Since 2005 I have been diagnosed w/ FMS and PsA. I have spent the majority of that time lying down. I stand the pain as long as I can and then I take pain meds and pray for sleep. The word that is the opposite of supportive is what I would call my grown children, siblings, ex-bestfriend. My husband and dog still love me. I don't seek out any new friends, because I know when they want to go out of town or even to the store most of the time I can't. So I have accidently stumbled onto the perfect remedy for people who want to just be left alone.
It's difficult for us when friends and family members don't / can't understand what we're going through. I have many friends who stopped inviting me places just because they thought it would depress me not being able to go. I told them that it depressed me more when I wasn't invited at all. I think it was hard on them, too, not knowing what the right thing was to do. It took a while for my husband to really grasp that my life has changed forever and I can't do what I used to do. He sometimes still struggles.
I found it helpful to host things at my house with friends who understand somewhat what it's like for me. I have a few friends who will come over bearing food and not pay attention to my messy house. It helps that I have a couple friends with FMS who get it.
Its taken me years to cultivate it, It’s made me make radical changes in my life but I’ve grown a thick skin against the world that doesn’t care and can’t be bothered to understand. I know what I know, I experience what I experience, and I have time for those who have time for me…I walked away from those who made my life hell ( ex and in laws after 25 years married) and I haven’t looked back…there’s a small group of people I adore who are there for me and I for them, we don’t always know what each other are going through but it doesn’t matter, we care and lend an ear a shoulder, take the rise out of each other, laugh and cry together…I keep others at arms length as they are acquaintances even though they may describe themselves as friends.
And then there’s the support from this site…priceless!
Love from my boyfriend and my pets…priceless!
The laughter my boys inject in my life…priceless!
I don’t get bitter I just put my thick skin on every morning, my force field against the uncaring
Its hard Yvonne, I hope things start looking up for you hun, been there x