A few months ago I asked for advice on taking a promotion at my workplace, despite my bosses knowing I have PsA, and having serious reservations about whether I had the physical capability (meds not working well, 60+ joints affected), and emotional capability (I was recently diagnosed, my dad has something similar that seemed to destroy his life, so emotionally it felt especially daunting).
After lots of excellent advice (Emily, Lamb, Allan, Hopeful, Jmt, GwynnethP, Shannon, and Seenie), I took the promotion.
I particularly appreciated those who pointed out that my obvious personality was such that throwing in the towel now would cause more stress than the high stresss job itself - all of you were so right. Even had it not worked, giving up before time really required it would have exacerbated the mental stress no end.
You might have noticed I'm on Enbrel now - and whilst my feet are uncomfortable most days, and there are always bits hurting just a little two or three days before injection day, Enbrel is like a miracle to me - a second chance. That feeling of intense fatigue, not tiredness - but being unwell, is gone (occasionally to return in the 24 hours prior to injection), and on the whole, my joints and body works (no painkillers in over 3 weeks). I have done enjoyable, if mild exercise, for the first time in 10 months!
I couldn't have done this without the promotion - I took it in good faith, and the pay rise they offered was enough to (almost) pay for the Enbrel - without it I'd still be languishing on MTX with prednisone at levels that is sucking the bone out of my spine....
I am so excited to be able to contribute to and enjoy both my family and my job again. I realise I am lucky, but also that there is an element of making luck, sometimes you have to grit your teeth and muscle through the hard stuff until you can find a solution that suits - or at least try. And I really appreciated the gentle reminders of that from those who gave advice.
I tried the job for over 2 months on MTX and steroids, and realised that whilst I wanted to do it, I really couldn't without better disease control - it took a lot of convincing the rheumy (they are a bit "different" here in Aus) before he would give me a script for Enbrel.
I won't be dissapearing off the forum though - my life is far too complicated for that! I am heading to Africa next week, and have made a deal with the travel doc that I won't take Enbrel for the trip, because I'm not really sure what happens if I get sick (and about the only treatment available where I'm going is a panadol and a bandage - with one flight a day out of the country to Europe).
But I thought it was timely to give an update, and say a thankyou to the people who changed my life.