything we say. It is like they have built a wall around their “awesomeness” and nothing can get through!

Sharon, “A good girl” huh? I would have left too. Just eat some grass and do some stretching!

Janeatiu, I hope your story was pre HIPPA. You could have sued him :wink: I am not a fan of the clinics where you can see a random assortment of doctors. I always get the run around as well. They are are ok for coughs and colds. Did you ask your mom about her hysterectomy later on? :stuck_out_tongue:

Poo_therapy, Hahaha!! I would have run for the hills as well! If you cant talk you cant cut!

Sybil, I think you won the best story of (my) morning! I was laughing so hard! That sounds like an amazing doctor, not the best for treating people though. You could have made random appointments to check up on him! Seems like he used you to show the other hospital doctors that he had more then “ladies of the night” patients! “I’m a real doctor!!”

1 Like

Not a PsA kind of story, but a year/two ago, I needed to shop around for a new GP. Previous one was retiring. I set up appointments with 5 or 6 of them for a meet and greet. #2 noticed I was wearing a Grateful Dead hat. He said, “I have to ask you about that… I was a big fan back in the day”. So, that day he became my new doc. Can’t go wrong with a fellow Deadhead!

He’s turned out to be pretty good. He’s actually younger, but I think that is sometimes better. Maybe less set in their ways.




I guess there is a reason your other Dermatologist had a long waiting list…
I fired a Dermatologist for misdiagnosing psoriasis on my bum as a fungul infection, the medication caused my psorisis to go nuts! When I went in to see the older substitute Derm, he couldn’t believe she misdiagnosed it so bad!

Jon, I was once closely (and I mean closely) inspected for worms when psoriasis reached my nether regions. Yet the rash was exactly the same as the one in my armpits. Oh hang on, maybe I had worms in my armpits, silly me.


Jon, Yes my derm is amazing. It is very hard to get in when you have emergency type situations. Like when I had shingles. At least I am established at this other derm’s office, for cough and cold rashes, lol! My son, who has psoriasis too, was also misdiagnosed with a fungal infection. His psoriasis went crazy as well.

Sybil, Hahaha! Wow, that is a good story! I’m sorry your nether regions where worm inspected. I am sure you didn’t leave feeling satisfied!!! Or, stop rubbing worms all over your body :stuck_out_tongue:

For the edification of those like me who grew up on the wrong side of The Pond, darinfan’s mention of Grotbags is particularly timely. Expand your general knowledge here.

You’re welcome.

1 Like

Yes, quite the icon was Grotbags, although I have to say that the rheumy in question has had that name since I met her, and so not prompted by the passing of Carol Lee Scott. She had quite a singing voice, too (the actress, not the rheumy).

With regards to GPs, the more important thing for me is with regards to the bipolar rather than the PsA. If they don’t “get” the mental health side of things - and some, bizarrely, still don’t - then I don’t want to know. Luckily, being at the university health centre from when I used to work there, most are very good with that kind of thing as it’s a common issue with the students. My current GP has managed to survive my hypochondria phase (which has subsided for now), and so can now cope with anything!

When my previous GP retired, I “shopped around” - dwlemen style! My previous two GPs had been women so didn’t even think about gender. I went to see one of the docs when shopping around when I had a slight issue where you don’t necessarily want one, and she refused to examine me and told me to come back and see a male doctor. I thought that was REALLY strange. If you’re a GP you can’t really just choose to see either women or men! If it didn’t bother me (and, believe me no woman had been near there for DECADES!) then it shouldn’t have bothered her!!!

My Derm felt so bad for misdiagnosing my Squamus Cell skin cancer as Ps, and also missing the melanoma on my face… That is why I let her do the minor surgery, so she would know there was no hard feelings, I also brought her a bag of peaches.
Unfortunately she did a terrible stitching job on the arm, it is still trying to heal, keeps popping open in places. But I like her, so I will stick with her, I think she will be more careful in the future, the new motto, “if there is doubt, cut it out!”

OK, so, first appointment with rheumy (a locum) went something like this (shortened considerably for brevity):
HIM: Who diagnosed PsA?
Me: My GP
HIM: We don’t think that’s what it is, we think it’s either OA or Fibro… (I think the “we” he referred to was the hospital rhuemy team)
Me: Oh, fibro, they think that’s what my sister has, but I don’t think that’s quite right, as she has so many of the health issues I do, but her psoriasis is way worse than mine.
HIM: There is no evidence of erosion on your xrays
ME: There is no evidence of OA on most of them either, and if it was OA would it respond so well to prednisone?
And so set the tone of the whole appointment :wink:

At least he listened to what I had to say and did examine joints, found knee effusions and warmth, lightly swollen ankles, ?enthesitis in elbows, and painful AC joints. He then revisted xrays to find heel spurs… and I ended up walking out with an increase in Mtx lol (subsequent rheumy, another locum, feels I’ve probably had PsA flitting around for years)

I must have been in really fine form that day, as everything he said I either had a sensible answer or question in reply… oh, and it was all done sooo innocently lol

Ok, First, Seenie… I wish I had never clicked on your Grotbags link! What was that? A child’s tv show, a witch? Hey, it is probably WAY better then Barney over here in the states.

Darinfan, Why wouldn’t a woman GP examine you? That is very strange. Some people are really odd. At least she could have given you a reason. (I could insert a few male anatomy jokes here, but I won’t )

Jon, Aw, sounds like you do have a caring and concerned doctor! She might want to brush up on her surgery skills!

Janson, At least you stuck up for yourself! It is hard to go in knowing you will have to fight to be heard and fight for what is truly wrong. I bet you were “in fine form”! Sounds like you gave him a run for his money!!

1 Like

Unfortunately I am not always in such fine form, but have found IF I can keep the defensive aspect out of it (not always easy lol) and couch my responses in “innocent” type questions or comments helps sometimes, such as when that rhuemy mentioned “exercise fixes fibro” and I lightly replied “well, you would think walking 5 kilometers (round trip) to town 2-3 times a week should have pretty much sorted that out then?” wearing my most innocent smile lol
Docs and specialists are only human too, don’t know everything and have bad days like the rest of us… although that is no excuse for downright rude and insulting as I have experienced at times.
To be honest things just popped out of mouth and later I thought “did I really say that?” haha but it worked that time :slight_smile:
I hope you are all keeping as well as you can be today!!! :sunny:

She was prolly more worried about you… Men seen to be more worried about female docs poking around there than the other way around. Myself I prefer the females especially for the dreaded DRE. Small hands…